Action Plan

I am a fixer. A doer. If there is a complete opposite of "procrastinator", that's me. (well, usually).

Tonight was one of those gotta do something RIGHT NOW kinda nights.

I think I am more stressed about going back to school than I was about going to school in the first place. Perhaps that is because I actually know what I'm getting in to this time....

Mostly it's because of this:

Okay, you probably can't really tell this ... but it's number 7 on my lovely "suggested unit plan" activity list. Animal research project. I'm all for a good research project. I get it, informative essay, lots of research experience, use of graphic organizer, outlines, typing practice ... lots of good stuff. We're even planning a persuasive element (convince someone to take your animal into a zoo! Build a sample zoo exhibit) you know, get some hands on, fun stuff in. 'Cause we're awesome like that.

I'm excited. Really. But I'm also mildly freaking out. HOW ON EARTH am I supposed to squeeze a 6 paragraph informative essay out of my kiddos? Let alone all the research it will take? And the final product? Typing? EEEEKKK. 

So, my night turned in to this:

Yup. Last Saturday night of break. School stuff spread all over my couch. And coffee table. And lap. and keyboard (yes, it was laying on top of my hands while I typed). I had to process! And sometimes "doing" is the only way I can process. 

Sooo, end of the night (already past my bed time) we have: 1 awesome set of graphic organizers (that I will post once I get them all pretty looking) each one centering around 1 question that will turn into 1 paragraph of the essay (4 questions = 4 paragraphs + intro and conclusion = 6 paragraph essay. BAM). We have 1 outline typed up (where kids can fill in their bullet points) and 1 plan to attempt to do this in ability groups (so I can offer as much guidance as needed while still providing those who can be more independent the opportunity to do so).

No guarantees it will go smoothly (okay, actually, I know it won't go "smoothly"). But, hey, having a plan that I can tweak as needed is way, WAY better than not having a plan at all! =). 

What a way to spend a Saturday night ... and I didn't mind a bit :).

Hope you're enjoying the last weekend of my break, too!

Break!

I always think when I get a break I will write more. I will think more. I will sit at my computer more.

Ha! Jokes on me!

I did sit in the hospital more. Rob's mom had some high blood pressure and high sugar issues that she spent a couple of days in the hospital getting checked out. All is well now and the numbers are being controlled (or at least closer to controlled) by new medicines which is splendid. But what a way to start a break! Whoo!

I did eat more. Like lots more. Woops! Guess January will need to bring a better diet and hopefully an exercise plan my way!

I did pack more. We plan on closing on our house on Jan 18th and moving at the end of January, so I wanted to get as much packing as possible done while I was on break. Which is great ... except for the 2 rooms of my house that are now filled with boxes. I like a clean, organized, not cluttered house ... this move can't get here soon enough!

I have loved more. Nothing makes me happier than time with family (young and old). 

My Great Uncle and Grandpa have always been exactly the same my entire life. They would jump over fences while working the cattle, lay in the floor to play with the grandkids ... I don't think they changed a bit for the first 18 years of my life! Then, suddenly, I realized how frail they are! Grandpa was diagnosed with Parkinsons disease and it has really taken a toll on him. Uncle Jim is really showing his age. It really makes you cherish every day with them!

Same, Rebecca, and Isaac needed a 4th for an intense game of laser tag. They quickly found out I am out of shape and probably don't make the best team member ... but we had a lot of fun anyway! (the head gear was really painfully tight on me!)

We also played some great games with cousins I don't get to see nearly enough! Trying to open a present with oven mits on? Priceless!!

So ... I could talk about everything way, WAY more. I could write you pages and pages. But honestly, I have more packing to do. And a house that needs cleaned. 

And I should probably at least THINK about school again between now and the first day back ... a day that I am not, nor will I be, ready for by the way!

So, here we go - the last few days of break. Hope you had a Merry Christmas -- and hope you have a wonderfully Happy New Year! :)

Unexplainable

Disclaimer: Please excuse the following ramble. I have a lot of thoughts and I need to get them out. But they have not been properly chewed on and digested and therefore will not come out eloquently. Bear with me.


Unexplainable things happen. Sometimes they are good. Often, like today, they are terrible. Unjustifiable. Incomprehensible. Unexplainable.

But, it is human nature to try to explain, to attempt to justify. So, in the next several weeks we (the media) will speculate. We'll discuss which video games the shooter liked. We'll talk about his childhood. We'll scrutinize every movie he ever watched. We'll hear and participate in heated debates over gun laws and availability. We will try to understand. We will try to justify.

Perhaps there is no justification. Perhaps it is impossible to understand. We might be better off to quit justifying. Quit trying to understand. Stop arguing about laws. Stop placing blame. Just stop. And pray. Pray a lot.

There is evil in our world. It is alive and active. It always has been and always will be. Sometimes we manage to close our eyes, plug our ears, and pretend it doesn't exist, but it always does. It isn't new - remember Noah? He built an arc to escape (with animals and his family) from a flood sent by God. A flood that destroyed the world and all on it. Why? Because "He saw the wickedness of the human race and that every inclination of the human heart was only evil continually" (paraphrase of Genesis 6:5). Evil has been here on earth - and, unfortunately, it isn't going anywhere. Evil isn't something one can explain away or justify or understand. It is just terrible, sad, evil. We cannot explain it away.

So what does that mean for us?

It means we need to stop forgetting that Satan is here and working hard. We need to be awake to that fact all the time, not just when a horrendous tragedy strikes. It also means we need to embrace the good in the world -- and, we need to BE the good in the world. Draw near to God. Live to please Him.

The thing about the evil in our world? We can't hide from it. We can't shelter our children from it. We can be "preventative", and I of course believe we should, but even preventions fail more often than we like. As long as there is evil in the world (which there always will be), there will always be people who are affected by it.

So, why are we all not becoming hermits? Why am I not quitting my job, holing up with my husband, and begging my mom to pull my little brother out of school? (because, lets be honest - there is definitely a moment or 10 when that is the gut reaction after such news). Well, have you heard the song "Safe in the Arms of Jesus"? I love that song.

The lyrics have been in my head all afternoon. "Safe in the arms of Jesus, safe on His gentle breast; There by His love o'ershadaded, sweetly my soul shall rest". There is one place evil cannot touch me - even when it hurts me physically. My soul is safe with Him. He can look out better for my family and friends way better than I can. He can take all of those innocent children to Heaven. He can provide comfort for their families. I can't. He can.

We cannot hide forever. We cannot hole up. We cannot build walls between us and the world. For one thing, evil will find us regardless. For another, if we are so busy hiding, how do we expect to spread His word? Be an example? In Bible class we used to sing the song "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine, all the time, let it shine". One verse says "Hide it under a bush? Oh no! I'm gonna let it shine" another says "I won't let Satan 'whoo' it out, I'm gonna let it shine..." Are we willing to let our light shine? Are we faithful enough, confident enough, not in our own ability to prevent, protect, and hide from danger but rather in His ability to take care of us, to face the world (and all the evil it holds)?

What a test of faith. To get up tomorrow. To go back to work, to school. (Personally for me, to think "What if that happened in MY school? Would I be able to handle myself? Do I what I needed to do? Go back to work ever?") To face the world each day. To allow our loved ones, our children, to face the world each day. Trusting Him is really our only option.

We cannot hide. We cannot necessarily protect those we'd like to protect. But we can know that our souls are safe. We can be prepared to face anything and everything with His help. We can help prepare our loved ones and our children - we can teach them what they need to know to be safe in His arms.

So hug your kids. Tight. Hug your spouse. Hug your (our your kids) teacher (they probably need it today). And then pray. A LOT. Be confused. Be sad. Be angry. And then pray. A lot more. Be frustrated. Talk about it. Think about it. And then pray more. And then get up. Dust yourself off. Go to work, to school. Let your families face the world with you. Love each other. Pray together. Pray for the effected families. Pray for your family. Pray for peace. Pray for calmness. And give up your feeling of control. Give up on the fact that you can protect ... and then lean on God a whole lot harder.  Because you, I, PEOPLE can't. But GOD can. And He will.

And for goodness sakes, read the Bible. Get to know God. Live to please Him. He is the only true security we can have in the world.

*My thoughts and prayers go out to each child whose innocence has suffered (Those killed in Connecticut by gun and those killed in China by sword alike). Each family who cannot yet see how to survive. To a community that is hurting. To a school that is devastated and cannot yest see how to rebuild. To people who are facing what no one should have to face. To everyone who is scared. To everyone that is hurting. I am heartbroken. I am praying.

It's the most wonderful time...

It started with some fun Christmas pictures my wonderful momma insisted on...

There was "writing in snow" (shaving cream) instead of on paper to practice our spelling words at school - and a early Christmas present of an Elf on the Shelf

A wonderfully fun Christmas show (that I didn't get nearly enough pictures of because it was dark!) the kids (and I!) loved it!

A Saturday filled with a 6th grade basketball tournament, hanging out with my sweet friend and her adorable family

And tonight, a winter choir concert (middle school)

Tomorrow my roommate from college is coming to see me on her way home for the holidays and I couldn't be more excited! =).

Sooo, here we go with the holiday season! If my (slightly spastic due to the time of year) class can make it through 6 more days of school, we will be good to go!! Hope your holiday season is off to a great start as well! =)

Exciting Happenings

        I should have gone to Wal*Mart tonight. I had every intention of going up right after school. Really. But I didn't. I didn't even do laundry or dishes or clean house ... woops! Nope, instead, I came home and took a nap. An hour and half nap people! And then my (oh so wonderful) hubby cooked dinner. And the dirty dishes are still sitting around my sink ... and I'm sitting here. Blogging. And I am soo okay with it.
     

                                                            I am exhausted.

       

         But it's a good kind of exhausted. You know, the kind that comes from having to much excitement. And I think I am on excitement overload. This week at school we flexed. It is a ton of work. I don't know how it is all going to go yet. We're still playing with our schedule we're still shuffling kids. If I'm being honest, on Monday I was ready to scrap the whole thing. But then Tuesday was better. And Wednesday was great. And today was PLC's....

         It is going to be an adjustment for me. I have ran a pretty structured classroom. I'm all for talking and cooperative learning, but I also like some structured quiet time where we work independently. There is suddenly a whole lot less independent work time happening in my classroom. Having another adult in the room means an extra noise level because we both pull groups (more kids talking) and we both run a group (and adult voices are loud). Angie and I work great together (or at least I think so) and I adore her! But we do have somewhat different styles and we are working to "marry" those. 

         It's a challenge. I love it. I love that it is WORKING. I love that the kids seem excited about the project we are starting. I'm excited that we are trying to find out what works best for kids.

         But, no matter how much I love school and adore my kiddos ... I am perhaps (okay, I AM) more excited about this next part: 

                                                We have a contract on a house!!

          I am so in love with the house - it's huge! It's just out of city limits and sits on 2 acres of mostly woods - it's close to town but secluded and lovely. And I am so excited! It will be fun to have a yard to work in, some small "fix-it-up" projects to do. And our own house!!!!! Today the termite inspection came back clean and wonderful. The house inspection also happened today so hopefully we will get the inspectors typed up report tomorrow or Saturday. I know there could still be glitches - things could even still fall through. But we are so hopeful and excited and thankful.

 .....and all of this makes me sleep a little less well at night, so therefore I must nap. Ha!

                                                What are YOU excited about?!

Thanksgiving Flop

I haven't said anything about Thanksgiving ... yet! I have approximately 5 billion things to be thankful for - all year round. And that is almost not an exaggeration. :). Seriously. Life is great - I have a splendid family, a wonderful husband, a great job, a marvelous Savior, a forgiving God ... I have no room to complain. Ever. But if I did, here is what I'd complain about tonight:

Why does this pintrest idea .... come out looking so much less awesome when I do it?!

 Okay, so at least some of them really did come out looking like different colored leaves - even if they weren't quite as good looking as the mystery person who I stole the idea from.

But, since after like 2 hours of baking pretty much all I have to show for it is this:

this Thanksgiving I am especially thankful for my momma, grandma, aunts, and sister. Because seriously, if my family was counting on me to deliver some amazing deserts tomorrow we'd all be in trouble. BUT since I have all these wonderful women to cook some splendid dishes to share, my sad looking leaf cookies can be ... well, hidden behind some tasty pies. =).

Yertle the Turtle

 

     Our school librarian sent out a page of questions about books to answer. If a class answers all the questions correctly you win a free book from the book fair we have going on this week. Soo, we were working on them yesterday. One of the questisons was "What turtle wanted to be king of all he could see?" (or something similar to that). Do you know the answer?

My kids didn't!! They didn't know Yertle the Turtle! This Dr. Seuss, people! It's like the building blocks of education!! ...okay, so that may be a *slight* exaggeration ... but I still couldn't believe it! So, we stopped everything and watched this:

 



...which, of course, is when another teacher (my mentor teacher) walked in ... go figure!  Ha! I told her this was some seriouse RTI  --- they didn't know something, I'm teaching it to them! :) Because, yes, Dr. Seuss IS that important! =)

 

Written Expressionless

        If you haven't read yesterday's post, read it first. Please. Let me sign like an excited, enthusiastic teacher before you see me sound like a frustrated, whiny teacher. Also, this is a long one ... you might want to pop some popcorn or something. Sorry =(.

        Now, with yesterday's post in mind .... prepare yourself!

This is one of my kiddo's journal entry's today.

      Can you read that? It says "I didn't like the field trip. I didn't learn anything, or see anything new. I hardly got see anything any way. It was a total waste of time and money." OH MAN.

       My kids came in today excited, as I hoped they would be, to talk about the field trip. Always looking for an excuse to write and build "writing stamina" I set my timer for 8 minutes and asked my kids to write the entire 8 minutes and fill at least half a page (though I told them most of us could at least write a full page - or two!). After all, we had a lot to say! After we wrote we had plans to use some awesome Kagan structures (like mix-pair-share) to share our writing with each other. Not a hard thing. In fact, we added more time to the timer because they wanted to. We mixed-pair-shared our hearts out. Except for this one kiddo.

      

       This one kiddo had the same 8 minutes. The same 2 extra minutes. The same amount of me walking around prompting *tell me more* *great writers expand!* *why did you like that part?* *why didn't you like that part?* (between writing my own entry because I wanted to share, too!). This student chose to write 5 sentences. And not expand. And not tell why. And chose to say "I don't feel like sharing" and "no, I do not want to write more".

        This is a high student. This is a kiddo I expected would especially enjoy the field trip becasue it would feed some need for knowledge. It would be different. Exciting. This is an excel student. This is a kiddo who can do better. Who does do better. Just, apparently, not today. 

I think a piece of my heart broke. 

         

         I probably didn't handle it well. In fact, at one point I looked at her, said "okay" and walked away. I walked away from a kid. Because I didn't know what else to try. I could have cried. So, as we transitioned to the next thing, I literally gave myself a "quit taking this personally and teacher up" pep talk. We worked on our awesome research projects. We read A.R.. And at conference time I went flying into a coworkers room for some ... therapy. 

         By the end of the day, this is what I had come up with:

•  I needed to not be so offended. I needed to let go of the fact that she didn't like the                      field trip. And, I needed to let go of the defiance, the refusal to write. It wasn't a personal attack on me.
• This wasn't the first time this kiddo had not preformed well with writing. In fact, she often struggles with writing and I've tried (what I feel like is) lots of different things. So, I decided I could not, would not, let this go any farther.
• I didn't want to punish. I wanted to prompt.
• I needed a challenge. So, after some advice from a couple different teachers, this is the letter that went home with  my student. Attached was a copy of her notebook page. After all, her mom had gone with us on the field trip ... and I wanted her to know what was going on.

    For the record, we (the student and I) also had a heart to heart talk. I was in excel to. I know sometimes its hard to have people expect a lot of you. I get it. We talked. We bonded. Then I handed her the letter ... and she wasn't very happy with me! I am excited ... and terribly nervous ... to see what I get tomorrow. I'm afraid it will be a very unhappy phone call or visit from an unhappy parent. But if it is, it is. Read the letter. Then tell me How would YOU have handled this situation?!

Dear kiddo,

After 8 minutes of “free write” time to write about our field trip, I was very disappointed that this is all you got down on your paper. I know you have way more thoughts than this. I expect more from such a smart girl like you! I know Mrs. O has you write every time you are in her class, and we write a lot in my room as well. Mrs. O and I both know you can do better than what I saw today.

I’m also disappointed you think you didn’t enjoy our field trip! Of course, I want everyone to love our field trips and learn a lot from them!
Good writers always expand on their writing … tell more, tell more. Good writers also back up their opinions with facts and information. So, since I know you are a great writer, here is my challenge:

Write me a persuasive letter or paper expanding on your writing this morning. I want to know why you didn’t like the field trip. Why do you think you didn’t get to learn anything or see anything? Give me the information to back up your opinion! I’d also like you to tell me what field trip would be a better use of our time and money.

          I am excited to read your ideas in the morning. Remember, it is great to have opinions, but you have to back them up with information and facts!!

Thanks,
                                                                                  Mrs. Moreland

    

       

Mixed Feelings

We had a field trip today (my first as a "real teacher"). And it was SPLENDID. I love watching the kids experience new things, learn new things, go new places. I even enjoyed listening to their conversations on the bus rides to and from Jeff City. I did NOT enjoy the fact that busses make me sick. And the ride to Jeff City makes me sick. So, therefore, the bus ride to Jeff City had me feeling pretty nauseous from about 8:45 to ... well, I still am. And we've been off the bus for over an hour. :P. BUT that didn't effect our day - and we had a wonderful time.

Experiences like this help me remember why I love teaching:

They were doing MATH (long division in fact) on the window!

This is my favorite room in the capital - and I LOVED watching the kids listen and stare in amazement at the pictures!

Lots of walking meant the kids were pretty sure they were going to die of hunger ... thankfully Mrs. Giacolone had done this field trip before and new to bring snacks!

We ran into another group (2 of our other 4th grade classes) on our way to the Governor's Mansion -- you'd have thought the kids never get to see each other! ha!

Listening at the Governor's Mansion

Checking out the awesome museum!

Conked out on the bus ride home =)

Class picture!

My mixed feelings?! We don't teach social studies. There is no way to make that sound better than it is. Yes, I try with all my heart to "squeeze it in" to our CA class ... I try to pick reading passages that touch on government issues, bring in current events, teach history ... but it is NOT the same as having a time set aside for teaching social studies. And they desperately need that time. We went on this awesome field trip. My kids learned all kinds of stuff. But, when the lovely tour guides asked them questions like "Do you know who this picture is of? He was the only president from Missouri..." they didn't know the answer. And then the tour guides look at you like "uh, lady, did you know your kids don't know history?!" and you feel like the worst teacher of the century. Seriously. I OWE my kids more than that. They deserve to know. They NEED to know! *those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it*. 

So, while I definitely LOVED our field trip and am excited to talk to my kids about it tomorrow (we got back to school at 3:02 pm which left us zero time to talk about our day!), it also left me feeling a little sad and a touch guilty. Or a lot sad and a ton guilty, whichever :S. 

Guess I'll look for more time, more ways to "squeeze in" more social studies. Because seriously, "Science" is NOT an acceptable answer to the question "What do you learn in social studies" (that one wasn't in my class ... but still!!)

How do YOU cover everything you know your kiddos need to learn?! Any and all great tips welcome!!!

Flexing

      PDC days, days where all the teachers have meetings and therefore no kids at school, always begin with me excited for a "break" and a chance to visit with coworkers and leave me wishing we'd just had kids instead! ha! Okay, so the meetings aren't that bad really ... its just complete and total information overload. My brain starts to shut down. I get sleepy. Lots of coffee is consumed. I generally end up surviving.

      Today was no different. BUT today we did make a major decisions: we are going to attempt, try, experiment with, flexing in our 4th grade Communication Arts classes. (bring out the whistles and streamers people, this is BIG news) Our math teachers have been flexing for a while now and loving it (at least mostly!). Math and Comm Arts/ELA are very, very different. And, they demand very different approaches. I can preach you a whole sermon on it. But, in an effort to always do "what's best for kids" we decided today we should jump (at least temporarily) on this bandwagon and give it a fair shake since it seems to be working for other people.

      Flexing is when students are grouped by ability - since there are 3 fourth grade CA teachers, we will have 2 high groups, 2 medium groups, and 2 low groups. The idea behind this is you can really give each group what they need -- more self driven things for your "high flyers", more broken down and teacher led things for those that struggle. Give kids things on the level they are at so that they can excel more.

      I really struggle with this idea. In my own classroom, I do some things (lit circles) by level. That gives me an opportunity to have kids reading books that are on their own level with other peers who can also read those books. But, for most things, I like mixed-ability grouping. This gives low kids a chance to learn from a high kid, and higher kids a chance to learn to work with lower kids AND deepen their own understanding by explaining things. Kids need the opportunity to learn from each other. They need to have deep and meaningful discussions together. When you flex between classes you can still mix within your own group a little bit, but its much more limited. It might be good -- maybe some of the "lower kids" will emerge as leaders in a different group/mix of kids. Maybe it will backfire on us.

      The nice thing is we are trying this for our next unit -- if it doesn't work, we just won't do it again! Simple as that! If it flops, we'll go back to doing things they way we have been. If it works, then that's just peachy too.

       The terrifying things for me? I'm going to have "the low group". Which I am ... apprehensive about. Can I give them what they need? Can I break things down enough? Can I challenge them without overwhelming them? Can I find a balance between "teacher led" and "student driven" that will suit the group? Can I maintain structure in a group that "potentially" has some not so splendid behaviors? Am I really ready to re-tackle the "beginning of the year" teaching of rules and expectations in my classroom? Will I be a good co-teaching partner for Mrs. P (our SpEd inclusion teacher) since I've never co-taught before? How many parent phone calls will I have to field as students and parents question why they have a new Comm Arts teacher? Will the kids that I won't have any more adjust quickly to a different teachers room? Will they be as awesome for another teacher as they have been for me?

        It is seriously like the beginning of the year all over again. Only maybe worse because this time I know what I am getting in to ... eeek!

        So we'll see how it goes. I'm excited. I'm apprehensive. I'm glad we're trying it. I'm scared we won't like it. I'm relieved we can start by calling it "temporary" for 1 unit, 1 quarter, or 1 year until we decide if we want it to be permanent or not. I'm just a bundle of emotions. Which is actually causing quite the pit in my stomach!

      Mostly I am thankful to be part of a team of teachers who are willing and excited to always try to do what is best for kids. No matter how much work it is for us. I'm thankful the ladies I work with will be willing to help me on this new venture. I'm thankful they will be willing to re-evaluate and change things if they don't work. I'm thankful they will be non-judgmental when I mess up and when I ask for help ... because trust me, I will.

       It's a giant leap off the deep end. It's a crazy experiment. It's an adventure. It's a test of what I believe as an educator. It's done in the name of finding "What's best for kids". If it is best for them, it will be wonderful. If its not, we won't do it for long.

        Hopefully I'll get some sleep between now and then. I'm thinking I'll need it!

What are your thoughts on flexing?

crazy week

       I really had every intention of writing on this blog regularly ... silly me! =) Guess you'll have to be content with a random word every now and then!

        School really IS going well. I have a (mostly) fantastic class. Of course, we have our moments of being less than awesome, but for the most part, the rock!  I am loving watching them become better readers and writers as well as better group members, friends, and people. They are all so unique and funny and smart in their own way, it is a blast getting to know them!
 
        This particular week was doomed to be crazy as it was my first experience with parent teacher conferences. I only had a couple that I was "worried about", and they both went splendidly. In fact, Monday and Tuesday's conferences were easy-peasy. Then, Tuesday as I was leaving school my sister called to tell me dad had called the ambulance for himself and thought he might be having a heart attack. Eek! Dad has a lot of "health problems" - asthma  past heart issues, hypothyroidism, tracheomalacia, all kinds of things. So we don't mess around with his health. Robbie and I met everyone at the Rolla hospital (and waited and waited). Dad seemed fine and the Rolla people didn't find anything wrong as far as they could tell, but since the Nitro he took had eased the pressure and he has a history (his own personal and his family) of heart problems, they sent him on to Springfield for more testing. Mom and I followed the ambulance up and got to Springfield about 12:30 AM. We spent Tuesday night and Wednesday night sleeping in the most comfortable chairs the hospital had to offer.....yeah.....

       Everything checked out okay with dad - he had a follow up appointment with his normal doc today and they are exploring some options like esophagus spasms that could cause 'heart attack like' symptoms. I am super blessed to teach with a wonderful team of teachers who, without second thought, made sure sub plans made it onto my desk Wednesday and Thursday AND covered my parent teacher conferences for me as well as doing their own. Simply amazing. I left early Thursday morning to get back to STJ and take a brief nap before doing my last 9 conferences Thursday night (Heather drove up to get mom and dad home once dad was released).

       So, nothing but blessings this week really ... but I am very tired! ha! So, I was thankful for today off and a husband who left for work quietly so I could sleep in =). Now its a relaxing night of Cardinal's game watching, and (if I get motivated), some lesson planning.

       Thanks for everyone who prayed for daddy while we were unsure what was going on, and for all the texts, calls, and offers for help! We are blessed to have a wonderful support system of friends and family and were lucky to have wonderful doctors and nurses along the way, too! Even in scary moments, God never ceases to amaze me -- He is so great!

Blessed

I love that when life is crazy, something always happens to remind me how blessed I am. Sunday morning as I was getting ready for church, Grandma called. She sounded stressed and said "uh, are you almost ready to go?" I was, and asked what she needed "Well", she said, "Could you go sit with Uncle Rusty? They just got back from the ER with his back, and Alisha needs to go get his prescriptions filled but doesn't want to leave him alone". I immediately agreed, but did wander why she wasn't doing it (because normally she would jump on that herself!) "I would go" she said "but they just took Jacob to the hospital thinking he will need his appendix taken out, and I need to meet them to pick up Joshua". And, with that, our Sunday was off and running!

Jacob did have to have his appendix out Sunday afternoon. He is recovering nicely at home and enjoying a couple of days off of school. :) I am thankful appendix removal is such an easy, routine procedure with a quick recovery - it is hard to keep at 4th grade boy down for long!

Uncle Rusty is still having some back pain, but I think is some improved! He has several doctor and chiropractor appointments, so hopefully they will get him worked out soon!

I loved sitting with Uncle Rusty. Okay, so by "sitting with" I mean he laid in bed (on his stomach because his back was hurting on a LOT of pain med so he wasn't very talkative) and I sat quietly in the living room so as not to disturb him, checking on him every 30 minutes or so. So, not a lot going on. I did my own thing, read, worked on some school stuff, prayed ... and I realized (as I do many, many times) how lucky I am to be a part of such a wonderful family. A family who is there for each other. A family who lit up my phones with texts asking how Uncle Rusty was and if I had news about Jacob. A family who always offers to help. A family who genuinely wants to help. A family who thinks to call *me* because they know I want to help.

Family is an awesome thing. I am blessed.

I was also very blessed to make it to Church Sunday evening to hear this sermon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF0mATW6VC0

I cannot speak highly enough of my brother-in-law's speaking ability! He is a great preacher and a very knowledgeable man. This lesson was perhaps "aimed" at the younger generation, but is definitely wonderful for everyone to listen as it focuses on a few key things like self esteem, remembering God in your youth, and not waiting till its too late. Great sermon -- check it out!

Treading Water

     I seriously think I am getting *worse* at separating from school as the year goes on. How is that  POSSIBLE?! This was supposed to get BETTER not WORSE. eeeek! I hate feeling like I cannot turn my brain off -- like there is always something I need to be doing. I have like little baby panic attacks all the time ... and I need to get. over. it. end of story.

      My class is actually going really well! I feel like I am as successful as any first year teacher ... my class seems to be getting the things I teach them, there scores on every test we've taken is okay, their behavior is in check (well, most of the time...), but I constantly feel like there is something I'm not doing, or something I'm not doing well enough.

      Like I'm not so much swimming as I am barely treading water. 

     On the bright side, I'll take barely treading water over drowning any day.

     It's not like the rest of my life is suffering - I hang out with friends, I spend time with my hubby, my house is *mostly* clean, my laundry as caught up as it ever gets ... but this feeling of uneasiness  or not quite being good enough is just always there in the back of my mind. And I genuinely LOVE my job. I love my kids. I love my coworkers. I love teaching. I just need to find a way to chill out a bit. Or a lot a bit.

     The frustrating thing is, I don't know what to *DO*. I am a "doer". I like to do things. See a problem? Fix it. Think of something that would be good? Get it done. But right now, I feel like I'm doing everything I should be / can be. So there is nothing more for me to do. Except there probably is, I just can't think of it right now. argh!

     So, that means more prayers for peace of mind, for inspiration, for better sleep, and for help remembering I am a first year teacher and that's okay and I'll get better and things will get easier. And until then? A hot bath to help me relax and an early bedtime so I can be at school *early* to figure out what else I need to do.... =)

     Hopefully (although quite possibly *doubtfully*) your life is going a little slower than mine and is a little more stress free ... but even if your life is as crazy as mine right now, I hope you are loving it as much as I am! No matter how stressed I am, I do love my job, and I have a job to love, and I have great people in my life to share it all with - so I am one blessed girl!

love

Sooo, you know those people who have the awesome blogs that they update daily (or a couple times a week) and they always have lots of cute pictures and tons of awesome stories and seem to have endless time to spend sitting at a computer working on their blog to make it so awesome? Yeah ... so not my life. Sorry.

I wish I knew how they did it. Me? I just swept and mopped my floors. And, judging by the amount of dirt, it has been way to long since the last time I did. Wooops. Seriously, though ... I keep saying "life is a balancing act" -- and right now, the hard wood floors having a little bit of dirt just isn't the thing tipping the scales! I DO miss writing out my thoughts though, so, hope you are ready for a random string of thoughts, because here goes:

School is good. I have a fantabulous class. Seriously, great kids. Of course there are a couple that ... well, lets just say there lives would probably be different if they were my child, but hey, we are figuring each other out and getting along just fine. We do fun things. Friday, we had a poetry slam. Seriously, we wrote some awesome poetry, I took in a microphone, spotlight, music, and refreshments -- we turned the lights off, set up a "stage" and shared our poetry "poetry slam" style. And they loved it. Because I am an awesome teacher like that.  ;) haha. Of course, there are days when I realize I still have no idea what I'm doing ... in fact, most days have moments like that. But I am, so far, able to fool the kids into thinking I am very confident, so hey! We'll make it.

I love every minute of it.

"real life" is good, too! We've had 3 baby showers, 2 wedding showers, 2 of the sweetest baby boys born, 2 more baby showers to have in the next month or two (uh, lots of babies around....), the grape and fall festival / street market, the Pig Roast, and enough crazyness to last us a while!

and, I love every minute of it.

Already I know our next Saturday is all booked up, and the Saturday after that we are celebrating the September b-days in my family with a fish fry. Of course, I haven't bought any birthday presents yet, so ... we need to get on that! Throw into the mix that I am constantly grading papers (right now there is a large stack of folders staring me in the face and a pile of rubrics beside them waiting to be filled out). Lulu is eating the keyboard as I try to type. The washing machine kicked off and I need to go throw the clothes into the dryer. My cellphone has rang 4 times while typing (because my family is awesome).

I love every minute of it.

Seriously! It's busy. * occasionally* I have moments where I strongly consider saying "no more! I'm going to bed! Turn the phones off!". But, then we go to the next thing and I'm so glad we did. Or, I sweep my floors and after realizing how gross they really were, I feel so much better knowing they are clean! Or, I get to school at 6:45 to set up for a crazy poetry slam, but when the kids enjoy it so much, it makes it all worth it!

I don't know if life really every slows down. I do know that I'm getting better at handling it. For one thing, when I get out of school I don't literally feel like dying. And, the fact that I need to cook dinner when I get home no longer feels like the end of the world (it kind of did for the first week or two of school -- ha!). So, I'd say we are improving! Life is a balancing act. I'm getting better at balancing. And I am loving figuring things out.

If you've read all the way to this point ... go you! You survived a whole lot of rambling, probably some misspellings, and definitely some poorly written sentences ... I'm not on teacher duty right now, you know ;) ha! I don't *really* know what the point of this was, except to let you know I am still alive! I still *want* to get better at blogging. I still have an unexplainable need to write down my thoughts. I still want to share my life with you. AND I am still incredibly thankful for all my blessings and am so glad to be serving such a wonderful God!

Hope all is well with you, too! I promise a more uplifting, thought provoking, "real" blog post soon!

Finger_____

I KNOW what you are thinking "why, oh why, are we looking at a picture of your hands?" Strange way to start a blog post, I get it. But did you notice?

I have NAILS!!!! 

I don't like spending money on "frivolous" things.  Okay, okay, that would be a lie. I LOVE spending money on frivolous things ... but only on frivolous things that have a point. HA! I like to buy flowers to freshen up my pots (something I really need to do by the way...). That's frivolous-ish. Not completely necessary, but it makes our house look nice. I like to buy people gifts. That's frivolous - except for the fact that it shows how much I care! I like to spend money. BUT  I try not to spend money on "frivolous things" for myself .... 

So, when my momma said I should get my nails done, I was like "ehh...". Getting one's nails done is largely frivolous. Getting one's nails done takes a lot of time - like an hour and a half every other week (I'm not just getting painted - we're talking fake, fake, fake, because I chew my nails off - one of the only bad things I "got" from my wonderful momma). Getting one's nails done takes $$$$$ 35 for the first set. 25 for upkeep. Some places might be cheaper (?) but my girl does an absolutely fantabulous job. However, with the whole "you are going to be a teacher..." thing, I figured mom was right. And I got my nails done. Not just once, but like every other week for a couple of months. eek!

Here is what I decided ... having nails is GREAT. Shannon (my nail lady who ALSO happens to be my hair lady...) is helping me on my "12 step program" (ha! Nail biting is *seriously* like kicking an addiction!). We did fake nails. For a long time. I broke them, she fixed them. And my nails did something awesome -- they GREW. Who knew?! Then my nails got long enough we did "less fake" nails - just a thin layer of the acrylic. And they are awesome. And now, those nails you see in the picture, are (mostly) MINE. All mine. No fakeyness! I say "mostly" because a few of them still have the thin layer of acrylic on them because my appointment with Shannon when she will take off the acrylic and give me a nice "real nail" manicure isn't till Thursday ... I am just really good at breaking fake nails and popping them off (oops...). 

Having my own nails is awesome. Not biting them (hopefully) lets me look more confident ... which turns out is IMPORTANT when you are a nervous first year teacher! Not biting them (hopefully) will help me stay healthier - germs are icky. Think of all the germs on those fingers I was sticking in my mouth! bleh! Not biting my nails makes my hands look prettier. Not biting my nails is great. Shoulda done that a long time ago. ha!

Now, my nails are still super flimsy - these things don't get fixed over night! So we are doing lots of nail straightener and *hoping* they don't break! I file them a lot - make sure they stay painted - because I am worried that if they chip or break I will start picking at them and slip back into my nail biting ways ... so if you see me filing away, try not to laugh! Remember, it's just a part of my 12 step program... ;).

first

Day 1 was a success! Exhausting, perhaps, but a success none-the-less. =) It is amazing to me how quickly you can bond with 22 kids. I already feel so attached to each of them. Some of them are going to drive me crazy - I know that. Some of them can't stand still in line and don't know how to be quiet. They will learn. They will get better. They are all so eager - eager to be liked, eager to be praised, eager to be "good". And they ARE good. They are, in fact, fantastic! And they will get better -- we will get better.

There was absolutely no point in the day that I felt clueless or stressed. Which was AWESOME. Everything ran smoothly, and while we may have been 2 minutes late for recess, that was okay because it was just an extra recess and the kids don't know the schedule well enough to call me on it anyway =).

Tomorrow we switch classes for the first time and I'll get to meet 25 more kiddos that will come to me for comm arts. That means I'll have 47 kids that rely on me to help them with reading and writing. Most of whom don't really like reading and writing. And that is scary! But it's also exciting, and thrilling, and brings me sooo much joy that I can't imagine doing anything else.

Sooo, day one down, only ? more to go. A lot. too many. But we'll have fun filling them up =).

Next up: Day 2. Then baby shower. Then the first full week. And *hopefully* lots and lots of sleep. It'ts 8:50 -- I'm going to bed. That's what a first day does to a first year teacher. But that's okay, because it's awesome. =).

Becka

I am *slightly* opinionated about education. (Those of you who only know me as a "first year teacher" don't be fooled -- I'll get warmed up soon ;) Seriously. I know what I think, feel, believe, and I am not afraid to tell you about it. Therefore, there are a lot of people I don't quite agree with. (I know, I know, you're shocked!). In college this fact was definitely confirmed. Put me in a room with a bunch of other "teacher-to-be's" and we can sure have some good *ahem* discussions.

Enter Becka Braker. We met in a math class when we partnered up for a project (random side note, I only asked Becka to be my partner because I was pretty sure she lived in my dorm and I was tooo lazy to want to be partners with someone I'd have to drive or walk to meet up with! Turns out she didn't live in my dorm, but did visit her best friend there a lot ....). Best. Decision. Ever. We ended up being partners for lots of things. And (thankfully for me!) becoming friends!

Becka and I agree on ... I'm just gonna go with everything. We have a lot of the same ideas about education. We share a lot of the same beliefs. We even have a lot of the same ideas (although hers usually come out with a bit more *bam! I'm awesome!* than mine!). And I adore her. I love her because we agree (ha!) - but mostly I love her because she is seriously out to change the world. I mean, come on. How can you not love someone who answers the question "why did you want to be a teacher?" with "Because being a Ninja Turtle just didn't work out and this is the next best thing". Seriously. She said that. Awesome.

ANYWHO, Becka is one of a kind - a ball of energy. She is so eager to help every kid and she has a special place in her heart for what I would call "hard cases". And that's why I want you to take a look at this: Her Project.

Becka and I are going to have very different experiences as 1st year teachers even though we are both teaching 4th grade ... because while I am blessed to teach in a school district with tons of books, lots of resources (I mean, really - I got my own ipad!), Becka got brave and dove into being an educator in a district where she is hunting up her own books and trying to teach kids to like reading. And if anybody can do it, she can. But she needs a hand. Maybe your hand.

I *know* Becka's life hasn't always gone exactly according to plan - but she is doing amazing things along her new path. A path that took her away from Springfield to New Orleans of all places!  I can't wait to hear her stories (and there WILL BE some awesome one!). Most of all, I am so excited for all the kids who get to have her as a teacher, mentor, and friend. Because if she can influence me as much as she did, how awesome is she going to be for 4th graders?!

BUT she can't do it alone! Even Ninja Turtles need help sometimes =).

Crazytown

It has begun! Thursday and Friday I spent my days in meetings - and Monday and Tuesday will be more of the same! My new teacher brain is suffering from a *bit* of overload -- but I'm sure it could be worse....

I am, of course, loving every minute of it. Even the crazy "oh my goodness I don't know what I'm doing" moments like yesterday when I was meeting with a few other teachers and I said "Okay, someone please tell me you feel as lost as I do right now. Even if you have to lie to me ... seriously". Sometimes you just need to hear that you aren't crazy, that other people are still figuring things out too! I am soo blessed to have two other ladies teaching 4th grade comm arts with me that  have tons of knowledge experience! annnndd it helps that they are super sweet and awesome and willing to help me :).

Tuesday night is open house, and that is *honestly* the only part I'm really "nervous" about. I can handle kids - they don't scare me. But parents? eek! Just a bit intimidating! Poor Robbie has only witnessed one or two "freak out" moments when things weren't working right. Thankfully he is a technology genius and has been able to work through all my technology bobbles and get everything running smoothly for me. Love him.

Today we did things like wal*mart (blech!) and Aldies (which was insanely busy...). I knew today (Saturday AND tax holiday) would not be a fun time to be in Rolla (and it definitely wasn't), BUT it is so nice to have our shopping done for a while! And when we got home I cleaned house (as soon as I get the sheets out of the dryer and back on the bed I'll be DONE). NOW I can focus on school and just "keep up" at home till I get in the school routine - and THAT is a very good feeling.

So, this post was incredibly random and rambley (my bad) ... So, I'll end it random too:

Look who has been hanging out in the "house" the last couple of days ... uh, anybody want a java finch if we end up with babies?! (that would be my luck....) ha!

Call me crazy...

...because I probably am. But I am so. in. love.

Meet my 3 new babies. They are Java Finches (also known as Java Rice Finches and Java Sparrows). And they are AWESOME. They make the coolest little noises (clicking, whirring, singing) and are so fun to watch! I *think* we have one male and two females -- but it is really hard to tell the gender, so I'm not positive. Regardless, these guys are fun ... and so, they are going in to school with me.

That's right people, we are going to have a class pet. 3 of them. And they are birds. Like I said, feel free to call me crazy.

I was never, ever a bird lover. I actually thought they were icky (all that poop!) and I was kind of scared of them. And then I got married to a cockatiel lover and this happened:

It didn't take long for Lulu to become my baby. She rides on my shoulder, my hand, chases our toes and sings to them (she's a little weird...), talks to us (she says actual words!), and is actually a lot of company. I adore her. She does poop a lot. And everywhere. But the poop doesn't stink and it wipes up easy. She does screech sometimes which gets annoying (especially when she gets excited because we have people over), but she usually just needs a little attention and she's good to go.

Now good things about the finches:
                  They will stay in their cage. Unlike Lulu, they are not "finger tamed" birds, so the kids won't handle them. Since they are for "watching only", their poop will be contained to their cage. Which is excellent.
                   Lulu throws her seed when she eats (she breaks seed with her beak and one half usually ends up on my floor. She also throws seed at you to get your attention. Seriously. My Javas? nooo seed throwing = less of a mess for me to sweep up constantly!
                   Java's are quiet. Their noises are adorable, but quiet. Nooo screeching. So, they shouldn't be *too* distracting once the kids get used to them being around.
                   They don't stink! Bird poop may be gross, but it doesn't stink. I will clean it frequently, but in between cleanings there won't be a smell which is a huge plus!
                    These particular birds are hardy. Not all birds are. But these guys can handle fairly warm and fairly cold temperatures, so they will be okay at school (even if the heat or air goes off for a few hours!) They, of course, will come home with me over long breaks, but not weekends!


DISCLAIMER:
    I know, know, know pets are a lot of work. I *tried and tried* to talk myself out of getting a class pet. Or at least waiting. But, these guys were such a good deal (50 for the three birds and their cage!). And they are so neat and unusual. And most of all, I firmly believe pets are essential for kids. I blame my mother for this part - she has always had a class pet (her current pets are fish and a chinchilla!). Kids need to interact with animals and learn how to respect them. It will give us a science lesson or 20, lots of things to write about, a geography lesson, the list goes on and on. AND (with guidance) the kids will learn responsibility when they help feed and water and even clean! Plus, class pets are just plain awesome - and I'm not the only person that thinks so! Read about them here!

Progress

My momma had the brilliant idea to turn this awkward space taking beam into my word wall :)

Remember these cute crate seats? They look even better in my room! ;)

I LOVE writers workshop. It is like my favorite thing EVER - so a writer's workstation is a must have.

Ignore the messy pile at bottom left - I still haven't gotten rid of all my extra books yet! But, thanks to my seester, my library looks AWESOME. And since our reading theme is "Shoot for the stars ... read!" I made a poster and hung the planets up (which are hard to see in the picture).

I love my desk ($50 yard sale find because there wasnt one in my room before), but I HAVE to find a way to make all the nasty cords look at least a little bit nicer...

Student computers - 10 in all.

cubbys and my lovely shelves (that empty space will soon be taken up, don't worry).

AAAAANNNNDDD since mom and I both needed a break from school, THIS is how we spent our evening: