Prioritizing: More God

The other day I was talking *priorities* with a friend. As we discussed motherhood and family and God and careers and laundry, we kept coming back to the fact that it is hard - I mean, HARD - to keep priorities straight and in line all the time.

It's easy to *name* my priorities in the right order. My list is usually unarguable. However, the way I spend my time doesn't always support (or even relatively match) the order I listed things in.

As a working Momma I'm sure you can guess that I often find taking care of my girls, our family, my house (and all that goes along with a house), and my job often vying for their spot on the list. Unfortunately, at times they are all even vying for first place on the list.

It is my constant resolution to have "more God". More worship. More study. More quiet, contemplative moments. More prayer. More service.

That isn't changing (in fact, it will likely remain my constant resolution, because, let's be honest, I will never reach a point where I've fully reached that goal).

However, I had a "revelation" as I thought back on our conversation.

I live a beautifully busy life. I *DO* need to aim for "more God" by setting aside time for my own growth and relationship with Him. However, I also need to focus on "more God" by placing him as a priority IN each other aspect of my life, instead of as a separate item on my list.

I need "more God" in my marriage. We aim for a God centered marriage - I aim to be a Godly wife - and those things take work. Sometimes it's a prayer for patience or guidance for a situation we share together. Sometimes it's a prayer for patience on our own (ha). Often it's a prayer of thankfulness or a prayer for an open heart and eyes to see the ways I need to be his helpmeet so we can both do better. My marriage isn't separate form God - He is the focus of it.

I need "more God" as I play with my girls. As I teach them. As I take care of them. He needs to be our priority, not just mine ... And goodness knows I need Him to help me be the Momma I want to be! As the girls go through stages I find myself praying for guidance and wisdom. They bring out my prayers for guidance and strength more than anything else I've ever done. My "Momma-hood" is far from separate from God ... It is dependent on Him!

I need "more God" in our home. I need a Godly attitude when doing the laundry and dishes. I need more thankfulness as I go about my "daily duties". I need scriptures written on the bathroom mirror to remind me of the attitude I want to have as I go through my day. I need to sing songs of praise as I fold the laundry. I strive to have a house I can always welcome anyone into - and pray often to get myself together and truly open my home to others. Keeping my house isn't *separate* from God - it needs to be *for* God.

I need *more God* in my job. I have contact with so many people during the day - and I don't always make proper use of that contact. I strive to reach out to others with patience and kindness and a boost of love whenever I can - but I kiss opportunities and I fail to see needs. I pray often for help keeping my opinionated mouth shut and my heart open. I work towards a more God focused and more God reflective attitude. I do not hide my beliefs, faith, and morals, but I sometimes she away from chances to speak out about them ... And I need to do better at that. My job is not *separate* from God, it is a chance to let His light shine.

I *need* more God in my friendships. I often neglect my friendships ... I think because I view them as being "for me" and therefore something that I can set aside when our life is hectic and ai am taking care of my family. However, I am working on reaching out more for a lot of reasons. For my sanity and for others. I have wonderful people in my life and I want them to know I think they are wonderful. We need each other so that we can help one another grow and focus on God. The conversation prompting this post is proof. Friendship isn't *separate* from God, it is a gift from Him and a tool that can help me (and help me help others) for Him!

I think so much comes down to truly *living* a God centered life ... One with Him at the top of the list, but also truly in the center of everything else. Trying to separate God out, or compartmentalize Him, doesn't work. It leads to frustration, not enough time, and, more importantly, it leads to entire areas of my life I'm leaving God out of. What area of my world doesn't need my God? I cannot think of one.

So, while I will continue striving for more quite moments of study and personal growth ... I'm also going to focus on remembering God from moment to moment and looking for all the ways He needs to be right in the middle of all the things I do.

Whispers of Good

It seems our country (world?) has had a lot of bad things happen lately. As I as thinking about several of the current events on our world, our country, our town, this thought kept coming back to me: so often the bad is also the loud.

In my 4th grade classroom I sometimes catch kiddos doing something "bad". As you can imagine I am often able to catch them because when they do something "bad" they also get loud. Pick on a neighbor? They react. Throw a paper airplane? Someone giggles. Not paying attention? The whispered giggles give you away. Fighting? Loud. Mean words? Loud reactions.

It's sometimes harder for me to catch the good things. Because stopping to help their neighbor pick up a dropped pencil in quiet. Pointing to where we are in a book to a friend that lost their spot is silent. Doing their work? Soft. Holding the door for someone else? Silent.

Bad often shouts. Good often whispers.

School shootings. Assault charges. Abuse charges. Abortion debates. Murder. Theft. Bullying. Natural disasters. Threats. They are all loud. They catch attention. They demand attention. We talk about them. We dwell on them. We can't look away.

But just because there is bad doesn't mean their isn't good. It's just that good doesn't always proclaim itself.

Taking dinner to new neighbors. Helping out a friend. Holding the door for a stranger. Paying for someone's groceries. Donating to a good cause. Heading up a good cause. Looking out for children. Being there for those in need. Reaching out to others. Helping. Supporting. Praying. Doing. Being. A smile. A kind word. They are quiet. They are easily overlooked. They go without notice and seldom make the news. But they happen. And they count. They just whisper.

Today I watched a kiddo get left out. She was immediately upset. And she started to get loud. But before I even had a chance to react I saw 3 different kids from around my room notice her. And so I waited. And they - my 9&10 year olds - included her. And after the activity was over I said "hey! What did ya think of that?" And she said "I liked it! I liked that they helped me figure it out and worked with me."

She didn't remember the bad. She remembered the good.

I can't fix or stop the bad. But I can start out numbering the bad with good.

Bad things will still happen in my classroom. But I can teach my kiddos to respond and overcome that bad with good.

I can't protect my own kiddos from bad. But I can help them look for the good. And I can raise them to help be part of the good.

I don't necessarily want to down play the bad. It needs to be examined. To be thought about and discussed. But I  do want to amplify the good. To highlight it - spotlight it - hold a megaphone to it.

I may not be able to make the bad quieter ... But I can make the good louder.

#findthegood #bethegood #shoutoutthegood

This Stage

Tonight I wanted to go to church. It's my goal every Wednesday night. It hasn't happened in weeks.

Sunday evening I wanted to sit through the entire sermon AND listen. Instead I caught pieces of it ... And called only going out once a win.

Monday I meant to do laundry and spend some time with my hubby. Instead we passed girls back and forth and then I collapsed into bed.

My kids are awesome. I love my job. I have a huge support in my husband and our extended family. But this stage, oh this stage is hard.

This stage is a teething 4 month old and an emotional 3 year old. This stage is calming irrational fears like "I don't want any bears to get me!" And "I don't want the racoons to eat my friends like they did my chickens!". This stage is carrying a baby in one arm and making messy handprints with paint with the other hand.

This stage is saying "whisper" and "use your quiet voice" and "sit still" 72 times a church service. It's unspoken prayers of "please let the baby sleep for a while". It's a bedtime routine that takes 2 hours only to end in sad shouts of "you left me in my bed alone mommy!" as little feet stomp accross the house to my room at 1:00 AM. It's getting up 6 or 7 times a night and then dragging myself out of bed at 5 to get everyone out the door while running on way less sleep than I'd like. It's collapsing into my own bed (after my hubby wakes me up to tell me to get out of the 3 year olds bed to go to my own) all to aware of the jobs around my house that are left undone.

This stage is mountains of laundry and piles of baby toy clutter. It's balancing "that's enough time on your tablet" with " give me 2 more minutes of peace". Its showering quickly while at least one girl waits for me. It's a dog who just wants someone to throw his ball  or let him outside. It's staying in in the evenings to keep our colds to ourselves and keep ourselves able to keep going.

This stage is balancing a job I love and a mommy-hood that means the world to me, and often feeling I should be better at both. It's grading papers at home when I should be playing. It's pumping at school when I should be working. It's seldom knowing the right answers. It's forgetting silly things and losing my phone frequently because there is so much rolling around in my brain. It's struggling to prioritize and remember everything for everyone. It's eating out to much because grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning up often seem like a whole lot of time and work. This stage is constantly being reminded I do not have everything (or even very much!) all figured out.

This stage is exhausting and messy and sometimes hard. But oh, this stage is beautiful too.

Beautiful because I get to watch my husband be a daddy and be awesome at it. Beautiful because my girls grin at their Nana and hug on their cousins. Beautiful because my big one loves my little one and wants to hold her and sing to her. Beautiful because I get to read stories and sing silly songs. Beautiful becauese I get to do sooo much playing and dancing.

It's beautiful to be reminded of the awe in *everything* through a child's eyes. Beautiful to hear "I missed you Mommy, I love you." Beautiful to see my girls learning about God and hear Lydia repeat her adorable take on Bible stories. Beautiful watching Lydia make friends and to see her love for others. Beautiful Raina's baby smiles and fun baby "firsts".

Beautiful because I get to be a part of these tiny humans. I get to help them grow and learn and find God. Beautiful because it drives me to pray more and praise God more. It reminds me to be silly and constantly practices my patience. Beautiful because I'm reminded of all the help I have and all the people that have put in to me and are now putting into my girls. It's small parenting "wins" when we catch ourselves doing ssomething right. It's family time and memory making. It's a joyful kind of tired and the kind of crazy that leaves us counting our blessings. It's beautiful.

And so tonight I'll send my hubby to church, and I'll stay home. I'll hold a clingy, teething baby and play with/practice coping skills with a congested, emotional, overtired 3 year old. I may start a load of laundry .... But I may not. And either way, it's okay.

I'll hug my babies. I'll draw inspiration from the mom's who have proved this stage can be lived splendidly ... I'll lean on the momma's who are doing this stage with me ... And I'll remember to love *almost* every single minute of this stage.

Because this stage may be exhaustion times 20 and occasionally feeling so "needed" that I can't breath ... But it's also love times a million and, as I'm constantly reminded when Lydia says "when I'm big I will _____ all by myself!", this stage is fleetingly short.

Enjoy Life

Stop and smell the coffee
Take a sip, relax
Dont dwell on the uncertain,
Focus only on the facts

Close your eyes a moment
Take a bit to breath
Clear your mind a little
Then listen close to me

This world is crazy darling
With busyness galore
With jobs and friends and family
Want-tos, needs, and more

Sometimes we start to spiral
As the world spins all around
And the many pressures that we feel
Weigh our shoulders down.

We rush through days unseeing
Keeping our blinders on
And in attempt to block distractions
We find it's the good that's gone.

As we climb the ladders
Work to please everyone else
We forget to look around us
And take a minute for ourselves.

We hustle and we bustle
And we scarcely stop to breath
Or to help a neighbor
Or blow off a little steam

Sometimes we go until we find
We're over cooked, burnt out
Or worse, we explode because we're broken,
Left with only tears or shouts

So instead of pushing through this
What if you stop and take some time
To rest and wish and think and breath
Oh dear friend of mine?

Look around at beauty-
It surrounds you every day
Let it calm you and remind you
That there are better ways.

For rushing here and all around
Only gets us just so far
Sometimes a slow, more peaceful pace
Can get us to the stars.

If you'll pause to dream and wonder
And wander a bit more, too...
If you'll slow the pace your life has
And to yourself be a bit more true

Your heart will be more happy
You'll dance and laugh and sing
And oh, to those around you,
So much more joy you'll chance to bring.

So stop and smell the coffee,
Or the roses, or the like ...
And dare to breath a little
Remember to enjoy life.

Spilt Coffee

I was holding a cup of coffee in the hallway at school the other day as I greeted my kiddos. A sweet girl walked up behind me and bumped my arm and my cup jostled, spilling coffee onto the floor. She looked upset and started to apologize, when I assured her that it was not a big deal - we could easily clean up the mess with a few paper towels.


Perhaps just to remind me of God's timing and control, this event reminded me of an analogy I had seen only an hour or two earlier in the morning .... Why did coffee spill when the girl bumped my arm? Because she bumped me, you say? You're only partly right. 
When I was bumped, coffee spilled because I had coffee in my cup. Had I been drinking water instead, water would have been what spilled on the floor. 

Just like a cup spills if bumped, in the moments when we get jostled (both literally and figuratively) things come spilling out of us as well. It's easy enough for us to appear one way to the world when things are going easily ... but when life bumps and jostles you (and I assure you, it will), whatever is inside you is sure to be the same thing that spills out. Will it be anger ... hate ... frustration? Or goodness ... kindness .... love?

Only if we are *truly* filled with Godly things will godliness be what spills out of us.

2 Peter 1:5-11 tells us "But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble; for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." and Philipians 4:8 reminds us "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

As we go through our lives - both the easy moments and the challenging - let us study and pray and dwell on Godly things so that even when life's tumultuous moments shake us, all the right things can come spilling out.