Acting On Love

There are lots of reasons people do things.

To gain attention.

To please others.

Moral obligation to do the right thing.

Love.

Fear.

Anger.

Feelings of obligation. 

To please themselves.

To find joy.

To make money.

To gain status.

I'm sure you could add to the list. 

The thing is, most of those reasons we do things ebb and flow. 

We get the attention and status we wanted.

We give up on gaining attention and status.

We tire of trying to please others. 

We get fed up.

Fear and anger fade.

We tire of obligation.

We make money.

We decide money doesn't matter.

Peer pressure steers us. 

The things of the world - the things of our human nature - mold us and push us and shape us change us and force our path.

Unless.

Unless we are choosing to allow ourselves to be shaped by love instead. 

Love keeps us going when we're tired. Love keeps us doing the right thing when the wrong thing would be easier. Love keeps us headed the right direction even when it's unpopular. Love begets patience and beats fear and anger every time. 

Love is the only motivation that doesn't fail us. Love outlasts everything else. 

I think that's why Jesus tells us in John14:15  "If you love Me, keep my commandments." 

Maybe we were raised in the church and our parents expect us there.Maybe our social group are God pleasing people. Maybe we're smart enough to be in awe of God's power. Maybe we are simply trying to find the right thing to do. 

None of those things are bad ...in fact, they are all good. But if we don't also love God, none of those other things will last. 

Active love keeps us being kind to others even when they are hard to be kind to. Active love keeps us getting up and pushing forward when it's be easier not to. Active love keeps us striving to please God even when it's hard.

Love conquerors all ... So let love be your reason behind all of your actions. 

💞

Quiet Love

I know this world is crazy, but my sister crocheted me a tiny Christmas tree for my desk at school to bring me a little joy, and it is my students most favorite thing to comment on. 

There are embarrassing moments, but a sweet man at church held the door for me so that I could carry my fit throwing 3 year old through it with only a gentle smile and an understanding glint in his eye.

There are a million things to fill out eyes and brains with, but my friend texts me scriptures to dwell on instead. 

My family has their own commitments, yet they are willing to drop or shuffle things to help me, and my daughters, every time. 

My husband works hard all day, but he often makes dinner so I don't have to when he knows my day has been long.

The music teacher at school has a ton going on in this crazy "covid year" of teaching, but she made room in her world to start Lydia on piano lessons. 

 

We all have  800 directions to go and things to do, but my coworkers consistently offer me coffee and a copy of a neat project they found and thought worth sharing. 

There are hardships and bummers, but my Facebook news feed is full of stories of people making "porch drops" of goodies for friends who are quarantined. 

The world may be full of craziness and unsettled times, but it's also full of new ways, and renewed efforts to stay connected. It's full of people taking care of other people. 

So, this Thanksgiving week, I'm extra thankful for all the people just quietly loving on those around them. Even when it feels unnoticed or taken for granted ... It's not. It's difference making. It's powerful. It's building our world up every time. 

 

Water Droplets

I've always loved Rainbows. What's not to love? However, aside from seeing them as a beautiful display of God's wonder and promise, I can't say I've ever given them a ton of thought. 

Until.

Saturday the girls and I were on our way home when we saw the most beautiful rainbow. It's the most vibrant one I remeber seeing and the picture I pulled over to take does not do it justice. 

It was actually a double rainbow - a beautifully vibrant and complete rainbow with a barely visible, larger rainbow above it. The girls sat and just stared at it for as long as I was pulled off the road. And, in true drama fashion, Raina cried when we turned away from it and she couldn't see it anymore, and Lydia had 18billion questions.

And, so, when we got home, we looked up rainbows. 

.               (https://scijinks.gov/rainbow/)

I guess I've known for a long time what "made" a rainbow, but somehow, looking at the explanation with Lydia, I noticed something different. 

You see, I've often seen quotes about being a rainbow of hope for people ... Spreading joy, all that. And I want to do that. BUT some days, let's face it, "be a rainbow" may feel like an awfully big task. 

So, here's the good news: I don't actually need to be the rainbow. Instead, I simply need to be the water droplet. 

You see, God's light shines. Regardless of me. Despite me. Inspite of me. But if I can act as a water droplet ... If I can let His light come through me and reflect out in beautiful, eye catching colors ... Well, then maybe I can do my part to help spread the light of God. 

I don't have to be the whole rainbow. I shouldn't even try to be the rainbow. God just needs me to be a water droplet for His light to find. 

Religion and Politics

I have a rule about not posting on overly controversial topics. I think that's still intact after writing this one.

Here's the deal: There is, thankfully, a separation of religion and politics. It's set up that way in the Bible (My. 22:21 - render to Ceaser the things which are Ceaser's and to God the things which are God's) and our country's founding fathers maintained this idea as they wrote the documents that govern our nation. 

I'm also, quite certain, we can be both excellent citizens of God's kingdom AND excellent citizens of our earthly country. Infact, I am quite certain we are expected to be both. 

And so, while I do back the separation of church and state, because my religion impacts every aspect of my life, if also impacts my politics. 

And here's how:

- I pray for our leaders because the Bible let's me know that's what I should do. (1 Timothy 2:1-2) ....but we all know prayer is deeper than words. Prayer is an attitude, a coming to God. And people, we can't pray for someone in authority and then turn around and say terrible, slanderous things about them. It simply doesn't work that way. 

- I respect our leaders because the Bible let's me know that's what I should do. (1 Peter 2:17) Respecting a person does not mean I agree with 100% of decisions made my a person. It doesn't mean I won't stand up against an idea, philosophy, or policy. However, respect does govern the WAY I make that stand. It tempers my words and my tone of voice. It stops me from reposting a meme or a degrading comment. 

- I search for the truth because the Bible let's me know that's what I should do. (Exodus 23:1 "You must not pass along false rumors ...".) There is a "say what I want" mentality in our society that has infiltrated the best of us. Guys. I don't believe it's okay. I should not say merely what I heard, or feel, or even think about another person or situation. I need to spread the truth. Not just the gospel truth, but also the truth about each situation or person I feel the need to all about. So, PLEASE "fact check" me. If I say something, share something, post something, help me make sure I am sharing real information. I do not want to spread lies or gossip or misinformation. 

- I pray about every decision I make because the Bible let's me know that's what I should do. (James 1:5 - If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God...). How to vote? Who to vote for? What to speak up in support of? What to stand against and how to make that stand? Those all have to be prayerfuly made decisions, because I don't have all that wisdom on my own account. 

-I follow God first, because the Bible let's me know that's what I should do. (Acts 5:29, Galatians 1:10). If you ask me what I "am" I will not first think to tell you my political affiliation. I am not, first, a republican, democrat, libertarian, or any other party member. I am, first and foremost, a Christian. And that fact changes the way I look at politics and politicians, talk about politics and politicians, and the lense that I look through when viewing them as well. 

Letting Go

Today - like just about every day - there were approximately 801 interruptions and/or things I needed to take care of. Some of those things got handled today. Some, well ... didn't. 

I am NOT a person who likes to leave things, or people, hanging. Quite the opposite, infact. I prefer my lessons planned out 3 weeks in advanced, my email inbox empty, or at least sorted and saved, and all of my responsibilities filled a day or two early. 

But that doesn't always happen. In fact, in todays current chaos, it happens less than I'd like. 

And that is enough to completely stress out an anti-procrastinator such as myself. 

And, so, I'm working on letting go. Not a lot, and certainly not on letting go of the actual completing of responsibilities - I don't want to go crazy here - but when it comes to those things I truly can't fix or take care of *right now*, I'm working on letting go of the stress and self imposed guilt. 

The "letting go" looks different in each situation. 

-- Usually it looks like sticky notes, reminders, and lists. If I can't deal with it right now, you can bet it's on my to do list, you know, the list with arrows pointing to sublists. That's keeps me organized. If I need to take care of it later, I set an alarm or reminder in my phone ... Because if show and tell is remebered Friday morning as we leave instead of laid out Thurs night, that's harder. Those things keep me going. They are my assurance that "not done yet" doesn't mean "forgotten about".

-- Sometimes, and maybe increasingly much, letting go looks like practiced responses such as: "Yes, that is on my list of things to get to as quickly as possible. Thank you for your patience." This is a way I can remind myself and others it's okay that I am working hard, getting to things, and also get to have a life and priorities.

-- Sometimes, it looks like apologies... "I'm sorry I've wasnt able to for see this problem. Let's think about how we can work around it." This helps me because it takes away the guilt I sometimes impose on myself. Goodness knows I cannot actually foresee all problems that might arise ... And that's actually quite okay.

-- Sometimes it looks like a text "I'm not going to make it by for milk today - can you grab some?" I am so thankful for a husband who gets this and will pick up the milk and maybe cook dinner, too. He, and our extended support system are the reason the girls and I are able to keep going. I'd you don't have a support system ... You've got to get you one. Reach out so I can help you find yours.

-- Sometimes it looks like turning off the TV and reminding myself what I can control and what I can't - how I can impact my piece of the world and hope that spreads but cannot fix "it all". Priorities come into play here. I will gladly pray for the world sproblems - but I have to find the practical and manigible ways that I can work to fix problems I can have a hand in fixing, starting in my own little corner.

-- Frequently, it looks like straight up fails and flops because Im a long way from figuring all the chaos out. It looks like nail biting. It looks like tension headaches. It looks whiny or "snappy". 

-- And, therefore, the letting go always looks like prayer. So. Much. Prayer. To help me let go. To help me find which things I need to prioritize. To find peace with situations I cannot fix. For help withy timing and my speech. Prayer, because letting go isn't a natural thing for me - but handing it over the worry to God is something I can definitely get on board with. 

Peace-bringing Perspective

There are toooo many things to do. 

There are dishes.

There is laundry.

The floor needs swept.

The counters need wiped.

Dusting. Sweeping. Mopping.

The leaves need raked.

The porch needs swept.

We need groceries.

We need to visit the feed store.

I should lesson plan.

There is some paper work.

Bible class needs planned.

The girls church bags need reset for Sunday.

I should probably cook an actual meal sometime.

The girls clothes need played out for next week.

The dogs need baths.

The kids need baths.

The girls want to play. 

There are people I should reach out to.

There are situations I should try to resolve.

Should I go on? Im sure I could.

If I wanted to be stressed, I could be ... but I refuse to dwell there. 

I made progress on my lesson planning. 

I made copies.

I made great contacts with parents.

I played with the girls. 

A load of laundry only needs put away.

The bathrooms are wiped down.

Everyone is fed and happy. 

I have a wonderful support system that saw my girls and I through the week.

We have fun plans for the weekend.

In-between fun moments, I'll put away the dishes and wipe down the counters. The girls will help me dust. A trip to the feed store, we all enjoy. Groceries will be gotten. Laying out clothes only takes a few minutes.

Things will get done. A little at a time, in-between playing baby dolls and helping with art projects, in-between family moments, step by step. Some things will be done, and then need done again, like leaves and laundry and dishes ... And the. They will get done again. 

When I focus on the positives, when I focus on our joy and my priorities, the rest falls back into it's place. 

There is always something I "should" be doing. 

There is also always something that can wait. 

Perspective and priority = peace. Things aren't perfect, but there are near perfect things. 

Enjoy the weekend. Breath. Life is happy and good and blessed. 

It doesn't take away the to do list, but it does minimize the stress.

Be Where Your Feet Are

"Focus Kate" I told myself. "Be present". 

There was a decision that feels big circling round in my head, a couple of friends weighing on my heart, a new report card and way to import grades consuming my mind, at least 3 emails that desperately needed responses, a text from a fellow teacher with a question they were hoping I'd answer quickly, and 18 kids looking at me waiting for class to start.

Its moments like those that are hard ... When there are a million paperwork-y, secretarial, behind the scenes parts of teaching that need my attention ... And a classroom full of kids who need it more. 

So, I chose a student leader to kick off class with good news. While they finished, I fired off a text with a plan I hoped would get my teacher friend's problem solved enough she could keep going with her day. I picked up the read aloud book and walked to the carpet. I looked at my feet for a moment to ground myself,took a deep breath, and started read aloud time. 

You see, I read a book a whole back called "Be Where Your Feet Are". It's all about being focuses and present in the moment so that you can take care of the job at hand. And thank goodness it came to mind today. 

In teaching, but also in the world and life in general, there are usually a million and three things on our minds. We all have more jobs than we can count. But the most important one HAS to be the one at hand. For me, today, it was my classroom full of kids. 

The decision weighing on me? It's one my team and I will process and make together. The paper work,emails, and grading card changes? They patiently waited on my desk until lunch time and then again paused patiently until after school. But those kids in front of me? They needed their teachers full attention in the moment. And so that's where my focus needed to be. 

I like things to be done and decided and wrapped up in neat little bows. I can multitask with the best of them. But I've learned that most of the time the best way to get things done well is to tackle them one at a time - starting with what is right infront of me. 

"Be where your feet are" has become a mantra repeated in my head that helps keeps my priorities and my focus in check. It doesn't rule out all multitasking (mom and teacher means multitasking is a necessity to say the least). But it does help remind me that I can't take on everything at once. I have to move through things patiently and give each thing - especially the "things" that happen to be my personal and school kiddos - the focus and attention it deserves when I'm working on it even if that means other things have to simply wait. After all, they'll get their turn when they are the thing in front of me. 

It isnt always easy (today it was straight up hard), but once I've fought through the fog and found my focus, its always way less stressful (and things always work out better when I'm able) to truly be in the same place my feet are in. 

Even During A Week Like This

This week has been full of three of the Mondayest days ever. I don't know exacy how that's possible, but trust me, it is. It's been long, it's been real, it's been exhausting ... And the week isn't over yet.

Its days like these that make getting out at 7:00 in the evening HARD. And sometimes - ahem, tonight - it's tempting to just stay in.

But then I remeber: I've never been sorry I went to church.

I've been exhausted enough to think about not going. I've been stressed and busy enough to think of other ways to use the time. I've been plum "mmmooommmmyyyy-ed out" enough I'd rather put the girls to bed and have quiet time rather than wrangle them more...

But even on those hardest to get out the door evenings, I've never been sorry that we pushed through.

Many times I've left rejuvenated by a good lesson. Often I've left greatful for a bit of good conversation and extra love. Usually, I leave with my priorities rebalanced and my head a little clearer. Always I'm glad I was there. 

There is something about being with 'my people' and worshiping God together that is simply wonderful. There is no substitute for it - even during a week that has felt 18 weeks long. Especially on a week that has felt 18 weeks long. 

How thankful am I for a place to gather, people to learn, worship, and love with, the chance to visit with friends, and a midweek reminder of all the good surrounding me.

Some Dropped Balls Bounce

Today, I dropped the ball. I forgot it was show and telland therefore, L went to school show and tell less. 

We'd made a plan of what to take on the way home last night.i even knew right where the thing she wanted was. But as so often happens, we walked in the door, and life happened. It was snacks and jammies and bedtime, and show and tell flew right out of my brain. 

I say "I" dropped the ball, because even though I tell her things like "You'll have to put it in your backpack" and "It's your job to make sure...." I really mean "we" and "our" because this girl of mine is 5 and figuring out how to be a school age kiddo is a thing we're in together. 

And so, when I remembered towards the end of the day, I held my breath and thought "I hope she saves the meltdown for me and doesn't share it with her teacher". And then, after school, I saw her .... And she didn't even mention it.

Free pass? No such luck.

Later while playing Legos it came out:"Mom! You forgot show and tell. It's every Friday and you forgot." ...."Yes, we forgot" I corrected "We didn't get it put in your backpack this morning,did we. I'm sorry that happened."

She looked at me ... She added some more Legos to her creation ...and she sighed "Well, let's try to remeber next week okay? 'Cause I like show and tell."

And that was it. Not the first,most important thing she remembered from the day ... No scarring childhood drama ...just a mildly insulting moment with a little disappointment. 

Thank goodness this dropped ball seems to have been made out of rubber instead of glass. Thank goodness children are (mostly) understanding little people filled with grace. Thank goodness she is usually able to breath through and move on. Because goodness knows it won't be the last time I (or we) drop a ball. Goodness knows it won't be the last time she's disappointed. 

And though sometimes the fact that she's realizing Momma isn't perfect comes with comments like "Mom, Dad really drives the trick better than you do." and "Well *my teacher* says it this way...", I sure am glad that she's starting to grasp that she and I need each other I this wild ride of life. I have a feeling she's going to keep being an increasingly awesome chaos survival teammate.

The Prayer Of A Child

My girls are always inspiring me to be more and better. Lately I've been loving listening to them (and Emma and Connor) pray. And, oh, how I'm striving to pray like a child. 

To be excited enough to exclaim "I want to!" evey time praying is mentioned.

To always pray for the things I'm thankful for such as "my daddy got off work" and "everyone feels better now" and sometimes even "Thankyou for my Nana, Papa, Mommy, Daddy, Grandma Betty, Grandpa Pail, Grandma Pat etc....". 

To always be bettering my prayers by paying attention to those around me who pray and the Godly things that are talked about and incorporate them into my prayers as I grow.

And, to always pray, even when I don't know  exactly what to say. Because goodness knows the simple statement of "help my friends and help our days" is as powerful an utterance as anything I can think to say. 

Transition Woes

Sometimes ... Okay, all toooo often, I feel like we're living life in constant "hurry up" mode. Hurry up and finish eating. Hurry up and get dressed. Pick up your toys, quickly please! And, for goodness sake, just get in the car!

What I'm learning, finally (guess I'm a slow learner), is that rushing rarely gets us anywhere quicker. Turns out my little people don't "hurry up" very well. Hurry up = dropping things and then having to stop and pick them up. Hurry up = frustration because "I can't do it" and "it won't buckle" and "I wanted to do it myself!". Hurry up = tears and grumpy starts instead of peace. 

And that falls on me. 

Sometimes ... Okay, all toooo often, I forget the power my Momma self has in setting the mood of our house. 

I am good at slowing down and enjoying the moment ... Except in transition times. I like a smooth, easy, time efficient transition. But, as it turns out, transitions are HARD and a graceful one is a skill that has to be nurtured. Nurtured ... Not rushed. 

For my little people it means a call for "everybody choose your last thing on the playground" a few minutes before "go time" gets us to the car a lot faster than a yelled "I said it's time to go, now!" And for my opnionates 😳 fashionistas it means sometimes offering two shirt choices so they can decide. A lot of times it means Momma takes a deep breath while they practice buckling themselves when my first impulse is just to do it for them - because a fit over lost independence slows us down and independent bucklers (eventually) speeds us up. 

Most of the time it requires a mind shift on my part. A shift of starting a few minutes earlier than I thought "a few minutes early" meant. A shift from "I can't be late" to "Let's do this so that we can be on time and happy". It means I have to take a step back from my rushed mindset and instead making up my mind to calmly move us toward the goal.

Oh, I'm not saying I give in always ... There are plenty of "we don't have time to do that now"s and multiple "This time mommy has to buckle you fast, next time you can do it by yourself." And goodness knows I'll probably always be telling them "we need to move a little quicker" every now and then. 

But at the end of the day, there is nowhere we go that is more important than how we get there, and I'd always rather show up on the dot and with a happy peaceful family than early with a grumpy frazzled one. 

Thankful For A Known Heart

 Last night Raina was up from 11:30 pm - 4 am. 

Here is a list of things she wanted:

     - yogurt

     - juice, but not in that cup

     - chocolate milk

     -  bandaid

     -  a different bandaid

     - for me to stand up to hold her

     -  a song, but definitely not that song

     - to go outside

     - NOT to take medicine

     - NOT to have anti-itch cream put on her feet t         that were itching

     - pretty much anything else slightly irrational

She was uncomfortable. Incredibly. Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease will do that to you (poor girl) and she simply didn't have the words to tell me the things that were bothering her. So, she strove to find comfort the way she knew how ... by crying and screaming asking for anything she thought of that might make her feel better.

She was difficult because she didn't even know what she wanted or needed. We were trying to figure that out together.

It was frustrating to not know what she truly needed and I felt helpless (and also really, really, sleepy) as I tried to provide her with some comfort and rest.

As I started to get frustrated with all of her demands that weren't actually what she needed (the outside cat did NOT need to come eat yogurt with her. For real.), it made me think of how many times I have been upset about something that wasn't actually what I was upset about - like just yesterday morning when I'd been short with Rob for no good reason because I was frustrated about something else. AND all the times I have wanted someone to fix something, or help me with something, but had no idea what I even needed to ask for. Thank goodness God doesn't get frustrated and short tempered with me.

How thankful am I for a God who knows my heart, and what I need, even when I don't (Mt. 6:8 - "...for your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.") and for the ability to go to Him in prayer at any time - even at times when all I can pray for is peace and strength because I can't specifically identify the "rest" of what I need. 

Raina did eventually doze (somewhat restlessly) from 4-7 after medicine (and exhaustion) won out, and she seems much better and more settled this morning and is back to happily torturing her cat I let her bring inside for a little while.

So, this morning I am extra thankful for answer prayers and a patient God who understands my heart.

In My Own Head

The transition back to school is always exhausting. By 4:00 pm the first day my legs ached and I couldn't get to bed fasts enough that night. Thankfully our bodies are made for adjustments and I fairly quickly pass through the physical exhaustion stage of the back to school adjustment. 

But the mental adjustment? It's. The. Worst. 

Sometimes referred to as "the mental work load", all the thoughts swirling in my head have the potential to drive me ... Well, out of my mind. 

There are suddenly (I mean, I knew it was coming ... But still...) 18 billion things I need to remember. Just today I was finishing up lesson plans. Lesson planning always comes with mental notes of how I can modify things for students who will struggle ... And trying to anticipate what the struggles could be for students I barely know at this point in the year. Since these lesson plans are for week 4 (to keep up with our "plan 2 weeks ahead" rule) I also needed to review (and hold in my head) lesson plans for this coming week (week 2). During this review I realized Id neglected to read something I need to for tomorrow night's meeting, so I printed it (because I'm tired of my computer screen). 

While it's printing I started a load of laundry so everyone would have clean clothes ... And since now Raina would have the pair of shorts she wanted to wear, I was able to lay out the girls clothes for the week. Meanwhile, Lydia informed me she would really not like to eat the school lunch tomorrow, so I stopped to pack lunches. That, of course, led to grocery store list additions because I always worry about not having enough to put in her lunch (that she'll eat). AND wondering if I have enough snacks/drinks in my classroom for Lydia's breakfasts and after school snacks.

Somewhere along the way I washed a few dishes, cleared the dining room table, fed our animals, and stopped to redirect and play with the girls a few times. The girls are restless and tired which leads to guilt driven feelings of "I'm working to much - need to stop to interact". 

Today, plans also needed finalized on who/how Lydia is heading out with tomorrow after school since I have a meeting and we had a search party for Raina's doll. I'm still deciding if I need help getting Raina picked up on time another day this week when I have a hair appointment (that I'll hopefully remeber to go to).

There's also thoughts of: Is the Church bag ready with the girls notebooks inside? Did I need to replinish their stickers? Is my Bible class lesson ready for Wednesday night? Did I need to pick up new glue sticks for that? Do I need to put something else quiet in since the girls will be extra tired?

I do not at all mind the actual "doing" of all (or any?) of the things. It is the REMEMBERING. The remembering to have it all together for myself so that I can focus and function and show up prepared to things. It is the remembering to have everything for the girls so they can focus and function happily. Thank goodness Rob does most of his own remembering, but even so, part of my brain is trying to remeber what he has coming up so that I can anticipate his needs or at least remeber to ask him about it later in our attempts at adult conversation. 

None of it's necessarily bad. Furthermore, it DOES settle, at least somewhat,  (let's say, the 2nd month of school?). But people, it's exhausting. 

When a teacher (or any other working anyone 🤷🏼‍♀️) says their tired (especially if that teacher is also a mom) it's not from physically working. Teaching is fun! It's from all the remembering and analyzing and anticipating. It's from all the thought and all the worries.

I'm not even complaining ... More like, acknowledgeing. It's real. We feel it. I feel it. Be aware of it - especially the fact that other people you love are probably dealing with it. 

It's the mental workload. And it's exhausting. 

Seasons

Once upon a time Robbie and I were incredibly busy people. Then we had Lydia. ....and I wondered what we'd even been doing with all our time before becoming parents. 

Then we added a second child. And whoa. Clearly I hadn't known what "busy" meant before. And, last summer when we added tball practice and tball games I was reminded that someday both the girls will be involved in things, and I'm sure I'll look back on this time and laugh at my 'Im so busy' self. 

The thing is, we go through seasons. From our own status (single - married - parents and school - job) to life's ups and downs and the way we are functioning because of them. And goodness knows our kids (and therefore us...) go through seasons that vary from easy to  "whoa, what were we thinking".

The thing about seasons is they don't last. They stay a while, and then they change - fleeting and often without much notice. Sometimes those changes are hard faught, other times were saddened to see them end. It just depends on the season. 

So when my slight addiction to "browsing Etsy" led me to these, I knew I wanted this reminder. 

It's going to live on my laptop where I'll see it almost every day so that it can remind me: this season, happy or sad or somewhere in-between ... It's going to pass just like all the other seasons before it. Lydia will only have this one season of being a new kindergarten. Raina is beginning a season of getting to do daycare with her cousins and some other awesome kiddos. I will only have this one season with my new group of school kiddos (and hopefully only this one season that involves Covid-19). 

None of these seasons will last. But also, none of them will be wasted. Not unless we let them be. There is something in every season (often multiple something's) that makes me better for the next season. That's a God thing. But those things only take effect if I let them - if I'm paying attention and willing to be molded and "bettered".

So here's to this season - whatever one I've caught you in. Don't let it be wasted. 

Keep Moving

Sometime during mud season ... I mean, spring ... we took a walk out at the farm to see the calves. As we ventured through a particularly muddy section of the woods my cousin said "I don't know where to put my foot so my boot won't sink down". My mom's reply was "Just keep moving, because if you stand still for to long you'll sink down for sure." 

Sometimes, you just have to keep moving forward.

You may not know the exact right path. You may not have all the answers. You may even misstep and have to backtrack or correct. But I promise you, if you stand still for to long, you'll sink down in the mud ... And having a boot stuck makes it a whole lot harder to move forward 

Today, we had back to school convocation. We sat differently than we ever had. We wore masks. Our conversations were new and focused on issues we wouldn't have anticipated even last fall. 

We took the best information we have and made the best plans we can. And, though the best laid plans are always subject to change, I am so thankful to be in a place where the people are willing to do their best to always move forward in the best direction we have to go. 

Nesting

"Do you want to get dressed and go to Mommy's classroom?"

"Um. Maybe later we do that. How bout you come lay in my nest?!"

....and that folks, is quite possibly how Raina feels about the back to school adjustment that's coming up ... You know ... Tomorrow. 😳

She's nesting. Literally. Burrowing in. Snuggle buddies, her favorite blankets, and, well, home. She's burrowing in to home.

If ever I complained about being "stuck" at home (I have, I'm sure, because it's often hard) ... I regret it in moments like these ...because these are Raina's favorite things: her baby dolls, snuggle buddies, and blankets piled in Sissy's room, and momma to lay in the nest with her.

These are the things I'll be hurrying us home to at the end of each day and these slow mornings are the things I'll be cherishing a little extra when we get to sneak them. Routine is good. Getting back to our people is more than good. But time at home together? That's the best of all.

Sharpies and Silverware

I was organizing my desk drawers at school and came across a few gold sharpies a retiring teacher had given me. The card attached said something like "For a teacher as good as gold." I wish I'd saved that card! 

I've kept those sharpies and every time I use them - or any other gold marker, I think of Mrs. Orlando and her note. While I was (and am!) thankful she thought of me and for the compliment, what these sharpies remind me of is the challenge, or call to rise, that I think was intended with her words. She told me I was good teacher so that I would remember to be a good teacher ... And maybe remember to add a little gold sparkle, too. 

When Robbie and I got married we registered for one set of silverware. Mrs. McIntosh got us two sets and the card attached said something about "You always need extra when your hostessing." .....I hadn't hosted anything of my own yet and her note was, I believe, a challenge ... a call to rise. It was her reminder that she expected I would be having people into my home and helping to continue a community tradition of hospitality.

I don't always live up to the legacy either of these ladies (or the many others that have poured into me) have left,  but I am always thankful for the reminders to strive to be what they thought I could. How lucky I am to have people who expect me to be better than I am - or at least to be the best version of myself? For if ever I doubt, I can draw on their promise that I am capable and that it's all worth the effort.

Iron Guy #Goals

The other day I hurried across the yard towards the swingset at my Mom and Dad's where four kiddos needed pushes with an Iron Man doll stuck in my pocket. 

I probably wouldn't have thought much about it had it not been for my brother-in-law joking "I bet you never thought you'd be caring an Iron Man doll around in your pocket." We chuckled, joked about *goals*, and went about the evening.

As I put Iron Man safely on Raina's dresser that evening I laughed to myself. After all, I'm sure not many people make life goals concerning Barbie sized Iron Man dolls. 

However, the reason I was carrying Iron Man in the first place was because Raina currently loves him (who knows why 🤷🏼‍♀️) and carries "Iron Guy" everywhere. As her cousins went running to the swingset she needed her hands free to keep up but couldn't bear the idea of leaving him behind ... And so, Mom got to carry him. 

No, I never had a goal about carrying Iron Man ... or, honestly, about carrying all my kids stuff everywhere even when my hands are full of my own stuff 🙄 ... BUT being the keeper of the special things? The momma trusted to keep a loved object safe? Maybe that has been one of my life goals. 

Maybe sometimes in the hustle and bustle, in the day to day laundry, dishes, toy pick ups and floor sweeping, maybe sometimes I forget that taking care of my home and my family ARE my life goals.

Maybe in those moments when the dog is barking and one girls crying and another is begging and Rob needs an extra hand and I can physically (and exhausted-ly) feel how much I am needed I sometimes forget that being needed by these people IS one of my life goals.

Maybe when a kid ... or two ... Is saying "Mommy" over and over and over again not because they actually need anything but just because they want my attention, maybe sometimes I forget that being wanted by them IS an awesome life goal.

Because this family, and this life we're so blessed to be living, has been my life goal for most of my life. Pushing swings, tickle fights, bedtime snuggles, and all the emotionally exhausting moments in-between are what I've worked hard for. They are what I'll keep working hard for. 

So, I'll carrying Iron Man any time I'm asked ... and  pray I don't drop him, or mess any more important part of these life goals up. ♥️

Fillings and Rough Edges

I sat at the dentist today getting a filling. It's not a spot high on my "favorite places and things" list for sure. Yet, here I found myself. I sat patiently through the numbing shot and let it take effect (bleh). I managed to "relax" through the drilling and filling. But, by the time the dentist was putting on the finishing touches and grinding my new filling smooth, I was getting quite done. The grinding sound rang in my head, my jaw was tired of being open, and I found myself *willing* the dentist to declare my tooth "good enough" so I could just be done. 

At some point I realized the sillyness of getting aggravated at the final moments. After all, if I could make it through all the rest, why give up at the moments meant to make my filling better match my other teeth and be smooth enough to not hurt? Certainly I could sit still for 2 more minutes.

And, as I sat there, this thought occured to me: Getting a tooth filled could surely be related to our spiritual lives somehow. 

See, normally my least favorite part of dental work is the numbing shot. It hurts because, well, I'm not numb yet. It's also terrible because I know it's going to make me uncomfortable for some amount of time. 

When we first realize we need to turn to God, it is often through some sort of uncomfortable moment, thought process, or turn of events. It shakes us ... It might even hurt ... But it sets us up for what's to come.

Once numb, the dentist can do whats needed because I'm only *sort* of feeling it. When we are newling on fire for God we are willing to make big changes because we're excited and passionate. We're willing to put ourselves out there because we have new and wonderful things to share. We shrug off any slight discomfort, secure in the fact that "it's worth it".

But somewhere along the way during the dental process I get tired of sitting there holding my mouth open. The finishing works starts feeling a bit like torture and I just plain ole get tired of it. Im tempted to settle for "good enough" in an effort for more comfort and ease.

How often in my spiritual life have I gotten a bit tired of the "finishing work"? Have I been tempted to settle for good enough just so I didn't have to work as hard? Just so I could be more comfortable? Have I wished the trials that I know make me stronger would just ... Quit? 

Sure I have. But goodness knows I'm not anywhere close to perfect yet, and so even though sometimes I wish against it, I am thankful the trials will continue to smooth out my rough edges.

It'd be a shame if my cavity had just gotten bigger or if a bad, uneven filling job ruined my teeth.

It'd be worse if my rough spots kept me out of heaven someday. 

Spending the Present

We are officially entering the weird part of summer where my brain feels in limbo. I start half obsessively thinking about school and half obsessively attempting to hang on to (and squeeze the most out of) summer.

And let me tell you, this year's unknowns are not helping my issue any. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Literally my brain:

I should type up my class lists. No I shouldn't because it's bound to change so much. I should think about how I want my room arranged since I have more kiddos than last year. No I shouldn't ... I may be told more specifics about how I need to set up my tables. I should make a check in/lunch choice board. No I shouldn't, that would just be one more thing for kids to touch. Why am I not playing with the girls? I need to make sure the swimsuits are packed for Nana's house. Yes, yes we can go play outside. But then I need to work on Google Classroom. Just kidding, our classes aren't ready quite yet, so I'll just get some other work done.

It's ridiculous. And it's really anti who I want to be. I want to be present, not preoccupied. I want to soak up moments, not miss them because I'm absoarbed thinking about things I can't even really take care of yet. I DO want to be ready and I seriously value planning ahead ... But I also want to take problems as they come and fully appreciate the situations that I am currently in. Because, after all, "each day has enough trouble of it's own" (Mt. 6:34). 

Sooo, here's to enjoying my moments and being present in them. Here's to not stressing about things that are yet to unfold. And, here's to spending my time well ... Because I don't have enough of it to waste any. 

Hard Hearted

The story of Moses and Pharoh is probably one of the more famous Old Testament Bible stories. Most have heard "Let my people go" and know of the plagues God brought in Egypt even if we can't always name them all or in order. 

It's often amazed me how long it took Pharoh to let the Israelites free (you know, for the short time before he attempted to chase them down). His story certainly makes a solid case for stubbornness ... But more than stubbornness, his story is one of hard heartedness. 

See, whenever we hear ... well .. anything, we react to it. God's word is no different. When we hear it - when we read it - we react to it some way. Now, maybe we react with joy and emotion. Maybe we react by internalizing it and trying to do what it says. But maybe we react to it by rolling our eyes. Maybe we react in anger. Maybe we react by thinking "sure hope ____ was listening to that". Maybe we react by decisively not reacting in an attempt to ignore. But, we always, always, react.

So here's what hit me tonight: Sometimes I harden my heart. Sometimes I don't let myself be affected by God's word they way I should. Sometimes by distraction, sometimes by choice, I hear God's word or read God's word and walk away changing nothing. Sometimes I even allow myself to think "I knew all that" or "I've got that part down."

How dangerous. 

Folks, I am thankful to be confident in my salvation. I so desire to live my life so that I can feel sure in my souls eternal destination. But there is a line. It lies somewhere between confident and overconfident and just like many other lines, it is sometimes hard to spot.

I want my heart to be secure in my salvation - always - period. But I also want my heart to be soft, moldable, and affected by God's word - always - period period. 

Because when my heart stops being affected and responsive to God's word ... Well, then I better start to reexamine my confidence level pretty quickly. So, here's to a softer heart ... Because a  hard heart can cloud your vision a bit I'm certain .... And I don't even have to learn that the hard way like Pharoh did. 

*Thoughts from a couple of recent sermons collided here. You can listen to them here!*

Breath.

A letter to myself (and maybe you, too):

Take. A . Breath. 

And then maybe another three. 

In fact, feel free to KEEP breathing (you know, as deeply as your mask will allow 😉).

We are about to send our teachers and kids back into the classroom.  Everyone's prepping for it now. Many have been prepping for it for months now. And here are a few things I think we just need to get out in the open right now:

There are going to be new policies and procedures that you don't like. 

There are going to be problematic situations that arise. Many of these will, legitimately, have no great solution.

There are going to be people that think differently than you - and probably a few that don't appear thinking at all. 

It is going to be hard and feel different and sometimes uncomfortable. 

You are going to have to work hard, and think harder.

Everyone will be tired. Emotions will likely run high. 

So: 

Pause before you answer. Pause before you talk. Pause before you let your facial expression out to be seen (okay, that may be one benefit to my new mask I'll be wearing...). Pause. 

Pause and pray. Pause and check.

Check if your tone of voice makes what you're about to say hearable. While you're at it, check if what you're about to say is worth being said. 

Check if you've thought the problem through and thought about it from more than just your side ... because that's whats going to be necessary. 

Check and see if it you're thinking through the problem and possible solutions aloud or just whining. Oh, we'll all need a good vent every now and then ... But make sure your "vent group" is ready for a good vent and move forward session. And then don't forget the "move forward" part.

Check and see if you're focusing on the bad, or focusing on what you can do to make it as good as possible. 

Check and see if your attitude is in line with what God would have it to be. People, He didn't promise ease. But He did promise a life after this life that's better. So don't let this current hardship trip you up or throw you off your path.

Check and see if you're friends are okay. Some things are harder for some. Check and see who can handle your sarcasm and laugh and who needs your tender approach and patience. Check on the newbie, check on the veteran. Check in and offer what peace you can help find. Because if we've ever all been in this together, we certainly need to be now.

Check if you're remebering to breath through the problem, before you address the problem, and certainly before you address anyone else in the midst of what you perceive to be a problem.

Just breath. Please. Because everything seems a little better when you aren't suffocating. 

Suit Up

You guys. This. All of this.

There's a million political discussions happening and I desperately want Christians to be a part of them. However, I want those Christians to remember that they are not merely a Republican, a Democrat, a Libertarian, or an anything else .... they are, first and foremost, a Christian. Spoiler alert: no political group is infallible and no politician worth following blindly as if they were perfect .... Because, well, they are human. So, be a Christian ... Think through things and people like a Christian, and then filter what you say and post (and think), like a Christian.

There's a hundred things happening. There are protest, there are riots, there are government responses, there are closures, there are openings, there are city ordinances ... There are people making different decisions than you. Guess whose making all those decisions from the one to riot to the one to require masks? Humans. So, be a Christian ... Think through things and people like a Christian, and then filter what you say, and post (and think), like a Christian. 

Wear a mask. Don't wear a mask. Choose not to go to stores that are requiring masks. Shop everyehere. Stay home and order grocery delivery. BUT make your decisions based on Godly thought and then go about your business in a Godly way.

Because when Ephesians 6:12 says "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rules of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." we aren't talking about specific political parties or government figures, certain groups or businesses or policies. Now, could Satan be using those things? Well, sure! That's why Christians need to be thoughtful and watchful and ready to act. But do you know where Satan attacks us more often? Where most of the battles we fight happen? In our own hearts. So, do you know where most of our armouring up needs to happen and where a whole lot of our focus needs to be? You guessed it ... In our own hearts. 

Eph. 6:14 talks about the belt of truth and the breastplate of righteousness. Truth = Biblical truth. You know, the kind not often gleaned from a Facebook meme. Righteousness = morally right. Guess where our morals are supposed to be coming from? 

Vs. 15 mentions that our feet should be shod with "the preparation of the gospel of peace". This peace does not negate our responsibility to stand up for gospel truth when necessary, but it should always govern the way in which we stand, and the motivation behind our stance.

Vs.16 mentions the shield of faith ... Faith that keeps us grounded so we don't get swept up in the devil's schemes ... Even the ones that show themselves through wordlh modes and tempt us to respond to ideas and people with ungodly thoughtlessness. Faith that keeps us steadfast and graceful even we have to take fire for our beliefs and stances.

Vs 17 mentions the helmet of salvation ...  salvation that is our hope and our goal above anything else. AND then goes on to mention Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Now that's not say we can't listen to science, and pay attention to leaders ... But we better be checking all the information and opinions against God's word before making them our own. 

And vs 18-19? "Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints - and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel." Praying all the time. For ourselves. For situations. For others. For each other. And, for the boldness to speak, the wisdom to choose our timing, approach, our words, and our quiet times, so that God's word can be shared, but also, heard. So that we can be Christians ... Thinking through things and people like Christians, filtering what we say, post, and think the way God would have us do. 

The Meaning of a "Yes"

"One thing I think many moms find difficult is the fact that every yes us by definition also a no. A yes to time watching summersaults in the backyard is a no to a phone call, a glance through a magazine, or a bit if alone time. A yes to asking friends over for a time of encouragement is a no to free time you might have spent on yourself, rather than cleaning the bathroom, organizing your notes for the evening, or baking cookies to share. Yes to the car pool means no to sleeping in; yes to playing during bath time means no to your favorite television show ... And on and on it goes." -- Sally Clarkson from "Mom Heart Moments" (Which is a fantastic daily devotional I am enjoying reading thanks to a wonderful Christian lady who passed it my way!).

Ooohhh how hard this thought hits me. Frequently. Sometimes when I'm choosing between pleasures, when a yes to an extra long shower meant a no to sleeping in. But it also hits when I'm chosing between "things to do" and struggling to prioritize....when a yes to working outside means a no to cleaning inside. And it hits sooo often where my kiddos are concerned and a yes to going swimming means a no to doing laundry. And sometimes, sometimes it happens even when I'm choosing between very important things and a yes to helping someone with something means a no to quality time with my girls.

Sally Clarkson goes on in her devotional reading to remind me that "When we spread ourselves thin, leaving no time for snuggles and back rubs, Bible study and reading deeply, family vacations and Saturday afternoons at the park, our influence becomes diluted." 

And how true it is. When I run crazy all day and am impatient with my girls in the evening ... We're my "yes"s worth the "no"s? When I commit myself to toooo many things and end up feeling resentful or stressed..... Well, you get the idea.

I am NOT a stay at home and hole up person. I almost always encourage doing for others. BUT. But sometimes, we have to pause. Sometimes we have to reevaluate - check our priorities - and make certain that we are using our time. Spending it well on what's important to us, not waisting it on a million other things.

....and if you want to read more about how important consciously spending your time is, you can read about that in a throwback post, here. 😉

Not Okay

There's a package on its way to my house that I'm not excited to open. It's full of masks. Cute masks I ordered for Lydia to wear to school in August. Cute masks I hope will make the idea that she'll probably be asked to wear one a little less uncomfortable.

I will not be okay opening that box. Oh, I'll smile and talk about cute they are, sure. But the truth is, I will absolutely hate the "sales pitch" I give her ... mostly because I think the whole situation is just ... Not at all okay.

It's not okay that my daughter will have to be physically uncomfortable while walking to class each day. And masks are not comfortable.

It's not okay that she'll try to find her friends by only seeing half their faces.

It's not okay that she'll get to know her teachers by only seeing their eyes and a mask.

It's not okay that she'll notice who has a cute mask instead of who has a nice smile.

Furthermore, it's not okay that we have a whole generation of kids we are teaching not to get close to people. Don't shake hands. Don't touch. Don't hug. Don't even share a space. 

It's not okay that they are seeing people everywhere with only the expressions eyes can portray.

It's not okay kids won't know how to act in public places because they aren't *going* to public places.

It's not okay kids are missing out on experiences.

It's not okay that they are learning to be suspicious of others and their germs rather than friendly to those they meet. 

It's just not okay.

Oh, I get it. 

I get all the germs and sickness and caution. But the side effects of our caution? Oy vey.

I don't want to argue about if its worth it in the short term. I certainly don't feel prepared to examine the long term. 

I DO know that schools and teachers and parents everywhere will do what they can to make things as good for kids and students as possible.

But I also know that where our kids are concerned ... None of this is really okay.  

Discretion

Before I had kids I really thought I was a busy person. Now that I have kids, I wonder what I even thought I was spending my time doing before. 

Many times I have thought there was a lot going on in our world. Right now, there is enough happening to make 6 months ago look like a "boring" time. Ha.

With so much going on there are a million thoughts and opinions going through my head. There are a hundred things I could say or write. And yet, I haven't written any yet - and I've been very careful who I've talked to them about.

I am not scared to share my thoughts. My opinions are mine for thought out reasons and I stand by them. HOWEVER, when so much happening on in our world, emotions run high. Emotions that cause others to take our words (spoken and written both) and twist them. I don't think the twising is even (always) intentional ... when emotions run high and perceptions differ hugely, it is hard to SAY or write something and have it HEARD or read the same, intended, way.

It's a human nature thing we all have to be careful about - our own bais infiltrates the things we hear and see AS we are hearing and seeing it and influences how we receive it. Our emotions even keep us from being able to hear and process things people say to us. It's why teaching kids what bias is, and how to research carefully, is such an improtant task.

It's also why, sometimes, it's better for me to keep my opinions and thoughts close to me and carefully shared. It's called discretion. And I'm both constantly working on it myself and trying to teach its fine art to my girls.

Discretion often impacts how I act. It also impacts what I say and how I say it. It means I don't often go around telling people that I think they are wrong just because their opinion differs from mine (unless there is a Biblical reason I need to stand up or against for something). It's why I don't always say what I sometimes want to say. And it's certainly why I don't always type and post the first thoughts that come to my mind ... Or even the second or third ones. 

One of the awesome things about freedom is I have the freedom to persue happiness instead of conflict. I won't shy from a disagreement or discussion that needs to happen .... But I also try to be careful not to go around inciting arguments and eye rolls. 

There's a balance. It involves a lot more listening that it does talking and a lot more reading and research than it does typing and posting. It requires deciding what battles need fought and what things can be let go. For me it also often involves discussions with those who know me and whom I know before discussions with peopel whom I have no relational capacity. And, it most definitely involves deciding what things need to be said and shared and then a whole lot of prayerful thought about how and when to say those things so that they can be as well received as possible.

It's called discretion ... And it isn't always easy, but it's always worthwhile. 

Daughter(s)

She's as sweet as she is sour

As brave as she is scared

And depending on what hour

You'll find quite the gammit there.

A princess in frilly dresses

Necklaces and rings galore

And then she's shorts and cowboy boots

Playing in the mud some more.

She stares in wonder out at nature

Stands in awe of butterflies

Will take on all adventure

And ask a hundred million "why's"

Sometimes she stands so obstinste

Just her against your plan

Yet before you have time to ponder it

Off with giggles she has ran.

Oh, you'll shake your head a time or two

But your heart will burst with pride

Watching her through all she grows to do

Will fill you with love each time.

 

The "Big Kids"

My girls are blessed with an awesome family all the way around. They have grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and "surrogate" family to many to count.

But there is a special group - a uniquely awesome group - that I've probably taken for granted much toooo often. 

.              (pictures courtesy of Lydia 😉)

These "big kids", as Lydia calls them, have turned into young adults way quicker than I could have ever imagined ... And as they grow and graduate and move on to new adventures, it makes me pause to realize how blessed we are to have them around.

This crew lugs around my kiddos - and always has. They've carried on-the-verge-of-meltdown kiddos who didn't want to leave a fun place to my car more times than I can count. Often they've taken pity on me trying to visit with another adult and whisked my girls away to entertain them without ever being asked. 

They help fix plates are dinner time, push swings, offer hugs and tickles a plenty. Goodness knows they've ran their share of races. Sometimes they even dress up as the Easter Bunny for me.

.  (It's Isaac in the suit here .. Sam has been too!)

They've been dragged on many trips and never (audibly) complain. They swim in cold water so I don't have to and can keep the littles laughing and playing for an amazing amount of time.

They've embraced many activities for the sake of my kids that other teens might have rolled their eyes at. 

And often they even let little hands help open their presents.

They've given my kids bottles and had baby food and toys thrown at them. They tell my kids "no" and "stop" when needed and settle toddler squabbles like champs. They embrace our chaos and laugh at our noise. They rarely say "no" to being followed around, and while I'm certain we drive them crazy at times, they keep coming back around ... And if that's because their parents drag them, they hide it well with the amount of love they freely give.

Most importantly, they are the best role models around. My kids see them at church. They see them jump to help others without being asked. They see them hug their grandma and shake hands with strangers. They see them lead prayers, sing in choir, march in band, play sports, and get recognized for good grades. 

And my girls idolize them. They want to be with them and they want to BE them. Time with them is the coolest thing going and I've dried tears many times over them going to college and that "we won't see them all the time" 😳

I like to think we're good for them too. We sure enjoy cheering them on in all their exploits. And, someday, when they are awesome parents who aren't scared of spit-up and tantrums, they'll have us (at least partially) to thank - ha.

But the truth is, my girls are getting way more given to them by this crew than they may ever have the chance to repay. And so am I. So, our squeals of delight when we see them coming, our hugs and (sometimes slobbery) kisses, and hand drawn pictures will have to be our thankyou for now. 

Well, that, and the promise that I'm doing my best to raise my little kids to be at least almost as awesome big kids to a new generation of littles someday. ♥️

Bible Class

Ever since the Covid scare began to take force enough that church had to change some, my girls have been missing Bible class. I'm thankful that our congregation was able to continue meeting (though with heavy accomodations for a time) so we didn't miss out completely on gathering with the saints, but every single Sunday (and sometimes multiple times on a Sunday) I'm answering the question "Do we get to go to class today?"

 My girls love church. They love seeing their family and friends. They love singing. They love the idea of worshiping God. If we took out that whole me telling them to be quiet for parts thing, they would love it even more.

They don't not love the "quiet time" parts because they are bad kids ... They feel that way because they are little kids and don't yet understand all the quiet parts. Sermons are mostly over their heads (though Lydia is getting big enough to catch stories from some) and they aren't always able to attend to a long prayer. It's why having them there is so important to me - so that they can learn these pieces as they grow. 

But, I think that's why they love, and miss, class so much. In class, they DO get all the parts. The stories are told on their level. The activities engage their busy hands. The songs stick in their hearts and make them think. It's Gods word given to them on their level. And, right now, while they miss interacting with their friends and teachers, I think they are also missing the part of going to church that feels like theirs as opposed to "the grown-ups".

How important is it for me, then, to give them God's word on their level? For me to help them find ways to praise Him that are meaningful to their young hearts?

Extremely. 

Learning about Him now - loving Him now - praising Him now - is how they are going to learn yoove to keep doing that forever.

Learning on their level, singing songs they understand the words of, doing activities that help them understand God's word better ... That's how they grow in their knowledge and understanding. 

That's why they love Bible class, and why it's so important to them. It's also why they love reading the stories of the Bible - because stories make since to them. It's God in a way thy "get".

So here's to more intentionally giving them God on their level ... Because I love nothing more than watching them grow in this way.

Moments

Moments are a funny thing to me. They are so incredibly fleeting, and yet manage to have such a lasting impact. 

Sometimes they fly by without notice, wasted on some frivolous thing. 

Sometimes we wish we could get them back.

Sometimes they drag sloly in anticipation or dread.

Sometimes they slip through our fingers as we frantically try to hold onto them.

Sometimes they keep us awake at night, replaying themselves over and over again.

Sometimes we don't realize their worth until they are long past. 

Sometimes they are not so powerful in their individuality, yet overwhelming in their accumulation.

Sometimes we forget them. 

Sometimes they stick.

I know you have moments you're thinking of. You know I do, too. 

One moment my daughters played happily. One moment they faught.

One moment I handled parenting gracefully. One moment I was distraught.

One moment I was focused and purposeful. One moment I frittered away.

One moment I prayed would hurry by. One moment I sure wished would stay.

One moment to gather my bearings. One moment to let go my restraint.

One moment my future self brightened. One moment my reputation may taint.

One moment my heart swelled with pride. One moment humbled me again.

One moment I realized an important thing ... One moment to the next itself lends.

One moment I work for the next one. One moment I build one each time.

One moment does not show you all of me ... But the sum of my moments defines.

Visible Decisions

Today we went to Elephant Rocks with family. It was a great (if sweaty) day. We all loved climbing and exploring. Thanks to the ones with us, Lydia got to climb fast and high and I only yelled "stay close to Uncle Isaac or Daddy!" like 72 times.

It was nice to get out and you know I love capturing the moments. A lot of good pictures came out of this day... but here is one of my favorites.

I love what you can see at first glance: my brother-in-law exploring with my 3 favorite girls. But I love the story you can't quite see even more.

You can't see that it was the end of our exploring at Elephant Rocks and that, therefore, our determined explores were getting tired.

You can't see that the water was close behind me (and the camera), or that Josh and I had strategically placed ourselves between the girls and said water.

You can't see that Raina was *supposed* to be standing by Lydia and Emma ... And even HAD been standing there until she decided to bolt away. You can't see that we had coralled her back, but only that far ... Because right then she was to stubborn to go be in the picture.

You can't see that her ornery little brain had clearly figured out that my hands were busy taking the picture of Emma and Lydia and therefore may possibly be slower to grab her.

But, by the look on her face you CAN see that she had figured out Uncle Josh was the biggest threat to her "escape attempt" to get closer to the water. 

And, you can see Josh's smile ... So at first glance, you might have missed the stare down. But look again ... It's there. 

Here is Raina and Uncle Josh having a moment as Raina decided if she would listen to his word of caution to stay close. 

I don't often get to capture the moments where my kiddos are thinking through important decisions (largely because I'm usually busy navigating those moments with them). "Will I listen and obey this person?" is a big decision for a 2 year old - and here - by chance - I got to capture that decision being made.

I love the fact that I could trust Josh to nab her if needed let me pause long enough to take this adorable picture of Lydia and Emma.

And the fact that Raina trusted Uncle Josh enough to decide to listen to him and not bolt again? That I love even more. 

I'm so thankful for the other people in my girls lives that they know they should listen to. The people that help me let the girls experience adventure all while being kept safe. I'm thankful for people who make my girls listen and help teach them the right way to do things. 

And, the fact that they can do it all with a smile even through the "stare downs" and catch them if they had chosen wrong and not listened? That's just bonus awesome.