Whispers of Good

It seems our country (world?) has had a lot of bad things happen lately. As I as thinking about several of the current events on our world, our country, our town, this thought kept coming back to me: so often the bad is also the loud.

In my 4th grade classroom I sometimes catch kiddos doing something "bad". As you can imagine I am often able to catch them because when they do something "bad" they also get loud. Pick on a neighbor? They react. Throw a paper airplane? Someone giggles. Not paying attention? The whispered giggles give you away. Fighting? Loud. Mean words? Loud reactions.

It's sometimes harder for me to catch the good things. Because stopping to help their neighbor pick up a dropped pencil in quiet. Pointing to where we are in a book to a friend that lost their spot is silent. Doing their work? Soft. Holding the door for someone else? Silent.

Bad often shouts. Good often whispers.

School shootings. Assault charges. Abuse charges. Abortion debates. Murder. Theft. Bullying. Natural disasters. Threats. They are all loud. They catch attention. They demand attention. We talk about them. We dwell on them. We can't look away.

But just because there is bad doesn't mean their isn't good. It's just that good doesn't always proclaim itself.

Taking dinner to new neighbors. Helping out a friend. Holding the door for a stranger. Paying for someone's groceries. Donating to a good cause. Heading up a good cause. Looking out for children. Being there for those in need. Reaching out to others. Helping. Supporting. Praying. Doing. Being. A smile. A kind word. They are quiet. They are easily overlooked. They go without notice and seldom make the news. But they happen. And they count. They just whisper.

Today I watched a kiddo get left out. She was immediately upset. And she started to get loud. But before I even had a chance to react I saw 3 different kids from around my room notice her. And so I waited. And they - my 9&10 year olds - included her. And after the activity was over I said "hey! What did ya think of that?" And she said "I liked it! I liked that they helped me figure it out and worked with me."

She didn't remember the bad. She remembered the good.

I can't fix or stop the bad. But I can start out numbering the bad with good.

Bad things will still happen in my classroom. But I can teach my kiddos to respond and overcome that bad with good.

I can't protect my own kiddos from bad. But I can help them look for the good. And I can raise them to help be part of the good.

I don't necessarily want to down play the bad. It needs to be examined. To be thought about and discussed. But I  do want to amplify the good. To highlight it - spotlight it - hold a megaphone to it.

I may not be able to make the bad quieter ... But I can make the good louder.

#findthegood #bethegood #shoutoutthegood

This Stage

Tonight I wanted to go to church. It's my goal every Wednesday night. It hasn't happened in weeks.

Sunday evening I wanted to sit through the entire sermon AND listen. Instead I caught pieces of it ... And called only going out once a win.

Monday I meant to do laundry and spend some time with my hubby. Instead we passed girls back and forth and then I collapsed into bed.

My kids are awesome. I love my job. I have a huge support in my husband and our extended family. But this stage, oh this stage is hard.

This stage is a teething 4 month old and an emotional 3 year old. This stage is calming irrational fears like "I don't want any bears to get me!" And "I don't want the racoons to eat my friends like they did my chickens!". This stage is carrying a baby in one arm and making messy handprints with paint with the other hand.

This stage is saying "whisper" and "use your quiet voice" and "sit still" 72 times a church service. It's unspoken prayers of "please let the baby sleep for a while". It's a bedtime routine that takes 2 hours only to end in sad shouts of "you left me in my bed alone mommy!" as little feet stomp accross the house to my room at 1:00 AM. It's getting up 6 or 7 times a night and then dragging myself out of bed at 5 to get everyone out the door while running on way less sleep than I'd like. It's collapsing into my own bed (after my hubby wakes me up to tell me to get out of the 3 year olds bed to go to my own) all to aware of the jobs around my house that are left undone.

This stage is mountains of laundry and piles of baby toy clutter. It's balancing "that's enough time on your tablet" with " give me 2 more minutes of peace". Its showering quickly while at least one girl waits for me. It's a dog who just wants someone to throw his ball  or let him outside. It's staying in in the evenings to keep our colds to ourselves and keep ourselves able to keep going.

This stage is balancing a job I love and a mommy-hood that means the world to me, and often feeling I should be better at both. It's grading papers at home when I should be playing. It's pumping at school when I should be working. It's seldom knowing the right answers. It's forgetting silly things and losing my phone frequently because there is so much rolling around in my brain. It's struggling to prioritize and remember everything for everyone. It's eating out to much because grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning up often seem like a whole lot of time and work. This stage is constantly being reminded I do not have everything (or even very much!) all figured out.

This stage is exhausting and messy and sometimes hard. But oh, this stage is beautiful too.

Beautiful because I get to watch my husband be a daddy and be awesome at it. Beautiful because my girls grin at their Nana and hug on their cousins. Beautiful because my big one loves my little one and wants to hold her and sing to her. Beautiful because I get to read stories and sing silly songs. Beautiful becauese I get to do sooo much playing and dancing.

It's beautiful to be reminded of the awe in *everything* through a child's eyes. Beautiful to hear "I missed you Mommy, I love you." Beautiful to see my girls learning about God and hear Lydia repeat her adorable take on Bible stories. Beautiful watching Lydia make friends and to see her love for others. Beautiful Raina's baby smiles and fun baby "firsts".

Beautiful because I get to be a part of these tiny humans. I get to help them grow and learn and find God. Beautiful because it drives me to pray more and praise God more. It reminds me to be silly and constantly practices my patience. Beautiful because I'm reminded of all the help I have and all the people that have put in to me and are now putting into my girls. It's small parenting "wins" when we catch ourselves doing ssomething right. It's family time and memory making. It's a joyful kind of tired and the kind of crazy that leaves us counting our blessings. It's beautiful.

And so tonight I'll send my hubby to church, and I'll stay home. I'll hold a clingy, teething baby and play with/practice coping skills with a congested, emotional, overtired 3 year old. I may start a load of laundry .... But I may not. And either way, it's okay.

I'll hug my babies. I'll draw inspiration from the mom's who have proved this stage can be lived splendidly ... I'll lean on the momma's who are doing this stage with me ... And I'll remember to love *almost* every single minute of this stage.

Because this stage may be exhaustion times 20 and occasionally feeling so "needed" that I can't breath ... But it's also love times a million and, as I'm constantly reminded when Lydia says "when I'm big I will _____ all by myself!", this stage is fleetingly short.