Breath.

A letter to myself (and maybe you, too):

Take. A . Breath. 

And then maybe another three. 

In fact, feel free to KEEP breathing (you know, as deeply as your mask will allow 😉).

We are about to send our teachers and kids back into the classroom.  Everyone's prepping for it now. Many have been prepping for it for months now. And here are a few things I think we just need to get out in the open right now:

There are going to be new policies and procedures that you don't like. 

There are going to be problematic situations that arise. Many of these will, legitimately, have no great solution.

There are going to be people that think differently than you - and probably a few that don't appear thinking at all. 

It is going to be hard and feel different and sometimes uncomfortable. 

You are going to have to work hard, and think harder.

Everyone will be tired. Emotions will likely run high. 

So: 

Pause before you answer. Pause before you talk. Pause before you let your facial expression out to be seen (okay, that may be one benefit to my new mask I'll be wearing...). Pause. 

Pause and pray. Pause and check.

Check if your tone of voice makes what you're about to say hearable. While you're at it, check if what you're about to say is worth being said. 

Check if you've thought the problem through and thought about it from more than just your side ... because that's whats going to be necessary. 

Check and see if it you're thinking through the problem and possible solutions aloud or just whining. Oh, we'll all need a good vent every now and then ... But make sure your "vent group" is ready for a good vent and move forward session. And then don't forget the "move forward" part.

Check and see if you're focusing on the bad, or focusing on what you can do to make it as good as possible. 

Check and see if your attitude is in line with what God would have it to be. People, He didn't promise ease. But He did promise a life after this life that's better. So don't let this current hardship trip you up or throw you off your path.

Check and see if you're friends are okay. Some things are harder for some. Check and see who can handle your sarcasm and laugh and who needs your tender approach and patience. Check on the newbie, check on the veteran. Check in and offer what peace you can help find. Because if we've ever all been in this together, we certainly need to be now.

Check if you're remebering to breath through the problem, before you address the problem, and certainly before you address anyone else in the midst of what you perceive to be a problem.

Just breath. Please. Because everything seems a little better when you aren't suffocating. 

Suit Up

You guys. This. All of this.

There's a million political discussions happening and I desperately want Christians to be a part of them. However, I want those Christians to remember that they are not merely a Republican, a Democrat, a Libertarian, or an anything else .... they are, first and foremost, a Christian. Spoiler alert: no political group is infallible and no politician worth following blindly as if they were perfect .... Because, well, they are human. So, be a Christian ... Think through things and people like a Christian, and then filter what you say and post (and think), like a Christian.

There's a hundred things happening. There are protest, there are riots, there are government responses, there are closures, there are openings, there are city ordinances ... There are people making different decisions than you. Guess whose making all those decisions from the one to riot to the one to require masks? Humans. So, be a Christian ... Think through things and people like a Christian, and then filter what you say, and post (and think), like a Christian. 

Wear a mask. Don't wear a mask. Choose not to go to stores that are requiring masks. Shop everyehere. Stay home and order grocery delivery. BUT make your decisions based on Godly thought and then go about your business in a Godly way.

Because when Ephesians 6:12 says "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rules of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." we aren't talking about specific political parties or government figures, certain groups or businesses or policies. Now, could Satan be using those things? Well, sure! That's why Christians need to be thoughtful and watchful and ready to act. But do you know where Satan attacks us more often? Where most of the battles we fight happen? In our own hearts. So, do you know where most of our armouring up needs to happen and where a whole lot of our focus needs to be? You guessed it ... In our own hearts. 

Eph. 6:14 talks about the belt of truth and the breastplate of righteousness. Truth = Biblical truth. You know, the kind not often gleaned from a Facebook meme. Righteousness = morally right. Guess where our morals are supposed to be coming from? 

Vs. 15 mentions that our feet should be shod with "the preparation of the gospel of peace". This peace does not negate our responsibility to stand up for gospel truth when necessary, but it should always govern the way in which we stand, and the motivation behind our stance.

Vs.16 mentions the shield of faith ... Faith that keeps us grounded so we don't get swept up in the devil's schemes ... Even the ones that show themselves through wordlh modes and tempt us to respond to ideas and people with ungodly thoughtlessness. Faith that keeps us steadfast and graceful even we have to take fire for our beliefs and stances.

Vs 17 mentions the helmet of salvation ...  salvation that is our hope and our goal above anything else. AND then goes on to mention Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Now that's not say we can't listen to science, and pay attention to leaders ... But we better be checking all the information and opinions against God's word before making them our own. 

And vs 18-19? "Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints - and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel." Praying all the time. For ourselves. For situations. For others. For each other. And, for the boldness to speak, the wisdom to choose our timing, approach, our words, and our quiet times, so that God's word can be shared, but also, heard. So that we can be Christians ... Thinking through things and people like Christians, filtering what we say, post, and think the way God would have us do. 

The Meaning of a "Yes"

"One thing I think many moms find difficult is the fact that every yes us by definition also a no. A yes to time watching summersaults in the backyard is a no to a phone call, a glance through a magazine, or a bit if alone time. A yes to asking friends over for a time of encouragement is a no to free time you might have spent on yourself, rather than cleaning the bathroom, organizing your notes for the evening, or baking cookies to share. Yes to the car pool means no to sleeping in; yes to playing during bath time means no to your favorite television show ... And on and on it goes." -- Sally Clarkson from "Mom Heart Moments" (Which is a fantastic daily devotional I am enjoying reading thanks to a wonderful Christian lady who passed it my way!).

Ooohhh how hard this thought hits me. Frequently. Sometimes when I'm choosing between pleasures, when a yes to an extra long shower meant a no to sleeping in. But it also hits when I'm chosing between "things to do" and struggling to prioritize....when a yes to working outside means a no to cleaning inside. And it hits sooo often where my kiddos are concerned and a yes to going swimming means a no to doing laundry. And sometimes, sometimes it happens even when I'm choosing between very important things and a yes to helping someone with something means a no to quality time with my girls.

Sally Clarkson goes on in her devotional reading to remind me that "When we spread ourselves thin, leaving no time for snuggles and back rubs, Bible study and reading deeply, family vacations and Saturday afternoons at the park, our influence becomes diluted." 

And how true it is. When I run crazy all day and am impatient with my girls in the evening ... We're my "yes"s worth the "no"s? When I commit myself to toooo many things and end up feeling resentful or stressed..... Well, you get the idea.

I am NOT a stay at home and hole up person. I almost always encourage doing for others. BUT. But sometimes, we have to pause. Sometimes we have to reevaluate - check our priorities - and make certain that we are using our time. Spending it well on what's important to us, not waisting it on a million other things.

....and if you want to read more about how important consciously spending your time is, you can read about that in a throwback post, here. 😉

Not Okay

There's a package on its way to my house that I'm not excited to open. It's full of masks. Cute masks I ordered for Lydia to wear to school in August. Cute masks I hope will make the idea that she'll probably be asked to wear one a little less uncomfortable.

I will not be okay opening that box. Oh, I'll smile and talk about cute they are, sure. But the truth is, I will absolutely hate the "sales pitch" I give her ... mostly because I think the whole situation is just ... Not at all okay.

It's not okay that my daughter will have to be physically uncomfortable while walking to class each day. And masks are not comfortable.

It's not okay that she'll try to find her friends by only seeing half their faces.

It's not okay that she'll get to know her teachers by only seeing their eyes and a mask.

It's not okay that she'll notice who has a cute mask instead of who has a nice smile.

Furthermore, it's not okay that we have a whole generation of kids we are teaching not to get close to people. Don't shake hands. Don't touch. Don't hug. Don't even share a space. 

It's not okay that they are seeing people everywhere with only the expressions eyes can portray.

It's not okay kids won't know how to act in public places because they aren't *going* to public places.

It's not okay kids are missing out on experiences.

It's not okay that they are learning to be suspicious of others and their germs rather than friendly to those they meet. 

It's just not okay.

Oh, I get it. 

I get all the germs and sickness and caution. But the side effects of our caution? Oy vey.

I don't want to argue about if its worth it in the short term. I certainly don't feel prepared to examine the long term. 

I DO know that schools and teachers and parents everywhere will do what they can to make things as good for kids and students as possible.

But I also know that where our kids are concerned ... None of this is really okay.  

Discretion

Before I had kids I really thought I was a busy person. Now that I have kids, I wonder what I even thought I was spending my time doing before. 

Many times I have thought there was a lot going on in our world. Right now, there is enough happening to make 6 months ago look like a "boring" time. Ha.

With so much going on there are a million thoughts and opinions going through my head. There are a hundred things I could say or write. And yet, I haven't written any yet - and I've been very careful who I've talked to them about.

I am not scared to share my thoughts. My opinions are mine for thought out reasons and I stand by them. HOWEVER, when so much happening on in our world, emotions run high. Emotions that cause others to take our words (spoken and written both) and twist them. I don't think the twising is even (always) intentional ... when emotions run high and perceptions differ hugely, it is hard to SAY or write something and have it HEARD or read the same, intended, way.

It's a human nature thing we all have to be careful about - our own bais infiltrates the things we hear and see AS we are hearing and seeing it and influences how we receive it. Our emotions even keep us from being able to hear and process things people say to us. It's why teaching kids what bias is, and how to research carefully, is such an improtant task.

It's also why, sometimes, it's better for me to keep my opinions and thoughts close to me and carefully shared. It's called discretion. And I'm both constantly working on it myself and trying to teach its fine art to my girls.

Discretion often impacts how I act. It also impacts what I say and how I say it. It means I don't often go around telling people that I think they are wrong just because their opinion differs from mine (unless there is a Biblical reason I need to stand up or against for something). It's why I don't always say what I sometimes want to say. And it's certainly why I don't always type and post the first thoughts that come to my mind ... Or even the second or third ones. 

One of the awesome things about freedom is I have the freedom to persue happiness instead of conflict. I won't shy from a disagreement or discussion that needs to happen .... But I also try to be careful not to go around inciting arguments and eye rolls. 

There's a balance. It involves a lot more listening that it does talking and a lot more reading and research than it does typing and posting. It requires deciding what battles need fought and what things can be let go. For me it also often involves discussions with those who know me and whom I know before discussions with peopel whom I have no relational capacity. And, it most definitely involves deciding what things need to be said and shared and then a whole lot of prayerful thought about how and when to say those things so that they can be as well received as possible.

It's called discretion ... And it isn't always easy, but it's always worthwhile. 

Daughter(s)

She's as sweet as she is sour

As brave as she is scared

And depending on what hour

You'll find quite the gammit there.

A princess in frilly dresses

Necklaces and rings galore

And then she's shorts and cowboy boots

Playing in the mud some more.

She stares in wonder out at nature

Stands in awe of butterflies

Will take on all adventure

And ask a hundred million "why's"

Sometimes she stands so obstinste

Just her against your plan

Yet before you have time to ponder it

Off with giggles she has ran.

Oh, you'll shake your head a time or two

But your heart will burst with pride

Watching her through all she grows to do

Will fill you with love each time.