The Life Of A God Man

It's not what he does, or what he has, that expresses the worth of a man, but what he is.

It's a special thing to look back on the life of a loved one ... And yet, so often, a hard thing to do. 

Uncle Jim - more often "just" Uncle - did a lot of things. But the things he did didn't define him. He was a farmer, a soldier, a teacher, a coach, an uncle. He didn't have a lot of things. But the things he had seemed worth more than most. He had a little house and a modest farm.  But what he was? Well that was the best thing of all.

What he was, for 100 years,  was a God man - and that influenced everything he did and had.

You see, Uncle Jim was a farmer who took pride in his animals and land. He cared for them diligently, and taught others to do the same. He trained horses with love and a steady hand, and taught his nieces and nephews how to ride. He did things his own way - for better or worse - and rigged up many a "Rinehart gate." 

He was a solider who served valiantly and had many a story to tell. Perhaps my favorite was of the time he was wounded and an also wounded fellow soldier helped him to the medical unit. "We leaned on each other." He'd say. 

He was a teacher and coach who encouraged many youths to try a little harder, run a little faster, and play the game with the right head on.

He was an Uncle who loved those who were both genetically his nieces and nephews, and answered to  "Uncle" from (and served as Uncle to) many others, too.

That little house he had? It was tiny, but it had treasures galore. A typewriter, the comfiest chair, and always cookies in the cookie jar. The farm, a child's wonderland he'd gladly show you around (and probably put you to work on). 

Oh, he wasn't perfect. He had a temper that could appear if you pushed enough - that Rooster that chased Heather and I every time we went for eggs only chased Uncle Jim once. And, I'm sure he made his fair sure of mistakes ... I just don't remember them because what imperfections he had were far outshined by the good that he was. 

He spoke with wisdom and a positive outlook. He could calm any horse, cow, or kid with his presence. He loved people - and family - fiercely. He worked harder than most and outworked most men well into his upper years. He was fiercely strong and hard headed and equally gentle and loving. 

His life was governed by the Bible and his faith ... And he fully expected that his families would be too. He didn't mind to tell you if you ought to be doing something differently - and then he'd help you get there if you'd let him. He didn't need much here, because he knew he'd have it all in Heaven. 

Ive never met another person quite like Uncle Jim, and I probably never will. Yet, his legacy lives on. See, the life of a God man can't help but impact and influence those around him. And thanks to this one God man, there are a whole lot of other men who are a little bit more like him. His neices and nephews, cousins, friends ... He rubbed off on them. He made them better, and they are going on and doing the same. 

Not by what he does, or by what he has, but by what he is - the worth of the God man is great - and his worth stays alive through all who were blessed to love him. 

What's On A Coffee Cup

This is my favorite coffee cup. 

Its functional, it holds just the right amount of coffee, and the saying is just perfect. It sums up a huge portion of my life in a matter of fact, slightly humorous way that is very much my style. 

"Momming" is, by far, one of my most favorite things I get to do. But, it isn't for the faint of heart, and it ain't easy, not one bit. Things don't have to be easy to be wonderful.

That's why I love this cup. Most days when I'm ready for coffee, "Mommin' ain't easy" is just the funny acknowledgement I need to make in order to chuckle and get on with my day.

But sometimes I switch cups. 

Sometimes the reminder on the second (slightly smaller but just as wonderful) cup is what I need more. Sometimes it's a more fitting thought for my day. 

Oh, I make the coffee the exact same way and the coffee taste the same no matter which cup I drink it from. And really, the cup *doesn't* matter.

Except, it sort of does. 

It's not about the cup so much ...  It's about the thoughts I surround myself with and what I focus my heart and mind on. 

On the fun, busy days, I enjoy thinking "Mommin' ain't easy". On the days I've settled 7 silly arguments and cleaned up 3 messes before I make it to my first cup of coffee, I enjoy thinking "Mommin' ain't easy" (maybe with an empathetic eye roll). 

But on the days Mommin' really ISN'T easy? On the days when I'm exhausted or when life feels overwhelming, or when the world threatens to close in ... On the days when I wonder if I'll outlast the strong wills of my girls ... I don't need to chuckle at how "Mommin' ain't easy". On those days, I need to remember what to DO about it. 

Those are the days I grab the second coffee cup. 

Those are the days I reach for whatever little bit of extra encouragement to go with my coffee. 

The thoughts we allow ourselves to focus on influence us more strongly than we sometimes realize. Sometimes we think we can see things - watch things - read things - and then go on being whatever we wanted to be that day. But whatever things are infront of us - whatever thoughts make it in our heads anald are allowed to travel to our hearts - those influence our attitudes. The impact our motivation. If we aren't careful (and usually even if we think we are being careful) our repeated thoughts, the things we allow into our minds over and over again, begin to change and define us. 

So today, be conscious about what thoughts you put into your head .... Even if it's just when you choose your coffee cup. 😉

A New Beginning

Teaching is a unique profession for several reasons .... But at the top of the list is that every August teachers get a completely fresh start. 

Sometimes it's new admin, a new teaching role, new coworkers ... But even if you've been in the same classroom your whole career like I have, it's a new (or updated) theme, a new group of kids, and a new chance to start at the beginning. 

How often do we think of ways we could have "done that better"? Well, professionally, each new school year I get a chance to put what I learned from the last go round to good use. 

I get to set up my classroom the way I want, put into practice the routines I'd like to have, and make first impressions with the kiddos I get to learn from for the year. 

What. A. Blessing. 

Oh, I'm always nervous.... There's things I somehow manage to forget every time. There's always kids I don't have figured out as fast as I'd like. There's always a learning curve. And the exhaustion of the first week .... It's real. 

But, more than the nerves, more than the tiredness, there is a certain magic in the Elementary building. There is an excitement, an anticipation, that comes around just once a year as we get started on the greatness the year will bring. 

So, this new beginning, I'm praying to enjoy the magic. To cherish each getting to know you activity that seems silly but builds the classroom family I want. To relish the chance to be a little stronger than I was the last time around, a little better at doing what I love. To build with each new kiddo a relationship that lasts beyond the year they share my classroom walls. 

Here's to beginnings ... May we love them more than we stress about them. 

What The Outliers Need

The longer I teach the more I am convinced we, and all of our students, are all "twice exceptional" in our own right. We each have areas of giftedness. We each have areas of deficit that we struggle in. We all love extra attention (my kids ALL vie equally for the attention of our awesome push in special education teacher) and we all both crave and deserve the opportunity to discover and grow our strengths through relevant, exciting, and just plain 'cool' learning activities. We also all crave and deserve help in our areas of weakness and scaffolding where we need it. 

But only some get Individualized Education Plans. 

The reality is, while every person has some area of weakness and struggle, there are some whose struggles are larger, or different. There are many students who will need my aid, as the regular classroom teacher. There are many who will need me to answer extra questions for them in some areas, give them extra time, prompt them and provide scaffolding for them. There are many I am fully equipped to do that for in the general education setting. However, there are some who need scaffolding larger than what I, as the general education teacher, can offer while still completing all other parts of my job. There are those who need more time, and more services than I can provide within the constraints of my general education classroom. And so, we have special education. Sometimes that teacher is able to push in, and when that works it is WONDERFUL. Sometimes pull out is required by nature of the need - think speech services, OT services, and testing situations for our regular push ins. Sometimes the needs are so great students thrive more in a self contained room. We meet the needs of those children. We don't stop meeting the needs of our other children who still have weakness and areas they need extra help in .... But we meet the needs of each differently.

The flip side of that is, every single student has a strength, a giftedness, if you will, that I need to nurture. But some students have more or a different type. There are many who need my nurturing as their classroom teacher. There are many who will need me to challenge them, to prompt them with questions, to provide extension activities for them. There are many I am fully equipped to do that for in the general education setting. However, there are some who need services bigger than what I, the general education teacher, can offer while still completing other parts of my job.

What we often forget about the truly gifted child is that the truly gifted child does not always present as academically, or socially, high achieving. 

And so, there are those who need help relating to peers. There are those who need stimulation on a topic that will engage their brain. There are many who struggle to match up their adult like thoughts with their age appropriate emotions. There are those who need encouragement and opportunity to develop skill sets that are simply missing for them. There are many who are truly twice exceptional and whose scores may place them solidly in the gifted range and solidly on something else, such as the autism spectrum. There are needs they have that I cannot me within the constraints of my regular education classroom.

A "treat each child as gifted" mindset MUST be had by every teacher in every general education classroom. Neat and cool learning experiences must be offered to every student. Worthwhile extension activities must be available to all. 

But a true gifted education curriculum is not merely neat and cool activities. A true gifted curriculum, written for the students who have been identified as needing such a thing, is tailored to their needs. What an IEP does for a child with a learning disability and a special education teacher does as an advocate, a Gifted Education curriculum should be doing for a student identified through the program, and the gifted teacher should do as an advocate. And just like many things serviced through an IEP, the needs are often best met through a pull out situation. 

If we fail to meet the needs of the students with learning disabilities, ADHD, autism, giftedness, or any other special consideration, we run the risk of increased learning gaps that could have been avoided, and of eventual elevated dropout rates. That doesn't mean we stop servicing the needs of every child. It doesn't mean we can forget about every single child's strengths and need for authentic learning. It simply means that some students need different, more extreme, services.

Schools don't always have the perfect gifted program - but we don't always service IEPs perfectly either. Sometimes the identification process may need tweaked, and that can be said of both sides. Sometimes kids who 'we thought were' ... aren't. And sometimes, sadly, we miss kids. But most schools are trying their hardest to provide what each child needs - and, all the special needs must be considered in that. 

I am certainly thankful to be in a district where every child is seen for their strengths and cheered on as they grow those strengths and close gaps with their weakness. Where every child is given everything the teachers have to give. Every child deserves the absolute best, most personalized education we can give them. "Every child" includes the outliers. 

A Kind Voice

One of the most patience trying ... I mean, interesting ... Things this summer has been watching my girls begin figure out how to negotiate their own disagreements with each other. They are at different stages in how they play and don't always see eye to eye on how things should go when they play together. When they were younger it was necessary for me to jump in quickly any time there was a disagreement ... But as they are growing and have more words and coping strategies, I am attempting to back off a bit and let them work through some things.

Since I'm never far away, I find myself "coaching" them through these moments form the sidelines and the phrase I repeat the most often seems to be "Remember, she can hear your kind words better!"

See, my 3 year old often wants to play with her big sister ... But often does things, well, a 3 year old way ... Which can be very frustrating for her 6 year old sister. When Lydia tries to direct the play and teach Raina how to do whatever it is the are doing, her voice raises quickly out of frustration. AND when Raina had her own ideas to contribute to the play and feels like Lydia isn't listening to them, her voice raises quickly as well. 

Once the raised voices and frustrated yelling begin, no more playing gets done. Neither girl likes to feel like her sister is yelling at her, and neither girl can listen to the frustrated tone of her playmate. Let's be honest, no one wants to listen to the high pitched wails, so if we reach the point of shouting, it quickly becomes a disaster. 

However, if Lydia can remember to talk calmy to Raina and use her normal voice "Raina let's do it this way instead" and if Raina can remember to talk calmy and use her big kid voice "Lydia, I want to ____" then they are able to attend actually hear and listen to what the other is saying and the play is able to continue mostly uninterrupted. 

I know it's harder with the current age and stage gap and by default of navigating the sisterly relationship .... But really, don't we all struggle with the same thing? 

When we disagree with someone or don't like the way they're doing something, We get flustered and frustrated and can quickly begin to raise our voices. Then, when we feel like they're not listening to us, we get even more frustrated and the spiral of emotions affects our voices and our faces too. And then? Then whoever we are talking to can't even hear our words - no matter how good our argument is  - because they are too busy reacting to our tone and our frustration. The spiral takes is quickly down into a conversation disaster. 

But, what if we remember "They can hear your kind words better".

Oh, I might still have to disagree. I might even have to tell someone I don't like what they did or what they said ... But if I can keep my calm, if I can remain kind - loving even - then maybe the conversation won't turn to disaster. 

Maybe instead of yelling back at me, they will also remain calm and kind. Maybe they'll be able to hear what I'm saying and consider my words. Maybe our conversation - and our relationship - can continue on mostly uninterrupted. 

It doesn't mean I don't stand up for myself, or say what I know needs to be said ... It's all about the delivery. 

I want my words heard ... And I'm learning most people can hear my kind voice whisper way easier than they can hear my grumpy voice yell.

Transformation

This week is the week before back to school teacher meetings begin, so I've spent a fair amount of time working in my classroom. 

The goal is always prep the room for the beginning of a new year. Make it look fresh and inviting for an awesome group of students .... Make it be organized and functional for all.

This year I went a little further because I wanted to change things up. I (with some awesome help) painted the shelves, rearranged the tables, and streamlined the clutter. I even got a new rug!

My room has been truly transformed .... In a matter of 2 partial days. Which got me thinking ... Why can't all transformations be that easy? 

When I set out to tansform myself ... Why is it so much harder than redoing a classroom? Why is kicking a bad habit (ahem ... Nail biting) which I've been trying to do ALL summer so much harder than painting shelves? Why is changing and controlling my thoughts and reactions so much more difficult than rearranging tables and putting up new bulletin boards?

And then it hit me. I transformed my classroom easily this year because I didn't clean the closet. In fact, I have yet to open the closet door. 

People, I have lived in this classroom for 10 years (whoa!). The first several years I organized my closet each August. I made sure all the construction paper was sorted by color and neatly stacked. The theme boxes were easy to pull out, everything had a place. 

Now?

Now I haven't organized the closet in at least 4 years.

Why not? .... Because I don't want to. 

Oh, I could give you lots of reasons (ahem, excuses...).

...... I have kids now. 2 of them. They deserve my time and I don't want to leave them more than necessary at the beginning of the year. 

....We got into our classrooms a little later this time around so I didn't have that much time. 

....I can still *see* all the colors of construction paper.

....The door still closes. 

....Usually nothing falls out when I open the door.

.... It's more important to focus on the parts people see.

.... It's a really time consuming process and messes up the rest of my room. 

Those last 4 .... They are hitting close to the real thing. 

Closet clean outs are messy. You have to make a bigger mess to clean the mess .... Everything must be pulled out (which clutters all the other spaces), things have to be sorted through, decisions must be made about what to keep and what to get rid of, things have to be wiped down and cleaned off, and THEN what's being kept has to be put back and what's being thrown out has to be carried off .... 

It's exhausting. And messy. And sometimes embarrassing for someone to walk in and see.

And maybe *that's* what a real transformation is. 

Maybe a real, lasting, transformation of our hearts and minds and habits is way more like cleaning a closet than it is like decorating a classroom. 

In Romans 12:2 when it says "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.", we aren't talking about a room facelift. We can't cut our hair, buy a new wardrobe, and call it good like I did when I painted my shelves and rearranged things in my room. This transformation? It's a closet clean out. 

In order to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind" we have to give our minds space to be renewed. That means we have to pull everything out and sort it. We have to decide what thoughts, what habits, what loves, get to stay .... And which ones have to go. It's going to be time consuming. It's liable to be quite messy .... And parts of it may even embarrass us. But when we're done? 

Oh, when we're done we'll realize it was much more important - and worth the effort - than any mere facelift could be. 

My shelves won't stay flawless for long. The first day my 4th graders stack their chairs ... There goes that. The bulletin boards will stay neat for a while - but they will fade with time and the picking fingers of kids passing by. If my closet was clean however, I'd be more able to maintain the organizational structure of my classroom and I'd be less likely to clutter it back up. 

The problem is, closets aren't the only thing we think "no one can see it with the door closed" about. And when we allow ourselves to think that way about our hearts? Watch. Out. 

First of all ... It's not secret. 

1 Samuel 16:7 (and numerous other verses) let us know that God sees our hearts: "For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."

And secondly, we won't be able to keep it secret anyway. 

Matt. 12:34 reminds us that our words and actions come from the heart "You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." 

Furthermore, it is harming us: 

Matthew 15:17 reads "Do you not yet understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man."

The bottom line is, if we don't transform our hearts - no outward appearance of a transformation will save us. 

So, soon, I will dig in and clean out my classroom closet before I run a further risk of it spilling out and messing up my room makeover. 

And immediately, I'll dig back in to my own much more personal transformation .... Because when it comes to matters of the heart and mind, there is always more work to be done and growth to be had.

Balance

After a wonderful summer with a little extra time and a few less obligations, the school year is calling me back to the real world ... Which means it's time for this yearly reminder to myself: 

"Prioritize your priorities and let what needs to go, because balance is not something you find, it's something you create."

Let's face it, none of us go around doing a whole lot of things we seem totally unimportant. We (largely) spend our time doing things we like, things we enjoy, or things we decide need done. Which means it's often hard for us to "cut" things from our plates and to-do lists. If it's all important, what goes? 

So here's what I'm hoping will allow me to keep taking deep breaths this August .... balance.

If you pictured this:

don't. Instead, picture this:

If you Google "balance" the number 1 definition that pops up is "keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall." 

When you build a block tower, even the toddler builder fairly quickly figures out that the tower needs a steady base to allow the tower to stand. If you rush building and bump the tower or get things off center, the whole tower is likely to topple prematurely. Instead, the block tower builder needs to carefully put each block on steadily, in a solid, maintainable position.

We have so many "blocks" in our worlds. Church, Bible study, marriage, children, extended family relationships, friends, careers, hobbies, pets ... the list could go on and on. Our responsibilities and our chosen past times fill our hands - which is GREAT - as long as we keep them balanced.

You may occasionally hear me say I'm "juggling" it ... but I'm trying to strike that phase from my vocabulary. Here's why:

If you Google "juggling" the top definition is "continuously tossing into the air and catching (a number of objects) so as to keep at least one in the air while handling the others, typically for the entertainment of others" and the second is "cope with by adroitly balancing".

Okay - I love you all - but I don't have the mind space to do much "for the entertainment of others" (ha) and continuously tossing things into the air just sounds exhausting. AND do you know what "adroitly" means? It means "in a clever or skillful way". I can *guarantee* you that at the end of every day the first month of school I will be much too tired to be clever and skillfully tossing things into the air and catching them. 

.... ain't nobody got time for that.

So, instead, I will balance - with careful thought - as much as I can. When you build a really tall tower, the base has to be the biggest - the most solid. Then, the levels may get skinnier, and even a little wobbly, the higher up you go.  

For me, this means, my "big" things - my highest prioritized priorities - are my base. My Bible study, my relationship with God, my worship are the base I *must* maintain. The things that are tied directly to that are my next, almost as large, level: my marriage,  my daughters, my family, the relationships that keep me going strong and that are important for me to keep up.

Some levels have variances and choices that must be made - as a teacher, my career is important, but can also be consuming. I LOVE my job and always want to give it my all ... but choices have to be made. How many extra clubs will I sponsor? How many extra duties do I sign up for? How much extra time do I put in? 

And some levels may have "time variances" .... sometimes my friends need me to get together with them, to reach out, to engage frequently. Sometimes my friends (because they are awesome) understand that my social life needs to take a back seat for a time. Things ebb and flow - and that is okay, too.

Some levels are fun, and may be temporary. They balance on the top for a time, and then can be removed. Lydia played spring soccer and loved it! It was worth the time commitment for her, and we'll probably balance it again this spring. She isn't playing fall soccer because I don't see a way to balance that. And, that's okay too! Remember this post? It's the only juggling analogy I love ... sometimes the plastic balls have to be allowed to drop so the glass ones can stay in the air. Will she be slightly disappointed when she doesn't get to play fall soccer? Yes. Will she live and move on incredibly quickly without any life-long damage and baggage? Also yes (phew). 

And, here is the *best* thing about balancing when you're building a block tower .... you can stop and readjust along the way. A new block needs put in? Figure out where it fits *without* knocking over the whole thing. Does it strengthen the base? Does it fit well with a different level? Does it teeter on the top and bring enough positives to be worth the extra height?  All good. But if it overwhelms the base and threatens to make your balanced tower topple ..... reconsider, and maintain the balance.