Good Soil

Sunday morning my brother-in-law preached a wonderful sermon. It was a topic I'd heard sermons on before, but for some reason (possibly because my girls were actually being quiet and still, therefore, allowing me to listen....) I was able to think deeper this particular morning.

The topic was "The Parable of the Sower" from Matthew 13, and you can listen to it here. It's a good one, I promise!

This particular Sunday morning as I listened about the types of soil, I tried to make personal application by thinking about which type of soil MY heart is. The more I thought about it, the more thankful I became that God is willing to offer forgiveness.

I am on a constant journey to be the good soil at the end of the parable. In fact, I can tell you that most of the time I feel my heart IS the good soil. 

But sometimes, in far toooo many moments, I fall short.

Sometimes I am busy, or distracted, or simply don't understand something, and God's seed gets snatched or blown away before I allow it to take root (Mt. 13:4).

Sometimes I get excited about God's word and act quickly ... But don't give enough time and effort for things to take root, causing me to give up on, or lose sight of something before seeing it to the finish (Mt. 13:5-6).

Sometimes I have all the best intentions but let the cares and distractions of the world choke and beat them out (Mt. 13:7).

There have been days - seasons even - where my heart has got "stuck" being one of those types of soil. Because, as Josh points out in his sermon (that I really *hope* you listened to), what allows my heart to be the good soil from Mt. 13:8 is me making the choice to respond to God's word the way He intended. To use it the way it was intended to be used. To study it, and learn from it, and internalize it, and use it, and share it. It's a choice that needs made daily. It's a response that needs to be consistently made.

That choice isn't always easy. Sometimes I don't take the action I should. Sometimes I'm not thoughtful enough or patient enough. Sometimes I allow myself to get distracted. Sometimes I simply fall short.

How thankful am I for God's grace that allows me to make it through my weak moments so that I can repent and find my strength in Him again. How thankful am I for the people who make me think deeply and remind me to keep growing. How thankful am I each new morning for another chance to do better, to be better, so that through better soil, God can give an increase.

Mrs. Blackwell's Cookies

The other day I made lemon cream cheese cookies. They are my favorites ... Especially after being frozen for a while. They are light and delicious and full of nostalgia. You see, they are Mrs. Blackwell's cookies, and I'm pretty sure they taste like love.

When Heather and I were little we would often go with our parents to visit Mr. and Mrs. Blackwell. We'd sit in the living room visiting and playing with some old, big wooden trucks they had in a toybox, and, after some time, Mrs. Blackwell would head into the kitchen and come back with a plate of cookies. Sometimes, if it was a surprise visit, they'd still be cold as she had just pulled them out from the freezer. When we went Christmas caroling or trick-or-treating we might even get to bring some cookies home - that was extra special.

I think often of Mrs. Blackwell's cookies. Sometimes it's because I'm craving them (they really were delicious!), but more often it's because I'm craving that cozy living room and the much loved company. Those cookies to me represent love and welcome and hospitality. They bring me back to sitting on the floor surrounded by a roomfull of love. I can almost hear Mr. Blackwell talking about the cows or sharing a story about his sons ... Mrs. Blackwell updating us on what "those grandsons" were up to and asking Heather and I if we had any songs to sing them.

And the best part? I think *literally anyone* could have walked into the Blackwell's living room and been surrounded by the same quiet conversation, easily offered love, and probably fed a cookie or two as well. That's just who they were ... And they were wonderful.

I'm confident that always having cookies ready to serve was an intentional plan Mrs. Blackwell had, and I'm sure it wasn't always quite as effortless as it seemed. Wise women are like that, you know. However, I'm not sure she could have known how much of an impact she was making on a young me. I'm not sure she knew that years in the future If be making her cookies and telling my daughters all about her while I slipped a tupperware container full of cookies into the freezer for later.

 I'm not even sure she, or my parents, could have predicted that the Blackwell living room would still be a huge influence on my idea of hospitality. But, they just might have had some suspicions because it was a scene that was set repeatedly - one I wish I could have fully appreciated in the moment as much as I do now. 

 

I learn a lot from my memories of Mr. And Mrs. Blackwell. While I don't often have a container of homeade cookies ready to serve and my living room is currently louder and more chaotic than theirs ever was, we always have snacks and we're always up for a good conversation (especially if you can multi task and play baby dolls at the same time - ha). 

Mrs. Blackwell's cookies were delicious and I'm thankful my momma passed me the recipe, but her demonstration of love? That I pray I can duplicate as closely as possible. 

Drama Momma

I sometimes (jokingky) tell my school kids to "Save the drama for your momma" ... But as it turns out, I was not prepared to be the Momma the drama is saved for 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Lydia: "I'm just devastated! How will I ever be a professional bug catcher when I grow up if I can't even find one bug?!" (Fake)cried as she came through the door from using her new bug catcher in the back yard.

Me: ...do you want to be a professional bug catcher when you grow up?

Lydia: "No! Of course not! But what if I did?!" 

              - - - - - - - - - 1 hour later - - - - - - - - -

Lydia: "It's so romantic! It's so beautiful I could just cry! Isn't it wonderful?!"  She declared to absolutely no one (or rather, everyone) about the magnetic block tower she had built. 

           - - - - - - - - - 20 minutes later - - - - - - - - -

Me: Hey, can you put your trash in the trashcan instead of on the table?

Lydia: *loud sigh* "I don't think so. Can you help me?" *Increasingly sad sounding* "I'm just so helpless. It's all just so ..... hopeless!" *Begins fake sobbing*

                             😳😳😳😳😳

I cannot tell you how many times I have to look to see if she's *actually* falling apart about something (like when out of nowhere she broken beartedly sobbed because "My class never even got to go to the pumokin patch" - which was something I thought we had dealt with months ago ....💔) OR if she is pulling my leg (like when she called me into the room panic crying about a spider and then grinned and laughed when I came in frantically 😒) OR if she is overreacting to something small (like when the bug catcher "broke" insighting heart broken sobs only to end in "oh, nevermind, I got the lid on right now" before I could cross the living room🙄).

No lie: all six of those examples occured in the same afternoon  Ya'll, this child of mine is going places ... I'm just not always sure exactly where those places are going to be. 😅 

Apparently, 5 years old might be an age full of drama 'round here. She feels big, she lives loud, and she certainly keeps us on our toes. I'm just here for the ride, soaking up all the moments and trying to figure out how to get us all through these hot-mess drama driven instances in one piece😂.

I don't want to stifle or change any part of her ... But here's hoping we can tailor the drama bit at least a little. Lots of people have survived raising girls, so I'm pretty certain it can be done ... but I sure do find myself praying about it often 😉.

                                    video

Decision Makers

"When there is no clear right answer, everything you do is wrong." 

Those were the words of a local decision maker (whom I happen to think quite highly of) delivered with the slightest shrug of his shoulders yesterday as he matter of factly attempted to explain the strange situation he finds himself in these days.

It was a simple statement - even one I've heard before - but it struck deep yesterday and reminded me of something we so often "forget": All of our decision makers are only human, too. 

No govenor, no superintendent, no anyone attended a college class titled "What To Do When The Country Attempts To Shut Down Due To A Health Scare." No one offered or attended a training on "How to Educate Students During A National Quarantine". Everyone is just, simply, figuring all of this out as they go.

They are taking the data their shown, the common sense and smarts they have, their prior knowledge, their leadership know-how, and the pressure from a million directions, and making the best decision they can. THEN the information they were given changes and the reccomendation list is tweaked and half the people they are supposed to be leading ignore them and another third throws a fit, and so they rework and the rethink and they reattempt .....People, they are winging it. 

They are winging it to the absolute best of their 

abilities and with their absolute best intentions. They don't know what the beginning of next school year looks like any more than I do and yet while I get to stick my head in the sand and "wait to see" what comes, they are faced daily (or hourly) with plans that need made and decisions that won't wait. They aim to guide and please "the masses" because that is and defines a large part of their job. They (The ones I love) aim to protect our libertys while also trying to ensure our safety. They are taking the panic of many and balancing it with the common sense of few. They are trying so hard to do the right thing without knowing exactly what the right thing is.

And yet, because there is no clear right answer, everything they do is wrong. 

In "times like these" it's easy to become disgruntled and complain against our decision makers. And, while I think it's more than okay (responsible, even?) to question them and challenge them and point out other angles to them respectfully... Please remember to thank them, too. Thank them for doing their best and giving their all. Thank them for the time they are spending thinking things through from every angle. Thank them for the anxiety they are living with and the sleep they are giving up trying to find the right thing. Thank them for being willing to be the decision makers, because it's not a job all of us want.

While you're at it, pray for them. Pray for wisdom in making decisions, the strength to carry out those decisions, and the peace to live with the ones they make (while maybe even getting a little sleep at night).

Goodness knows, while there may be no right answer, I sure am thankful for a few right people who are working hard to help us all move forward towards where we want to be.

Teacher Appreciation

Teacher appreciation week is special because teachers are special. Thank you to the ones who taught and modled me, the ones who are impacting my girls lives, and the ones who work with me every day.

It's not always an easy gig, but it is always a worthwhile gig, and I love it even on the hard days. 

I sure am thankful for those teachers whose examples I've had (and still have!) to learn from -  the ones who show its possible to carry the world with grace and a smile that I can only hope to be half as good as. ♥️

             Teacher 

A thousand decisions to make

With only what you know

A million dreams at stake

Yet limited power you hold.

Countless knowledge to impart

To only few ears that hear

They often don't do as you say

And yet you hold every one dear.

Constant chaos thrown your way

Ofen without any thought

Your reactions keep guarded and tame

Though with exaution your wrought.

Worth every penny and effort

To see smiles you'll cherish for years

Showing that as they grow and change

Their triumphs you'll always cheer.

A noble profession your told

Though you rarely feel like royalty

You love through the highs and the lows,

And push all to their best inbetween.