Time and Chance

Chance. 

By definition chance is "the absence of any cause of events that can be predicted, understood, or controlled; a possibility or probability of anything happening". 

Anything. Uncontrolled. Absence of understanding. 

Chance. 

Don't tell the grieving "everything happens for a reason". Not everything does. 

Some things just happen. 

Time and chance happen to us all. 

And sometimes, often times, time and chance are really, really tough. 

But God is there. And there is no chance too big for God to overcome. 

He wins in the end, you know.

He can take your hard situation that you didn't deserve, and help you through it if you'll turn to Him.

He can take that run of bad choices you made and the tough spot they put you in, and use it for His glory as you are made new in Him if you'll let Him. 

He gives second chances. He offers retreat. And in the end? He'll be victorious. 

Time and chance happen to us all - but also, 

So hold on to Him. Because He can get you through the moments when time and chance are negative. 

Indeed, the only thing that can overcome time and chance is the sureness of, and security we can have in, His plan. 

Time and chance happen to them all ... But God's got you through it all, if you'll but trust and follow Him.

Choose Your Hard

You guys. 

Surgeons work terrible hours. They do really hard things. They have to be on call to literally go in at any moment. Sometimes, their patients die. Oh sure, they get paid a lot of money. But I couldnt do it. 

Then, think of all the nurses and even hospital staff who don't get paid that much. But they still do hard things. They clean up messes I can't fathom. Their personal schedules have to revolve around their on call hours and their other, scheduled, crazy hours. 

My trash is picked up at 4 AM ish. That means someone goes to work before 4 AM to literally haul trash. Last winter, the garbage truck wrecked on an icy day. Those poor people. 

The mail people deliver my mail (and yours), rain or shine or sleet or snow. They get in and out of those cars who even knows how any times a day. They cover alllll the miles. They carry heavy packages. They drive down long driveways they aren't sure they'll be able to back down. They put up with grumpy, disgruntled people who wanted their packages earlier.

The IT guy works llloonnggg hours. He's expected to respond quickly and fix problems promptly. He's expected to always have the answer or the fix immediately. He's expected to know the technology and accurately guess at any possible human error. He must remain patient and kind with people who are doing silly things, people who need lots of repeated help, and people who are pretty sure all if this is somehow the IT guys fault. 

The business man is tired of sitting at his desk. His back hurts, and he's made more decisions than he can count. He has employees that are counting on him. Customers he needs to keep happy. Stocks he must watch. Emails coming in constantly. And a family waiting at home. 

And don't even get me started on the soldier, the farmer, the preacher, the stay at home mom.

Jobs are just hard. 

They come with decisions. Big ones, small ones, 80 million ones. They come with bosses who may or may not be great and some sort of clientele that probably isn't always pleasent. They come with hours that aren't always favorable and situations that are hard to walk away from. They all require balance that is often hard to achieve. 

Oh yes, jobs are hard. The good news is, you get to pick your hard ... And you also get to pick your passion. 

Because jobs also have good parts. They do have paychecks. They have rewards. They have perks. They have times you feel good - maybe it's a bonus or a time off award - maybe it's just an "atta boy". Maybe it's a saved life or knowing you made someone's day. Maybe it's knowing you made a difference. 

And I will tell you, as much as anyone, that teaching is hard. Because it is HARD. The pay isn't fantastic. The hours look nice on paper and are harsh in reality. The clientele is often ungrateful and sometimes downright mean. Decisions are handed down that you disagree with and don't understand. The workload follows you as much as you'll let it and the decision making and mental/emotional strain are *real*. 

But I chose that hard. I chose it over construction worker hard and delivery man hard and dentist hard and surgeon hard and even stay at home mom hard. I chose my hard because I also chose my passion. 

I will also tell you, more than anyone, that teaching has good parts. There are children whom you know you've impacted. There are lightbulb "ah-ha" moments and relieved and greatful parents. There are days of fun and joy no other profession gets to have with kids. And oh my goodness there is a whole entire world of people who are the people they are partly because of you. 

I've read a lot of things about how hard teaching is. And I don't disagree with them ... but sometimes I grow weary of them. 

Oh, I'm glad when teaching is recognized as being hard. I'm thankful when it's acknowledged that we are a real profession full of real professionals who deserve to be seen and treated as such. 

Yet I think we could fall easily into seeing teachers as victims. And guys, teachers aren't victims. Warriors maybe. Champions on our best days. Fighters for sure. But please don't let us be victims. 

Because our job isn't the only hard one. It's just the hard that comes with the passion we chose. 

So, see the hard. But focus on the passion. Lean into it. Fight to change the things that are hard. Speak up for your kids, your beliefs, your knowledge of what's best. Take on roles that allow you to encourage and affect change. Don't sit idly by and be discouraged that it's hard. Help figure out ways to make it ... Well, slightly less hard. 

If we lean into the hard, the only thing we get  to see is more ways that our job is hard. But if we'll just lean into the passion ... Maybe we'll remeber how it can carry us through the hard.

Oh, we all have days we wobble, but teachers across the country are falling. So, r emember:

Positive Self Talk

As the girls did tricks on the swing set I was serving as self proclaimed "spotter" and overheard a sweet 4 year old saying quietly to herself:

"I am strong. I can do this."

"Take a deep breath." *Blows out breath*

"'Ive got this. Yes!"

..... Oh, sweet girl, may your self talk always be that strong and positive. 

Whether you're climbing swignsets or mountains, running marathons or surviving unpleasant situations, working through hard things or working with hard people ... this world is going to demand that you maintain that tenacity. 

At times you'll be your own biggest cheerleader and your own best motivation. Certainly, your own voice will be the one you hear the most often ... so keep telling yourself all the right things. 

And if your voice ever wavers, please know my voice will be here, ready to remind you of just how strong you are. ❤️

To My Fellow Teacher People

This week I have been lucky enough to have the chance (which is rare these days) to chat with two separate teacher friends. We traded ideas, and we traded woes. We discovered shared troubles and struggles.

It felt good. They are some of my people. Some of the people I can share my "I don't even know......" stories with and be met with grace instead of judgement. Some of the people I can vent a little to and walk away feeling a whole lot lighter. 

In fact, our brief conversations will get me through to Thanksgiving break because they were reminders that I'm not alone in my hardships or my quest for teaching greatness. So, I wouldn't change much about our conversations ... Except, thinking back on them, I would have been a little more intentional with how I let them end. 

See, I'm better with written word than in the moment speech. So here's what I wish I would have added to our goodbyes ... For them to read, and for you, too,  because if you're a teacher, or a person who has anything to do with a child, you likely need to hear this, too: ➡️➡️➡️

You are doing great things. You are affecting great change. Even though right now you may only see the tiny shiftings - with both students and fellow teachers alike - show, those are the building blocks of absolute greatness. Greatness just takes time .....and maybe occasional tears. 

You are a wonderful teacher. You are teaching those kiddos so much more than academics. Let's face it, they can't always "name" their learning - but it's obvious to those who knew them last year and have seen the growth in them this year. True, you can't take full credit for that, but you can, and should, take partial credit. A large serving of credit, even. They are growing in their thought processes and their ability to regulate their emotions and behaviors, as well as in their academics, and so much of that is due to you. 

I see you. I see you all those days you're here early and on those days you feel you're barely making it but show up with a smile anyway. I see you fighting hard for kids when you see a need, and working to figure out how to fight for kids when you know their is a need but you don't have it quite figured out yet. I see you staying late, giving every thing you can to make tomorrow, and next week, as close to perfect as teaching can be - for your own kiddos and your lucky coworkers, too.

Goodness knows we are all extra hard on ourselves, but your small wins? I see them, too. Even when you don't and when you feel like noone else does either. I see (and *feel*) how indispensable you are to the rest of us and those precious kiddos, too. I'm thankful, daily, that you're doing this teaching life with me and that I get to pick your brain, learn from you, vent with you, and see you impact the lives of our kids. 

The kids adore you. I've never met a single one that didn't. Even when they don't act like it. Even on those days when they do wacky things and attempt to test your crazy. You are their safe place, their comfort zone. They know you've got them .... and sometimes that brings the comfort level for all the things - good and bad alike. ......but mostly good. And when there is some "bad", well, that's when you show them how much you really do have their backs with some of that tough love the best teachers can dish out. 

Because, ultimately, you are the best. 

Oh, I know you don't always *feel* like it ... but you never fall short of it. Even on the rough days, you are giving your all and doing wonderful, amazing, world changing things. One kid at a time. One team at a time. One blessed teacher friend at a time. 

So, thanks. Thanks for making my wild days feel more normal and reminding me to come back tomorrow ready to try with renewed gusto. Thanks for encouraging the best in me and the good I have to give. Thanks for showing up and pushing through and being great. 

You rock, and noone says it enough. So....save this so you can read it again later. 😉

Flash Back

Just about a year ago, I started this post: 

"This week our elementary school has been virtual. Me, alone in my classroom teaching students who are at their homes.  It's only 1 week ... But it's taught me so many thinhs about technology and parent contact and it's reminded me of so many things about kids. 

I was reminded the very first moment of my first google meet that I really prefer teaching when kids are in my classroom instead of on my computer screen.

I was reminded the very second moment that the kids actually prefer being in my classroom to seeing me on a computer screen, too. 

By the third moment I started being shown pets and Christmas trees and houses and little brothers and sisters and I was reminded that my kids come from so many different places. We're all here within in this same town ... But there are so many different backgrounds.

As kids turned in work they were doing without any teacher support it became obvious how wide the divide amongst my crew is. How some clearly had plentiful parent support replacing the teacher support ... And how some clearly didn't. How some had a quite work environment, good for completing assignments....and some were attempting to concentrate through noise and diatravtion. LHow some had a priority placed on keeping up with school work, and how some had other things taking priority."

I never finished the post. 

I assume it was because that week was crazy and then in person school resumed and was crazy, and then I forgot about it because life stayed crazy.... 

BUT reading it the other day was an awesome reminder for me of the things that became so obvious last year. The things that are still so obvious this year. 

My kiddos are still coming from all those situations. They don't come from "level playing fields". They don't get the same amount of support and not all their families place the same priority on the same things. They don't all eat that well, or rest that comfortably, or have smooth and easy mornings .... At least not always.  

And then they come to school (thank goodness I don't have to say "and then they log on").... And they all need a million different things

Or maybe they all need the same things: a little grace and patience. A listening ear and an understanding word. To be welcomed and loved. To receive their education with a side of "let's figure this out so you can be the absolute greatest you" instead of a side of "because I said so". 

Because even in the days where it's hard for them to remeber it - let alone show it - they actually do want to be their best self. 

And no matter where they are coming from or what kind of morning they had they ALL are the absolute best thing their parents have to share with me. 

Seriously. There is not a single parent who is keeping their best child hidden and sending me their worst child. Each of my kiddos is their parents greatest thing - the prize possessions of their households.

...and I better be treating them as such. 

That Simple

This world has become a pretty complicated place. It bleeds into our lives in lots and lots of ways. We can't avoid it, it's just the way it is. 

We have complicated kids coming from complicated situations. We have complicated family dynamics and complicated social settings. There are complicated mental health issues and complicated thungs people ask us to figure out.

Our jobs are complicated, and paperwork is complicated, and keeping everyone happy as we fill all our different roles is complicated. 

And we embrace it, and muddle through it, because, well, we have to. 

.....but maybe not everything has to be quite that complicated.

At the end of a Bible study this morning, as we looked at Paul's discussion in Romans where he is aiming to prove that the gospel is for all, Jews and Gentiles alike, Uncle Jamie pointed out that Paul presented chronological evidence as if to say "it really is that simple". 

See, the Jews were complicating things, and the Gentiles were complicating things, and Paul seemed to be trying to get them to see that the debate was *actually* already settled because of the way God set things up. It really was just that simple.

That statement got me thinking about a lot of other things we discuss and dwell on. I will be the first to tell you we cannot ignore the complicated.l when we look at our world. We cannot pretend everything is simply black and white .... Butt we can choose to see the simple and some of the moments and decisions that we face. 

For one thing, am I doing with the Bible says, or am I not? In a lot of instances, it really is that simple ... Or at least it should be.

Am I worshiping the way God laid out worship? Or am I adding in men's traditions and treating them as doctrine?

Am I loving my brother and in the way got intended for me to do? Or am I allowing myself to be blind to my brother and sins in an attempt to "not offend"?

In my upholding the standards of modesty, the standard of life, that God asked his followers to have? Or, is the influence of the world around me dragging me down?

Am I about the work of my Heavenly Father? Or have I let this world, and it's temptations and concerns, distract me?

Maybe, just maybe, amidst all the complicated .... I need to strive to get back to the simplistic nature presented in the Bible. 

Follow God. Keep His commandments (all of them). Do His will. Strive to be more like Christ. 

It really is that simple. 

Partners

Sometimes he folds the towels "wrong" and claims not to know where the girls clothes go and sometimes I drive him crazy by stuffing the trash can too full instead of just emptying it and ordering too many packages from Amazon.

But sometimes?

Sometimes he cuts wood with the help of one kiddo, and I put my grades in while the other kiddo reads to me. 

Sometimes he washes the dishes while I drop off kids at daycare. 

Sometimes he starts kid bath time while I pick up the living room. 

Sometimes he orders a pizza while I finish a project ... and kid bedtime sure is easier when we tag team. 

One Wednesday I wasn't feeling well and he took the girls to church. One Wednesday he worked late and the girls and I headed out without him.

Some days - and weeks - he carries the weight because I'm stressed or sick or tired. Other times I carry the load because work and commitments keep him busy. 

Sometimes we have misunderstandings and argue. Sometimes we read each others mind without a word. 

We are never fully perfect. But we are always full partners ... And I am SO thankful for that. 

In Our Own Heads

Oh, to be as honest as the young ones are.

"Why did you do that?" I asked him. 

"I just follow whatever I want in my own head!" was his agitated reply. 

At the time that response frustrated me. Immensely. I really try not to do this, because it gives away my frustration, but I sighed - out loud - before responding. Then I said the best thing I could think of: "I guess that's why it's so important to think very carefully about the things we want in our own head." 

I ended our conversation still frustrated and not actually sure what discipline action was appropriate, and that led to me replaying the conversation in my head many, many times. 

.

On one such run through I realized that probably, the conversation we'd has was probably enough, and that the real reason I was stuck replaying the conversation was I actually needed to take my own advice. 

He was an impulsive 4th grader who was doing what popped into his head and seemed like the thing to do. 

I should be a less impulsive person seeing as I am.not a 4th grader .... But all too often I find myself doing the same thing. My own desires tempt me, my own thoughts "run amuck" and steer me wrong.

That kiddo, in a moment of his own frustration, said to me such honeat words "I just follow whatever I want in my own head." He had no real "reason" to offer me for his actions, and he was too honest to pacify me with excuses ... He simply had done what popped into his mind. 

How often do my actions scream that same thing to God? 

Oh, I don't go around intentionally telling God I'm doing my own thing, and chances are you don't either. But when we look at the root of our sometimes careless actions? When we truly dig to the heart of our issues and the tough situations we find ourselves in ... Isnt "I just followed whatever I wanted in my own head." often the real, true, catalist to much of our trouble? 

I didn't think it through. I didn't plan to sin. I didn't mean for this to happen. I just followed what I wanted in my own mind.

It will land us in a sticky situation every time. 

So, instead, I have to heed my own advice: It's so important to think very carefully about the things we want in our own heads. 

Because when our own wants don't match up with God's wants? We better think about them. When our first choice, or the fun choice, or the easy choice might possibly not be the right and best choice? We better think about it. In moments of passion? Frustration? Mere reaction? We better think about those things in our own head - and compare them to God's things very carefully ..... 

Because those things we want in our heads are also often the same things our own hearts know better than. 

One Piece Of Straw

Last Wednesday night I was rushing around to get ready in hopes of getting us all out the door on time for mid week Bible study. 

It's not an uncommon occurrence, the rushing. I'd stayed at school a little later than I planned to get one more thing done and then done a few "one more thing"s at home, too. Somewhere in tbe middle of starting a quick load of laundry realized I *had* to get going. So, I gave the girls a "5 min and we're getting dressed" warning and hurried into my closet to figure out what to wear myself.

Their "5 minute warning" didn't leave me much time to get myself around, and as I moved too quickly  through my closet, disaster struck. It started when I walked in - my elbow brushed a belt I had hooked over some shoes, and the shoes tumbled to the ground. No big deal, I picked them up. As I reached for a skirt and pulled down the hanger, a dress slipped off and hit the floor. The shirt didn't work how I wanted  - and grabbing my second choice resulted in another dress hitting the floor. When I turned around to hang the dresses back up, a stack of scarves I had folded toppled over, so then I had to pick them up. By the time I had them picked up, one daughter was yelling for me from her bedroom and the other was tracking me down. I had to fight back a meltdown because I *just* wanted 5 minutes of chaos free time to get ready for church so I could feel pulled together and ready to wrangle my kids .... And it simply wasn't happening. 

And here's what I'm trying to tell you: the straw that broke the camel's back wasn't any heavier than the other pieces of straw. It simply got placed at the wrong moment when the stack was already feeling heavy and high.

The scarves getting knocked over wasn't a big deal. Usually. 

The shoes falling down? That took two seconds. 

A shirt not fitting right? Well, I mean, aren't we all used to that?

But right then? In that moment? It added up all wrong. And all those little things came crashing down in a big heap of overwhelming. 

And how do you move on from that?!

....one live of straw, at a time, I suppose.

You pick an outfit and you hang up the others. You shove the pile of scarves into a basket (or, ya know, fold them back up, whichever). You pick up the shoes. You calm the children. 

One piece of straw - one thing - one moment - at a time. The same the straw got piled up? You unpile it. 

One piece at a time, with lots of deep breaths in-between, the overwhelming gets manageable again - and you keep moving forward. 

Not Alone

The pains I don't know how to ease. 

The heartbreaks I can't fix.

The unfair situations I have no power over. 

The struggles I have no solution for. 

The worries that I only have words to attempt to ease.

The tears I can only wipe and hug away. 

The problems I can't solve. 

The trauma I can't take away.

The realities I can't fathom, let alone make less harsh. 

God is aware of them. 

Where I am powerless, He is still powerful. 

When I can only hug, He can bring peace to hearts.

When all I can do is offer a temporary retreat form the harshness of the real world, He is hard at work in the trenches. 

Where I have no solutions, no answers, He has a master plan. 

When words fail me, He doesn't need me to speak them aloud.

Most of all, He is aware. He is on it. He is working. 

In all the sickness, all the hurt, all the world .... He is there. And He will prevail. 

When the days are long and the worries are mighty .... He is mightier.

He's holding all the sweet babies in His hand. He's with them, too, in a greater way than I can ever be  That's what I'll be reminding myself  as I search for sleep tonight.

They are not alone. God's aware. He's on it. He's got them. 

Waiting To Be Overwhelmed

My brother-in-law preached a wonderful sermon on Sunday .... You can listen to it here. It got me thinking a lot, and I'd like to share one of those thoughts with you.

The background: 

 In 2 Chronical 14:11 King Asa was up against an Ethiopian army with 1 million men and 300 chariots. He was out numbered 2:1. Any onlooker would have assumed he was facing a crushing defeat. Yet, he knew better. 

Vs  11 reads "And Asa cried out to the LORD his God, and said, "LORD, it is nothing for You to help, whether with many or with those who have no power; help us, O LORD our God, for we rest on You, and in Your name we go against this multitude. O LORD, You are our God; do not let man prevail against You!"

Long story short? Against all obvious earthly odds, Asa, and God, won. By a landslide. 

Fast forward a short time, and in 1 Chronicles 16 we find Asa facing a much smaller political opponent - a much more manageable foe. And this time? This time, instead of calling on God,  Asa makes a treaty with another king. They work together, they handle the issue, and all is well. 

......except in vs.7 we read "Because you have relied on the king of Syria, and have not relied on the LORD your God, therefore the army of the king of Syria has escaped from your hand."

Basically, Asa had called on God when he was desperate. When he had no other options. When he knew there was no earthly force to save him. 

But when he wasn't overwhelmed? When he was still inside his comfort zone and had earthly options? He completely forgot to call upon the same God who had saved him before. 

Josh made some really good points about this in his sermon. Seriously, listen to it! 

But here's what I kept thinking: Oh man. We do that. *I* do that. Sometimes in this life I get so busy "handling it" that I forget to stop and ask God for help. Sometimes I search out all the earthly options before I remeber I have much more powerful heavenly options. Sometimes I get caught up in me, running in auto pilot, treading water, pushing through that I forget there is a much, MUCH better way. 

I don't have to be like King Asa. 

I don't have to wait until I am in an incredibly overwhelming, scary, all-earthly-options-exhausted situation to ask God for help. On the contrary, I should be calling on Him all the time. 

Satan lays traps. And one I fall into sometimes is forgetting how much God cares about the "little" daily stuff too. 

So, here are some specific prayers I'm praying to help myself combat this:

"Please help me have patience with _______ today". (Because let's face it, I need all the patience help I can get).

"Please help me figure out what (student) needs from me today to help them be at peace/feel success." (Guys, I have a great support team at school who is always helping me- but I could use Gods help, too).

"Please help me have the energy to do what I need to do today and be the Christian, mom, and teacher I need to be." (Lack of sleep and energy are some of my biggest, most consistent battles. I used to think it was silly to pray for sleep and energy. Now I know it's not.)

I know your specific prayers, your daily needs, your small issues that you "could push through and handle yourself" look a bit different from mine .... But the fact that God cares about them? That's the same. 

We don't have to wait til the little things compound into giant issues to ask for help. God wants us to acknowledge our need for Him all the time so he can be with us all the time. 

Lean into Him. He wants to be there for you. 

A Little Bit of Nothing

Tonight I came home, and made the choice to do nothing. 

As a working parent, there are a million things I need to do each evening to have us prepped for the next day and the rest of the week. And most of the time "a million"  doesn't even seem like an exaggeration. 

But today, today I was tired. Like completely drained, can't even focus to see what needs done next in my to do list, tired. So I said to myself "when I get home, I am going to do absolutely nothing". 

And so, I did. 

Except first, I picked up my day-care kiddo.

Then we went to the grocery store. 

Which meant I had to carry in bags and put away the groceries.

And then I cleaned out both girls backpacks.

Since the outside animals needed fed, the girls and I went to tackle that. 

Some weeds (somehow, in September?) needed pulled, so I worked on those while the girls played. 

Apparently some people in my house appreciate clothes to wear, so I threw in a quick load of laundry. 

And dinner - even an easy one - needed fixed. 

The girls clothes needed laid out for tomorrow and lunches needed prepped. 

I replied to two school emails and a friend's message that needed answered. 

The fort the girls built will need taken down before bed....

But I really did leave things undone.

When I fed the animals I noticed the goat pens need raked, but I decided that can wait til Saturday. 

Those clothes (now in the dryer) already know  aren't getting folded tonight. 

The dishes are only done because my husband is awesome.

And instead of sweeping the floors that really need done (because I actually decided Id do nothing last night, too) ...  I took a hot bath. 

I say all of that, to tell you this: if your "do nothing" looks anything at all like my "do nothing" - and chances are, it does - then it is okay to let yourself "do nothing" a little more often. 

Once in a while, make the choice to only do the "have to's" and leave the "should do's" for another night. Once in a while, give yourself a break (and even a pat on the back). Once in a while, do a little bit of nothing so that you're up to going back to doing all the things another day. ❤️

Heart Strings

You. Guys.

I know a kiddo whose dad passed away recently. He crawled under my desk today to hide for a minute because he needed a quiet space. 

I know a kiddo whose home is in a bit of turmoil. He was extra loud today and needed lots of attention and movement.

I know another kiddo who is currently losing her grandpa, who has very much helped raise her. She needed extra encouragement and smiles today to keep plugging through. 

I know a kiddo who couldn't tell me what was wrong today - but he wasn't himself. He needed space, and breaks, in order to cope. 

These kids ... They are going through more than many adults have been through. 

They are struggling with things that adults absolutely fall apart trying to handle. 

.....and they show up to school every day.

They sit in their desks, they listen to my read aloud, they do work and math and projects and try to make good book choices to read independently and they walk quietly in the hall and keep their hands to themselves at recess  ...

...and they are just sweet little babies (who are old enough to be real mad that I called them that). 

We are striving to be a people that is *so good* at giving adults grace. We strive to meet each other where we are at. 

But these babies? These babies are in those same, really hard, sometimes terrible feeling, places. Most of the time, they didn't get there of their own choosing or their own actions. Much of the time they don't understand why they are there and they may not be able to see the whole picture of their own world. 

So, they show up to school.....Where I give them work to do and ask them to sit calmy in the chair and to please not talk over me. 

...... Yeah, Right.

They don't always know how to express what they are going through and worrying about. They don't always ask for help in productive ways. They haven't always figured out that positive attention is even better than negative attention. They sometimes have stories I cannot fathom that they aren't sure how to tell. 

Today was a good reminder that these babies need me to give them grace. They need me to meet them where they are at - even if that's under the teachers desk. They need me love them through their hardship and remain a consistent, patient, known factor, in their sometimes tumoltuous worlds. 

They need me to show them the importance of doing their work and behaving respectfully by showing them respect and helping provide them with coping strategies and patience. They need me to understand that some days are just hard - even for the best of us. And they need me to let them know it's okay to have hard days .... And help them figure out how to handle them productively. 

I've always known this teaching gig wasn't for the faint of heart. Once I thought that was because of the work load ... I'm learning it's a little bit of that, and a lot more because of the heart, itself. 

Winding Path

When the winding path is bumpy,

And if the potholes pull you in,

When the obstacles beset you,

Or the light is growing dim....

Then stop and take a moment, 

Let your travel slow it's pace,

And spend some time reflecting,

On why you're even in the race.

When you don't know where you're going,

Not quite sure where the path leads,

When you can't fortell the outcome,

Or know how the ending reads...

Then stop and take a breather,

And ponder this thought true,

While the journeys yours for taking,

It isn't all just up to you.

You don't have to light your own way,

You don't have to know it all,

You don't have to stumble blindly,

You don't have to risk the fall. 

So stop and say a prayer of thanks,

That God already knows,

The utterance of your heart itself,

And no matter what life throws...

You can safely keep on walking,

You can muddle through the mess,

If you'll lean on Him as you trudge on,

He will take care of the rest 

Oh, He'll guide you through the pitfalls,

Hold you up through every woe,

And though it won't be completely easy,

He'll help you know the way to go. 

And the journey goes much quicker,

With His comforting company,

When the path is lit with faith and hope,

You'll have everything you need. 

Permission

Sometimes as ... Well ... Humans ... We have to be reminded that it's okay for us to feel. So here's your midweek reminder: 

You can be incrediy blessed and incredibly overwhelmed at the same time. 

You can be strong enough to handle it and simultaneously be just about ready to break. 

You can want to do more with all of your heart, and be too exhausted to figure out how. 

You can be trying your best and still wish you could do better. 

You can be so thankful for everything and also really need a break all in the same moment. 

It's okay to feel things that don't quite match up. It's okay to feel things you don't love feeling.

Pause. Pray. But don't give up. Wallowing doesn't make it better - a reset does. 

So, give yourself grace. Ask for help. Take a break. And then get up and keep going.

You may feel downtrodden, but God's got your back, and you've got this. 💪

The Life Of A God Man

It's not what he does, or what he has, that expresses the worth of a man, but what he is.

It's a special thing to look back on the life of a loved one ... And yet, so often, a hard thing to do. 

Uncle Jim - more often "just" Uncle - did a lot of things. But the things he did didn't define him. He was a farmer, a soldier, a teacher, a coach, an uncle. He didn't have a lot of things. But the things he had seemed worth more than most. He had a little house and a modest farm.  But what he was? Well that was the best thing of all.

What he was, for 100 years,  was a God man - and that influenced everything he did and had.

You see, Uncle Jim was a farmer who took pride in his animals and land. He cared for them diligently, and taught others to do the same. He trained horses with love and a steady hand, and taught his nieces and nephews how to ride. He did things his own way - for better or worse - and rigged up many a "Rinehart gate." 

He was a solider who served valiantly and had many a story to tell. Perhaps my favorite was of the time he was wounded and an also wounded fellow soldier helped him to the medical unit. "We leaned on each other." He'd say. 

He was a teacher and coach who encouraged many youths to try a little harder, run a little faster, and play the game with the right head on.

He was an Uncle who loved those who were both genetically his nieces and nephews, and answered to  "Uncle" from (and served as Uncle to) many others, too.

That little house he had? It was tiny, but it had treasures galore. A typewriter, the comfiest chair, and always cookies in the cookie jar. The farm, a child's wonderland he'd gladly show you around (and probably put you to work on). 

Oh, he wasn't perfect. He had a temper that could appear if you pushed enough - that Rooster that chased Heather and I every time we went for eggs only chased Uncle Jim once. And, I'm sure he made his fair sure of mistakes ... I just don't remember them because what imperfections he had were far outshined by the good that he was. 

He spoke with wisdom and a positive outlook. He could calm any horse, cow, or kid with his presence. He loved people - and family - fiercely. He worked harder than most and outworked most men well into his upper years. He was fiercely strong and hard headed and equally gentle and loving. 

His life was governed by the Bible and his faith ... And he fully expected that his families would be too. He didn't mind to tell you if you ought to be doing something differently - and then he'd help you get there if you'd let him. He didn't need much here, because he knew he'd have it all in Heaven. 

Ive never met another person quite like Uncle Jim, and I probably never will. Yet, his legacy lives on. See, the life of a God man can't help but impact and influence those around him. And thanks to this one God man, there are a whole lot of other men who are a little bit more like him. His neices and nephews, cousins, friends ... He rubbed off on them. He made them better, and they are going on and doing the same. 

Not by what he does, or by what he has, but by what he is - the worth of the God man is great - and his worth stays alive through all who were blessed to love him. 

What's On A Coffee Cup

This is my favorite coffee cup. 

Its functional, it holds just the right amount of coffee, and the saying is just perfect. It sums up a huge portion of my life in a matter of fact, slightly humorous way that is very much my style. 

"Momming" is, by far, one of my most favorite things I get to do. But, it isn't for the faint of heart, and it ain't easy, not one bit. Things don't have to be easy to be wonderful.

That's why I love this cup. Most days when I'm ready for coffee, "Mommin' ain't easy" is just the funny acknowledgement I need to make in order to chuckle and get on with my day.

But sometimes I switch cups. 

Sometimes the reminder on the second (slightly smaller but just as wonderful) cup is what I need more. Sometimes it's a more fitting thought for my day. 

Oh, I make the coffee the exact same way and the coffee taste the same no matter which cup I drink it from. And really, the cup *doesn't* matter.

Except, it sort of does. 

It's not about the cup so much ...  It's about the thoughts I surround myself with and what I focus my heart and mind on. 

On the fun, busy days, I enjoy thinking "Mommin' ain't easy". On the days I've settled 7 silly arguments and cleaned up 3 messes before I make it to my first cup of coffee, I enjoy thinking "Mommin' ain't easy" (maybe with an empathetic eye roll). 

But on the days Mommin' really ISN'T easy? On the days when I'm exhausted or when life feels overwhelming, or when the world threatens to close in ... On the days when I wonder if I'll outlast the strong wills of my girls ... I don't need to chuckle at how "Mommin' ain't easy". On those days, I need to remember what to DO about it. 

Those are the days I grab the second coffee cup. 

Those are the days I reach for whatever little bit of extra encouragement to go with my coffee. 

The thoughts we allow ourselves to focus on influence us more strongly than we sometimes realize. Sometimes we think we can see things - watch things - read things - and then go on being whatever we wanted to be that day. But whatever things are infront of us - whatever thoughts make it in our heads anald are allowed to travel to our hearts - those influence our attitudes. The impact our motivation. If we aren't careful (and usually even if we think we are being careful) our repeated thoughts, the things we allow into our minds over and over again, begin to change and define us. 

So today, be conscious about what thoughts you put into your head .... Even if it's just when you choose your coffee cup. 😉

A New Beginning

Teaching is a unique profession for several reasons .... But at the top of the list is that every August teachers get a completely fresh start. 

Sometimes it's new admin, a new teaching role, new coworkers ... But even if you've been in the same classroom your whole career like I have, it's a new (or updated) theme, a new group of kids, and a new chance to start at the beginning. 

How often do we think of ways we could have "done that better"? Well, professionally, each new school year I get a chance to put what I learned from the last go round to good use. 

I get to set up my classroom the way I want, put into practice the routines I'd like to have, and make first impressions with the kiddos I get to learn from for the year. 

What. A. Blessing. 

Oh, I'm always nervous.... There's things I somehow manage to forget every time. There's always kids I don't have figured out as fast as I'd like. There's always a learning curve. And the exhaustion of the first week .... It's real. 

But, more than the nerves, more than the tiredness, there is a certain magic in the Elementary building. There is an excitement, an anticipation, that comes around just once a year as we get started on the greatness the year will bring. 

So, this new beginning, I'm praying to enjoy the magic. To cherish each getting to know you activity that seems silly but builds the classroom family I want. To relish the chance to be a little stronger than I was the last time around, a little better at doing what I love. To build with each new kiddo a relationship that lasts beyond the year they share my classroom walls. 

Here's to beginnings ... May we love them more than we stress about them. 

What The Outliers Need

The longer I teach the more I am convinced we, and all of our students, are all "twice exceptional" in our own right. We each have areas of giftedness. We each have areas of deficit that we struggle in. We all love extra attention (my kids ALL vie equally for the attention of our awesome push in special education teacher) and we all both crave and deserve the opportunity to discover and grow our strengths through relevant, exciting, and just plain 'cool' learning activities. We also all crave and deserve help in our areas of weakness and scaffolding where we need it. 

But only some get Individualized Education Plans. 

The reality is, while every person has some area of weakness and struggle, there are some whose struggles are larger, or different. There are many students who will need my aid, as the regular classroom teacher. There are many who will need me to answer extra questions for them in some areas, give them extra time, prompt them and provide scaffolding for them. There are many I am fully equipped to do that for in the general education setting. However, there are some who need scaffolding larger than what I, as the general education teacher, can offer while still completing all other parts of my job. There are those who need more time, and more services than I can provide within the constraints of my general education classroom. And so, we have special education. Sometimes that teacher is able to push in, and when that works it is WONDERFUL. Sometimes pull out is required by nature of the need - think speech services, OT services, and testing situations for our regular push ins. Sometimes the needs are so great students thrive more in a self contained room. We meet the needs of those children. We don't stop meeting the needs of our other children who still have weakness and areas they need extra help in .... But we meet the needs of each differently.

The flip side of that is, every single student has a strength, a giftedness, if you will, that I need to nurture. But some students have more or a different type. There are many who need my nurturing as their classroom teacher. There are many who will need me to challenge them, to prompt them with questions, to provide extension activities for them. There are many I am fully equipped to do that for in the general education setting. However, there are some who need services bigger than what I, the general education teacher, can offer while still completing other parts of my job.

What we often forget about the truly gifted child is that the truly gifted child does not always present as academically, or socially, high achieving. 

And so, there are those who need help relating to peers. There are those who need stimulation on a topic that will engage their brain. There are many who struggle to match up their adult like thoughts with their age appropriate emotions. There are those who need encouragement and opportunity to develop skill sets that are simply missing for them. There are many who are truly twice exceptional and whose scores may place them solidly in the gifted range and solidly on something else, such as the autism spectrum. There are needs they have that I cannot me within the constraints of my regular education classroom.

A "treat each child as gifted" mindset MUST be had by every teacher in every general education classroom. Neat and cool learning experiences must be offered to every student. Worthwhile extension activities must be available to all. 

But a true gifted education curriculum is not merely neat and cool activities. A true gifted curriculum, written for the students who have been identified as needing such a thing, is tailored to their needs. What an IEP does for a child with a learning disability and a special education teacher does as an advocate, a Gifted Education curriculum should be doing for a student identified through the program, and the gifted teacher should do as an advocate. And just like many things serviced through an IEP, the needs are often best met through a pull out situation. 

If we fail to meet the needs of the students with learning disabilities, ADHD, autism, giftedness, or any other special consideration, we run the risk of increased learning gaps that could have been avoided, and of eventual elevated dropout rates. That doesn't mean we stop servicing the needs of every child. It doesn't mean we can forget about every single child's strengths and need for authentic learning. It simply means that some students need different, more extreme, services.

Schools don't always have the perfect gifted program - but we don't always service IEPs perfectly either. Sometimes the identification process may need tweaked, and that can be said of both sides. Sometimes kids who 'we thought were' ... aren't. And sometimes, sadly, we miss kids. But most schools are trying their hardest to provide what each child needs - and, all the special needs must be considered in that. 

I am certainly thankful to be in a district where every child is seen for their strengths and cheered on as they grow those strengths and close gaps with their weakness. Where every child is given everything the teachers have to give. Every child deserves the absolute best, most personalized education we can give them. "Every child" includes the outliers. 

A Kind Voice

One of the most patience trying ... I mean, interesting ... Things this summer has been watching my girls begin figure out how to negotiate their own disagreements with each other. They are at different stages in how they play and don't always see eye to eye on how things should go when they play together. When they were younger it was necessary for me to jump in quickly any time there was a disagreement ... But as they are growing and have more words and coping strategies, I am attempting to back off a bit and let them work through some things.

Since I'm never far away, I find myself "coaching" them through these moments form the sidelines and the phrase I repeat the most often seems to be "Remember, she can hear your kind words better!"

See, my 3 year old often wants to play with her big sister ... But often does things, well, a 3 year old way ... Which can be very frustrating for her 6 year old sister. When Lydia tries to direct the play and teach Raina how to do whatever it is the are doing, her voice raises quickly out of frustration. AND when Raina had her own ideas to contribute to the play and feels like Lydia isn't listening to them, her voice raises quickly as well. 

Once the raised voices and frustrated yelling begin, no more playing gets done. Neither girl likes to feel like her sister is yelling at her, and neither girl can listen to the frustrated tone of her playmate. Let's be honest, no one wants to listen to the high pitched wails, so if we reach the point of shouting, it quickly becomes a disaster. 

However, if Lydia can remember to talk calmy to Raina and use her normal voice "Raina let's do it this way instead" and if Raina can remember to talk calmy and use her big kid voice "Lydia, I want to ____" then they are able to attend actually hear and listen to what the other is saying and the play is able to continue mostly uninterrupted. 

I know it's harder with the current age and stage gap and by default of navigating the sisterly relationship .... But really, don't we all struggle with the same thing? 

When we disagree with someone or don't like the way they're doing something, We get flustered and frustrated and can quickly begin to raise our voices. Then, when we feel like they're not listening to us, we get even more frustrated and the spiral of emotions affects our voices and our faces too. And then? Then whoever we are talking to can't even hear our words - no matter how good our argument is  - because they are too busy reacting to our tone and our frustration. The spiral takes is quickly down into a conversation disaster. 

But, what if we remember "They can hear your kind words better".

Oh, I might still have to disagree. I might even have to tell someone I don't like what they did or what they said ... But if I can keep my calm, if I can remain kind - loving even - then maybe the conversation won't turn to disaster. 

Maybe instead of yelling back at me, they will also remain calm and kind. Maybe they'll be able to hear what I'm saying and consider my words. Maybe our conversation - and our relationship - can continue on mostly uninterrupted. 

It doesn't mean I don't stand up for myself, or say what I know needs to be said ... It's all about the delivery. 

I want my words heard ... And I'm learning most people can hear my kind voice whisper way easier than they can hear my grumpy voice yell.

Transformation

This week is the week before back to school teacher meetings begin, so I've spent a fair amount of time working in my classroom. 

The goal is always prep the room for the beginning of a new year. Make it look fresh and inviting for an awesome group of students .... Make it be organized and functional for all.

This year I went a little further because I wanted to change things up. I (with some awesome help) painted the shelves, rearranged the tables, and streamlined the clutter. I even got a new rug!

My room has been truly transformed .... In a matter of 2 partial days. Which got me thinking ... Why can't all transformations be that easy? 

When I set out to tansform myself ... Why is it so much harder than redoing a classroom? Why is kicking a bad habit (ahem ... Nail biting) which I've been trying to do ALL summer so much harder than painting shelves? Why is changing and controlling my thoughts and reactions so much more difficult than rearranging tables and putting up new bulletin boards?

And then it hit me. I transformed my classroom easily this year because I didn't clean the closet. In fact, I have yet to open the closet door. 

People, I have lived in this classroom for 10 years (whoa!). The first several years I organized my closet each August. I made sure all the construction paper was sorted by color and neatly stacked. The theme boxes were easy to pull out, everything had a place. 

Now?

Now I haven't organized the closet in at least 4 years.

Why not? .... Because I don't want to. 

Oh, I could give you lots of reasons (ahem, excuses...).

...... I have kids now. 2 of them. They deserve my time and I don't want to leave them more than necessary at the beginning of the year. 

....We got into our classrooms a little later this time around so I didn't have that much time. 

....I can still *see* all the colors of construction paper.

....The door still closes. 

....Usually nothing falls out when I open the door.

.... It's more important to focus on the parts people see.

.... It's a really time consuming process and messes up the rest of my room. 

Those last 4 .... They are hitting close to the real thing. 

Closet clean outs are messy. You have to make a bigger mess to clean the mess .... Everything must be pulled out (which clutters all the other spaces), things have to be sorted through, decisions must be made about what to keep and what to get rid of, things have to be wiped down and cleaned off, and THEN what's being kept has to be put back and what's being thrown out has to be carried off .... 

It's exhausting. And messy. And sometimes embarrassing for someone to walk in and see.

And maybe *that's* what a real transformation is. 

Maybe a real, lasting, transformation of our hearts and minds and habits is way more like cleaning a closet than it is like decorating a classroom. 

In Romans 12:2 when it says "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.", we aren't talking about a room facelift. We can't cut our hair, buy a new wardrobe, and call it good like I did when I painted my shelves and rearranged things in my room. This transformation? It's a closet clean out. 

In order to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind" we have to give our minds space to be renewed. That means we have to pull everything out and sort it. We have to decide what thoughts, what habits, what loves, get to stay .... And which ones have to go. It's going to be time consuming. It's liable to be quite messy .... And parts of it may even embarrass us. But when we're done? 

Oh, when we're done we'll realize it was much more important - and worth the effort - than any mere facelift could be. 

My shelves won't stay flawless for long. The first day my 4th graders stack their chairs ... There goes that. The bulletin boards will stay neat for a while - but they will fade with time and the picking fingers of kids passing by. If my closet was clean however, I'd be more able to maintain the organizational structure of my classroom and I'd be less likely to clutter it back up. 

The problem is, closets aren't the only thing we think "no one can see it with the door closed" about. And when we allow ourselves to think that way about our hearts? Watch. Out. 

First of all ... It's not secret. 

1 Samuel 16:7 (and numerous other verses) let us know that God sees our hearts: "For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."

And secondly, we won't be able to keep it secret anyway. 

Matt. 12:34 reminds us that our words and actions come from the heart "You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." 

Furthermore, it is harming us: 

Matthew 15:17 reads "Do you not yet understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man."

The bottom line is, if we don't transform our hearts - no outward appearance of a transformation will save us. 

So, soon, I will dig in and clean out my classroom closet before I run a further risk of it spilling out and messing up my room makeover. 

And immediately, I'll dig back in to my own much more personal transformation .... Because when it comes to matters of the heart and mind, there is always more work to be done and growth to be had.

Balance

After a wonderful summer with a little extra time and a few less obligations, the school year is calling me back to the real world ... Which means it's time for this yearly reminder to myself: 

"Prioritize your priorities and let what needs to go, because balance is not something you find, it's something you create."

Let's face it, none of us go around doing a whole lot of things we seem totally unimportant. We (largely) spend our time doing things we like, things we enjoy, or things we decide need done. Which means it's often hard for us to "cut" things from our plates and to-do lists. If it's all important, what goes? 

So here's what I'm hoping will allow me to keep taking deep breaths this August .... balance.

If you pictured this:

don't. Instead, picture this:

If you Google "balance" the number 1 definition that pops up is "keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall." 

When you build a block tower, even the toddler builder fairly quickly figures out that the tower needs a steady base to allow the tower to stand. If you rush building and bump the tower or get things off center, the whole tower is likely to topple prematurely. Instead, the block tower builder needs to carefully put each block on steadily, in a solid, maintainable position.

We have so many "blocks" in our worlds. Church, Bible study, marriage, children, extended family relationships, friends, careers, hobbies, pets ... the list could go on and on. Our responsibilities and our chosen past times fill our hands - which is GREAT - as long as we keep them balanced.

You may occasionally hear me say I'm "juggling" it ... but I'm trying to strike that phase from my vocabulary. Here's why:

If you Google "juggling" the top definition is "continuously tossing into the air and catching (a number of objects) so as to keep at least one in the air while handling the others, typically for the entertainment of others" and the second is "cope with by adroitly balancing".

Okay - I love you all - but I don't have the mind space to do much "for the entertainment of others" (ha) and continuously tossing things into the air just sounds exhausting. AND do you know what "adroitly" means? It means "in a clever or skillful way". I can *guarantee* you that at the end of every day the first month of school I will be much too tired to be clever and skillfully tossing things into the air and catching them. 

.... ain't nobody got time for that.

So, instead, I will balance - with careful thought - as much as I can. When you build a really tall tower, the base has to be the biggest - the most solid. Then, the levels may get skinnier, and even a little wobbly, the higher up you go.  

For me, this means, my "big" things - my highest prioritized priorities - are my base. My Bible study, my relationship with God, my worship are the base I *must* maintain. The things that are tied directly to that are my next, almost as large, level: my marriage,  my daughters, my family, the relationships that keep me going strong and that are important for me to keep up.

Some levels have variances and choices that must be made - as a teacher, my career is important, but can also be consuming. I LOVE my job and always want to give it my all ... but choices have to be made. How many extra clubs will I sponsor? How many extra duties do I sign up for? How much extra time do I put in? 

And some levels may have "time variances" .... sometimes my friends need me to get together with them, to reach out, to engage frequently. Sometimes my friends (because they are awesome) understand that my social life needs to take a back seat for a time. Things ebb and flow - and that is okay, too.

Some levels are fun, and may be temporary. They balance on the top for a time, and then can be removed. Lydia played spring soccer and loved it! It was worth the time commitment for her, and we'll probably balance it again this spring. She isn't playing fall soccer because I don't see a way to balance that. And, that's okay too! Remember this post? It's the only juggling analogy I love ... sometimes the plastic balls have to be allowed to drop so the glass ones can stay in the air. Will she be slightly disappointed when she doesn't get to play fall soccer? Yes. Will she live and move on incredibly quickly without any life-long damage and baggage? Also yes (phew). 

And, here is the *best* thing about balancing when you're building a block tower .... you can stop and readjust along the way. A new block needs put in? Figure out where it fits *without* knocking over the whole thing. Does it strengthen the base? Does it fit well with a different level? Does it teeter on the top and bring enough positives to be worth the extra height?  All good. But if it overwhelms the base and threatens to make your balanced tower topple ..... reconsider, and maintain the balance.