Mind Training

I started back to work today after 2 glorious weeks with my sweet girl at home.

I started back to work today with meetings and came home exhausted, still needing to plan for the following first day back with kids.

I started back to work today and came home with work to do and a husband who is sick and crashed on the couch.

I started back to work today, and tomorrow I take my sweet girl to her first day of daycare (we have been so blessed to have my mom keep her all this time -- but now Monday's will be Nana days, and every other day will be a Mrs. Loretta day).

I started back to work today and I'm tired and a little whiny.

Then I was scrolling Facebook and came across this posted on a friends wall:

**Loading .... Attitude Adjustment**

I started back to a job I absolutely love today after getting to spend 2 glorious weeks with my sweet girl at home.

I started back to a job I absolutely love today and got to spend much of the day collaborating with other educators who I admire, am inspired by, and enjoy the company of --- and we learned and discussed things that will make me better for my kids.

I started back to a job I absolutely love today and then returned to the comfort of my home and got to relax and watch TV with my hubby while playing with my daughter. And then worked after Lydia was snoozing.

I started back to a job I absolutely love today, and I have a loving, safe, wonderful place for Lydia to spend time every day when I can't be the one with her.

I started back to a job I absolutely love today, and Im tired. But its the good - I have so many wonderful blessings to enjoy - kind of tired. So its all good.

Sometimes you have to train your mind.

New Years

I'd love to tell you my New Year's resolution is to blog more. 

In fact, I was going to blog about that resolution a couple of days ago.

Then I remembered that I have to go back to school on Monday.

And while I was remembering that I have to go back to school on Monday, Lydia picked up the dogs food and water bowl and dumped it all over the floor. 

And while I was cleaning up the dog food and water, all 4 of my dining room chairs were pushed into the kitchen and the dogs ball was rolled under the baby gate and down the stairs, and he stood crying for it ... so of course we had to open the gate and play a few rounds of fetch. 

Which led to playing in the basement for a while, until we finally returned upstairs for snack.

And while I was grabbing the Puffs from the cabinet, I noticed my Mac sitting open on the counter with the words "I will blog more" in the first line ... 

and I decided I'd be better off deleting that (and possibly writing my own version of "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie"). 

So here we are.

I won't tell you I'm going to blog more. Because I can't promise that. Nope.

But I will tell you this.

Being a momma is awesome. It is cuddles and hugs and playing toys and singing silly songs and peek-a-boo and climbing up and down stairs just for the fun of it and baby chasing and blowing kisses, and wonderful.

And its made me better. Better at time managing (because I used to think I was busy -- but now I have no idea what I did before Lydia - except for sleeping more). It's made me better at flexibility. Its made me a better house keeper (because when your kid puts everything in their mouth, it become more important to have a clean floor). It's made me play and have fun more. Its made me enjoy little moments more. It makes me a better version of myself in almost every way.

But there are things it doesn't make me better at.

It doesn't make me better at focusing in Church (keeping an active and vocal 10 month old busy, still, and quiet = momma doesn't listen to much of the sermon sometimes). It doesn't make me better at personal Bible study. It doesn't make me better at self reflection. 

It's easy to get distracted - there are alway 5 billion things going on in our little world. And when L is content ... I throw a load of laundry in, pick up 70 toys, do the dishes that are in the sink, make the bed, dust something, clean a bathroom, put the books back on the bookshelf, something. And when L goes to bed, there are e-mails to respond to, and papers that need graded, time to spend with my husband, and then I crash into bed because lets face it 5:00 is seriously way to early to be getting out of bed. Especially when L is bound to wake up at least once (and probably twice) before 5.

Notice whats missing? Prayer. Bible study. Reflection. Writing.

And I miss it. I need that time. I need that focus.

So, I won't tell you I'm going to blog more. But I will tell you I am going to pray more. And read my Bible more. And dwell on Godly things more. 

And while often that will mean using my newfound mom ability to multi-task to consciously count blessings and pray while I'm throwing in that load of laundry, or sining a song of praise and actually thinking about the words while I'm wiping down the bathroom or doing dishes .... my favorite way to dwell on God's word and reflect on my own life and blessings will always be to write --- so maybe this blog will be visited a bit more often.