Mulling Thoughts

This week has been crazy. Things at school are a bit overwhelming and with the map test coming up (this week - eek!) and then keeping up a house and trying to make some progress on our yard and ... well, this week has just been crazy.

Meanwhile I have had lots of thoughts running around in my head, but I just haven't been able to fully develop any of them just yet.

It made me think of this post by a dear old friend: http://dirtyhands-beautifullife.blogspot.com/2012/03/watering-soul.html

Check it out! Turns out sometimes we DO just need to mull things over for a while. :)

Mastering Sins

"...and let us have the courage to master our sins." That was said in a prayer the other night. Funny enough, the prayer was said by someone who didn't even hear Uncle Jamie's sermon Sunday on mastering sin...

In Uncle Jamie's sermon he talked about a story we've all heard lots of times; the story of Cain and Able. BUT he pointed out a verse that I had apparently never paid quite enough attention to! In Gen. 4:7 God says to Cain "...sin is crouching at the door, and its desire is for you, but you must master it."

God said that! "Sin is crouching at the door and its desire is for you" but instead of saying "run!" Or "quick! Get help!" Or "stay inside forever!" He said "but you must master it".

Three parts to that: YOU. MUST. MASTER it.

You. Its your sin. Its my sin. When my kiddos at school have a self control issue I tell them "I will help you - I'll give you clues and reminders ...but I can't do it for you. YOU have to control you." ... And that's the same way it is with our sin. People can help us, remind us, be there for us -- but bottom line is I have to conquer my own sin.

Must. Seriously folks, this is not an optional thing. Not when Heaven is at stake.

Master it. "Avoidance" only works so long. Eventually we have to face a temptation - and remember that we CAN control it. And then we need to control it. And that takes courage. Extreme courage. And a whole lot of help from God and out Christian friends. But it can be done. And we must do it. Good news is, God doesn't give directions we are incapable of following - so when He says "master it" we can be assured (and comforted by the fact) that we are fully capable of doing so (so no excuses allowed).

Sin is at the door, and its desire is for you, but you must master it.

...and you can find Jamie's sermon here: http://www.oakgrovecofc.org/Recordings/2013_04_14_AM_jrinehart_MasteringSin.mp3

So, You're A Teacher ... Now What?

Disclaimer: Remember the Flannery O'Connor quote "I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say"?? Well, that definitely applys to this post. While I'd love your feedback on this post, it is mostly for me to get my thoughts out ... so that I can read them, and think about them more. =)

I always knew I wanted to be a teacher. Now, somewhere along the way I decided maybe I hadn't given other career options enough of a chance and went through a random "lets think of everything else I might possibly want to do with my life" phase. Then I remembered (realized?) that I really did want to be a teacher.

Best. Decision. Ever.

Aaannnddd I thought I was done making career decisions. Well, jokes on me.

I definitely think someone should write a book: "So, You're a Teacher. Now What?"

I really am a very opinionated person (shocking, I know - you probably never would have guessed that). BUT, when it comes to what to get my masters in, I am so ready for someone just to tell me what to do! There are so many options! So many reasons to go with each choice! ... and I don't know what to do!

Educational Technology - Technology is huge and getting huger. I do love to use it in my classroom. Really, I just love it in general -- I place full blame on my husband and his techy ways! So, I really lean towards this one! Also, it has been delcared "high needs" in our district, so I could get some $$ towards tuition (huge plus). AND I think classes will be offered on our STJ campus which would be nice (the other option is to do all online). BUT (and it's a big one) ... I am actually very reserved when it comes to technology in the classroom (at least compared to other people). I fully support technology in college, high school, moving more towards it in Middle School ... AND I love some of it in Elementary. My fourth graders eat it up. There really are some really cool things you can do with technology. BUT the key word is "some".  Using technology SOME is outstanding - but so is not using technology all the time. Kids need books in their hands. They need hands on activities (clicking and dragging doesn't count). They need ME teaching them, not the computer. And so, while I LOVE technology in the classroom, I also have this fear (irrational though it may be) that I will somehow be brainwashed to believe I should use only technology all the time! Odd....

Reading - I genuinely LOVE to read. I love books -the smell, the feel, the words, the ideas, the imagination ... I LOVE them. AND working with a group of kiddos with low reading levels this year has really shown me I have a lot to learn about helping kids learn to read (turns out being able to read yourself and being able to teach someone else to read are two very, VERY different skills). And, well, I think it is really super important for us to have teachers who know how to teach kids to read! So, this is a huge draw to me. It would be something I'm passionate about for sure. It's also high needs = $$.

Curriculum and Instruction - It's always good to learn more about designing and implementing curriculum. I could even focus in reading! So 2 in 1 in a way ... and it could turn in (way down the road) to some sort of leadership position... It's also high needs - $$.

Educational Administration - I used to really, really think I wanted to be a principal someday. I still like the idea ... kind of. But sometimes when I think about how overwhelming the job must feel sometimes it seems ...slightly less appealing. But I do love the idea of being in a position to effect change in such a way...

Bottom line is, while I LOVE my classroom and can't picture myself anywhere but in the classroom for years to come - I want to be well equipped to change the world from inside my classroom's walls. And someday maybe even outside of my classroom walls.

So, that is my current delimma ... and we'll see what happens!

Defense

As you may (or may not) know, I am generally a fan of guns. I like to hunt, I like to target practice, and I like the security my gun brings me when I get spooked at night. I like the idea of being able to defend myself and others.

I also like the fact that I feel safe in my school. I love that I don't walk around feeling like I need to actively defend myself.

I hate the fact there is no guarantee I will always feel safe in my school. I hate that there could come a time when I would need to actively defend myself.

I love that my school has a lot of security in place. I love that there are plans in place. I love that I know what I would need to do in the worst hypothetical situation.

I hate that "security in place" is not an actual guarantee. I hate that plans can fail. I hate that I even have to know what I would need to do in the worst hypothetical situation.

I love the idea of being able to defend myself and, more importantly, my kiddos.

I hate the idea of having to defend myself and my kiddos.

But I hate the idea of being helpless to defend my kiddos even more.

...

And so, I am very curious to see how this plays out: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/15/us/missouri-school-trains-teachers-to-carry-guns.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&

I am curious to see if more districts will "go there". I am curious to see how people react. I am curious to see if this idea comes "closer to home" (granted, West Plains is fairly close to home).

It's a topic worth watching, for sure. And also, a subject very much worth praying about a whole lot.

Prayers

I was going to write an awesome blog post ... but as I sit here with my computer, I am to distracted by the news to focus, so you're getting this instead.

What happened today was horrible. Terrible. Sad. Unexplainable. Horrific. Scary. Heartbreaking. Use any word you want ... it was awful.

There are pictures, tweets, facebook .... the Boston Marathon tragedy (as I'm sure it will be remembered) is everywhere you look. How horrible is it that such an event; an athletic, fun, upbeat, competitive event could turn so tragic in the blink of an eye?

What is important is this: there are times when all we can do is pray. And help in any way we can - donate (blood? money? time?). But mostly pray. And then pray more. Pray for healing, for understanding, for wisdom, for calm -- just pray. Pray for a nation who desperately needs God. Pray for a people who do not even know how badly they need God. And then pray more.

It will be interesting to watch the investigation. I am as curious as the next person as to who was behind the bombing. But will knowing the "who" help me understand the "why"? ...no. Will knowing the "who" (or even the who and why) ease the pain of those suffering? ...no. But God can ease the pain. And so, pray.

Winning

...it might be possible one is watching toooo much TV when you start having "deep" thoughts brought on by commercials.... BUT, here goes:

At the end of a Gatorade commercial the words "win from within" flashed up on screen. I'm sure that was partly because, well, one generally DRINKS Gatorade, and therefor it is inside you ... Or something like that...

It was also because unlike the motivation my school kiddos find when I bribe the with candy ... uh, I mean, when I provide them with an incentive... the motivation, drive, passion it takes to succeed at sports has to come from inside you. If you are in sports, or exercise with only external motivation, you won't get far. A parent can only push you so far, a coach or trainer can only encourage to a point, a buddy can only provide so much. Everything else, the strength to keep pushing when things get tough, has to come from within you ... And often you have to dig pretty deep for it!

Often times we want the easy solution - it's why we diet before beginning to exercise. It's why diets fail. It's why exercise doesn't last. Because, when you're in it for easy solutions and fast results and then the results don't come quickly and the results prove to be short term we lose our motivation because those things are EXternal. We succeed only when we find the internal motivation to keep going through plateaus, losses, disappointments... We win from within.

(Okay, okay, Im getting to the "deep" thought ... Don't rush me...)

Isn't it the same with our spiritual selves?! Parents can only push so far. A preacher or teacher can only encourage to a point, friends and family can only provide so much. Everything else, the strength to keep pushing when things get tough, has to come from within you ... And often you have to dig VERY deep for it.

Whether its making time to study on a busy, hard day, or standing up to peer pressure and doing the right thing even when it's hard, or going to church even when your exhausted, or standing up for God when it may feel difficult or scary ... Whatever the situation, it is often hard to be the Christians we need to be. No amount of candy bribes (or other forms of external motivation) are going to pull us through on this one folks. If we don't have the willpower inside of us (and if we aren't praying for a little more strength and wisdom every day), we aren't going to make it. W have to win from within. With lots of help from God. With lots of help from Christian friends and family to build what is inside us.

And you winning from within? Am I? Or do we find ourselves waiting or external motivation to strike us? Waiting for a friend to pull us along? Waiting for it to be easy? Just like anything else, we get out of serving God only what we put in to it ... So we have to put the best we have to give, from the deepest part of ourselves into serving God. :)

(...aaaaannnddd that is 2 posts in 1 day folks. Hope you don't mind reading...)

Two Breaths

"It takes one fool to backtrack. It takes two fools to make a conversation out of it." --Fred Jones

Fred Jone's book "Tools for Teaching" has been one of my favorite education books ever since my student teaching supervisor gave it to me last December. I mean, I read it all the way through ... Voluntarily! He just has a way of saying things that make so much since ... And crack me up. Like pointing out that every time I dignify my kiddo's back talk with a response, I am being the fool that creates a conversation out of back talk. My bad!

He also has this brilliant idea that I have really been trying to focus on ... Take two, calming breaths. Before doing ... Well, anything! It gives you time to get your fight or flight reflex in check, calm yourself down, get a game plan .... You know, not be a fool and say something reactive. I have a somewhat ... Backtalk-y? Class. So it's kind of a big deal for me to not be reactive ... It simply fuels their fire.

But I think this idea of two deep breaths will help in lots of "not my 4th grade classroom" situations, too. Like when my husband and I disagree on something. Or another adult frustrates me. Or when Im not sure how to respond to a situation. Or when Im studying with someone and am not sure how to answer a question, or when I am tempted by something.

If you haven't studied the fight or flight reflex, you should ... It is interesting how much can be blamed on that primitive instinct! So, we have to learn to control it. And hey, two deep breaths is a great start.

=)

...random informative tidbit for you: running with shin splints is not advisable. Turns out, unlike muscle soreness you cannot really "work through them", but you CAN make the worse! So, now for a couple days of Advil to get through the day, ice at night, and no running... Book!

Some Days

Any day you say "Please get that pencil out of your ear." "Did you just pull your tooth out?" "Don't put the pencil up your nose!" "Go to the sink so you're not getting blood on the table!" and "Hello, dear principal, yes, please come on in to observe me" all in one breath, you know it is going to be a fantastic day.

Or something.

Seriously, my kids have been AWESOME lately -- so there was bound to be a setback eventually! And really, I don't know that yesterday was THAT bad or if it just felt THAT bad becasue my kids have been spoiling me lately. And I was super tired. And I got observed. Regardless, it felt pretty awful! But, some things are simply out of my control -- like teeth falling out in the middle of my lesson. Ha! SO, what do you do, except keep plugging along, share a smile with the principal (who thankfully knows the group of students you have), and make it through the day as productively as possible.

And then go home and crash on the couch to re-coup before church.

Except I didn't do that this time! Instead I went home and did day 2 of the Couch to 5k program. Whoa buddy.

I love to exercise ... in random spurts. I love the idea of being fit and able to do things like run. I love the idea of dropping several pounds. I love the idea of it ... I just tend to get sidetracked a lot! And to busy! And over committed! .....And by that I mean, while I like the idea of working out, I really prefer to be lazy  --- and I really love to eat food.

So, being fit sometimes takes a back burner to that *insert blush here*.

BUT, with summer coming up, and a vacation with the family, and all kinds of lovely things like that --- I started the couch to 5k program ... and I am *fully intending to* stick with it!  Because, well, I want to be a runner! So, heres to making exercising last more than a week this time ;).

Because honestly, after I jogged instead of sitting on the couch for that 30 minutes, I didn't feel physically better, but I didn't feel worse either ... well, except for the aching in my legs. And regardless, it really did help my mind get clear enough to stop stressing about school and focus at church! So lets call it a win ;).