Partners

Sometimes he folds the towels "wrong" and claims not to know where the girls clothes go and sometimes I drive him crazy by stuffing the trash can too full instead of just emptying it and ordering too many packages from Amazon.

But sometimes?

Sometimes he cuts wood with the help of one kiddo, and I put my grades in while the other kiddo reads to me. 

Sometimes he washes the dishes while I drop off kids at daycare. 

Sometimes he starts kid bath time while I pick up the living room. 

Sometimes he orders a pizza while I finish a project ... and kid bedtime sure is easier when we tag team. 

One Wednesday I wasn't feeling well and he took the girls to church. One Wednesday he worked late and the girls and I headed out without him.

Some days - and weeks - he carries the weight because I'm stressed or sick or tired. Other times I carry the load because work and commitments keep him busy. 

Sometimes we have misunderstandings and argue. Sometimes we read each others mind without a word. 

We are never fully perfect. But we are always full partners ... And I am SO thankful for that. 

In Our Own Heads

Oh, to be as honest as the young ones are.

"Why did you do that?" I asked him. 

"I just follow whatever I want in my own head!" was his agitated reply. 

At the time that response frustrated me. Immensely. I really try not to do this, because it gives away my frustration, but I sighed - out loud - before responding. Then I said the best thing I could think of: "I guess that's why it's so important to think very carefully about the things we want in our own head." 

I ended our conversation still frustrated and not actually sure what discipline action was appropriate, and that led to me replaying the conversation in my head many, many times. 

.

On one such run through I realized that probably, the conversation we'd has was probably enough, and that the real reason I was stuck replaying the conversation was I actually needed to take my own advice. 

He was an impulsive 4th grader who was doing what popped into his head and seemed like the thing to do. 

I should be a less impulsive person seeing as I am.not a 4th grader .... But all too often I find myself doing the same thing. My own desires tempt me, my own thoughts "run amuck" and steer me wrong.

That kiddo, in a moment of his own frustration, said to me such honeat words "I just follow whatever I want in my own head." He had no real "reason" to offer me for his actions, and he was too honest to pacify me with excuses ... He simply had done what popped into his mind. 

How often do my actions scream that same thing to God? 

Oh, I don't go around intentionally telling God I'm doing my own thing, and chances are you don't either. But when we look at the root of our sometimes careless actions? When we truly dig to the heart of our issues and the tough situations we find ourselves in ... Isnt "I just followed whatever I wanted in my own head." often the real, true, catalist to much of our trouble? 

I didn't think it through. I didn't plan to sin. I didn't mean for this to happen. I just followed what I wanted in my own mind.

It will land us in a sticky situation every time. 

So, instead, I have to heed my own advice: It's so important to think very carefully about the things we want in our own heads. 

Because when our own wants don't match up with God's wants? We better think about them. When our first choice, or the fun choice, or the easy choice might possibly not be the right and best choice? We better think about it. In moments of passion? Frustration? Mere reaction? We better think about those things in our own head - and compare them to God's things very carefully ..... 

Because those things we want in our heads are also often the same things our own hearts know better than. 

One Piece Of Straw

Last Wednesday night I was rushing around to get ready in hopes of getting us all out the door on time for mid week Bible study. 

It's not an uncommon occurrence, the rushing. I'd stayed at school a little later than I planned to get one more thing done and then done a few "one more thing"s at home, too. Somewhere in tbe middle of starting a quick load of laundry realized I *had* to get going. So, I gave the girls a "5 min and we're getting dressed" warning and hurried into my closet to figure out what to wear myself.

Their "5 minute warning" didn't leave me much time to get myself around, and as I moved too quickly  through my closet, disaster struck. It started when I walked in - my elbow brushed a belt I had hooked over some shoes, and the shoes tumbled to the ground. No big deal, I picked them up. As I reached for a skirt and pulled down the hanger, a dress slipped off and hit the floor. The shirt didn't work how I wanted  - and grabbing my second choice resulted in another dress hitting the floor. When I turned around to hang the dresses back up, a stack of scarves I had folded toppled over, so then I had to pick them up. By the time I had them picked up, one daughter was yelling for me from her bedroom and the other was tracking me down. I had to fight back a meltdown because I *just* wanted 5 minutes of chaos free time to get ready for church so I could feel pulled together and ready to wrangle my kids .... And it simply wasn't happening. 

And here's what I'm trying to tell you: the straw that broke the camel's back wasn't any heavier than the other pieces of straw. It simply got placed at the wrong moment when the stack was already feeling heavy and high.

The scarves getting knocked over wasn't a big deal. Usually. 

The shoes falling down? That took two seconds. 

A shirt not fitting right? Well, I mean, aren't we all used to that?

But right then? In that moment? It added up all wrong. And all those little things came crashing down in a big heap of overwhelming. 

And how do you move on from that?!

....one live of straw, at a time, I suppose.

You pick an outfit and you hang up the others. You shove the pile of scarves into a basket (or, ya know, fold them back up, whichever). You pick up the shoes. You calm the children. 

One piece of straw - one thing - one moment - at a time. The same the straw got piled up? You unpile it. 

One piece at a time, with lots of deep breaths in-between, the overwhelming gets manageable again - and you keep moving forward.