Beginning of Year Craziness

        Today was an absolutely beautiful day. It was a chilly fall day ... 60 degree weather, foggy, cool and damp ... beautiful. I came home from work, my hubby was just starting laundry (amazing all on it's own!), we took the dog for a walk, and then came home and had waffles and eggs for dinner.

        And I think I felt like a regular person for the first time in WEEKS. Like since school started. Don't get me wrong, after dinner I still graded a stack of papers and spent an hour working on my Grad class homework ... BUT, for that brief moment (and this one!) I got to remember what it is like to have a life outside of school. And it was marvelous! ha!

        Don't get me wrong, I am LOVING every minute of school ... well, okay, almost every minute. There have been a couple moments I could have done without, but that is to be expected when you hang out with 9 year olds all day! :). Seriously, over all this year is great. My homeroom is fantastic, each of my classes is an adventure all it's own, my kids are great, my colleagues are wonderful, and I get to wake up and go do what I love every day.

        There have been a ... few ... moments our room has been full of craziness, a couple of times my co-teacher and I have had to just look at each other and laugh, one lesson I stopped completely - reworked - and tried again the next day, and a time or two I was pretty sure we weren't getting anywhere ... but guess what, we WERE getting somewhere.

         And there are moments that prove it ... like today we started guided reading and the kids were marvelous. And when the kids got excited at the news that all their prewriting strategies have payed off and then get to start actually drafting tomorrow. AND today we got to bring out "Skelly" the skeleton! I brought him out for my two ELA classes, but my homeroom was so excited we decided to study him as well! So, we decided to do some research on skeletons and the human body ourselves :).

This is my homeroom filling out KWL charts about Skelly the skeleton -- they are excited to learn more about him!

        But, no matter how much I love my job, 4 weeks of 10 hour days (7-5) + 2 or 3 hours in at school each weekend was = one stressed out me ... which isn't fun for anyone involved (including my students! and my poor husband!). So, today it was nice to "get away" for a bit, take a deep breath, and remember that this "beginning of the year craziness" really doesn't last forever =).

I should...

I should be working on school stuff. Studying and processing our new writing curriculum. Prepping to give a writing assessment tomorrow. Reviewing the reading lessons I will start teaching. Tweaking my seating arrangement (there are a few cases where that is a definite necessity). Lesson planning (you know, past tomorrow).

I should be cleaning my house. Doing dishes. And laundry. And someone (anyone!) is seriously going to have to sweep the floor.

I should be writing a better, deeper blog-post than this one :s.

I should be doing a lot of things. But instead I'm laying on the couch. Because I'm exhausted. But it's the same kind of exhausted I am after a trip to 6 flags or the river for the day. Or the way you feel when you get back form a great vacation. It's a fulfilled kind of exhausted. A 'too much fun' kind of exhausted. It's a 'my class was awesome today and we had a blast and I really do work at a great school' kind of exhausted. And also a 'my other two classes are going to keep me busy busy busy and I am 50% terrified and 90% excited and 100% determined we will make progress quickly' kind of exhausted. And an 'I didn't sleep last night because I was to filled with anticipation' kind of exhausted.

I should be thankful. Thankful that I am only exhausted because I got to spend the day doing what I love. Thankful that I have  job, period. Thankful that my kiddos are sweet and fun and ready to learn. Thankful that I have great coworkers. Thankful for another day full of opportunities.

I should do a lot of things -- not the leas of which is say a prayer and go to bed. And so that, my friends, is exactly what I'm going to do.

Pray Out Loud

http://www.ksdk.com/news/article/391819/3/Priest-comes-out-of-nowhere-to-aid-accident-victim

Read this story. And let it move you to think deeply.

I don't want to discuss angles with you, or even miracles, or "stranger priests", or coincidences, or luck ... at least I don't want to discuss those things right now. 

Here is what I want to tell you:

This story brought tears to my eyes and a prayer of thanks to my lips. Because it reminded me that God works - in our lives - on a daily basis. Because it reminded me to be thankful for each safe trip to and from Jefferson City (and all my safe trips to and from anywhere for that matter). Because it made me thrilled for parents who weren't separated for their too young daughter. Because it made me think of God. And made me (and probably more people) thank God. Because it made me examine my faith.

Because it made me wonder: would I be saying "Pray with me and pray out loud" ... or would I be crying, or screaming? 

You can never know how you will actually respond to a situation until you are IN that situation. And sometimes even then I am not sure you realize how you are reacting until after the fact. 

I'd say this young lady reacted well. I'm sure she touched many peoples hearts with her simple, yet strength filled words. Could I say them in a moment like that? Is my faith that strong, my whole mind that reliant on God? Is yours?

Recharge

There is a reason my classroom had to come together so quickly (granted it is STILL coming together...): I have other things to do!

Because even though school is consuming, I don't want it to completely consume me. And even though teaching is my passion, it isn't my only one.

Because I still need to time to play.

I mean, seriously, is this pure joy or what?!

LOVE these girls (and how much they love to read!)

And celebrate.

This is my sweet cousin's fiance, Emily ... can't wait to celebrate their wedding next weekend!

And relax.

After all, teaching is consuming. And being passionate is tiring. So it was great to recharge this weekend! ...now, back to SCHOOL! And figuring out what I'm going to teach these precious kiddos! =)

Ready, Set, Go!

If "procrastinator" has an opposite ... I'm that. At least on the things I enjoy. And turns out I enjoy "playing" in my classroom!

I realized quickly last year some things I could have done to have the room set up "better", "more functional", etc. So, this years goal is to be more functional, more organized, and more efficient -- but still tons of fun! ;)

Soooo, since our building opened on Tuesday, it has been a productive couple days as far as classroom setting up goes!

With doing the inclusion room we found out last year that it would have been SUPER nice to have two "pull tables". This will be my table - it's right next to my desk. *hopefully* It will eventually have exercise balls sitting around it to experiment with!

This is the filing system (found on pinterest) I'm trying ... folders for each thing: "to copy", "take home", "grade", etc. HOPEFULLY this will keep the countless papers from each day organized instead of in a giant pile on my desk! We'll see....

Here is my whole desk :) hopefully it will stay this clear....

On top is our team tubs the kiddos will pick up each morning with supplies for the day (sitting in them now are white boards I made by cutting apart the cheap cardboard folders from wal-mart and laminating them!) AND one of our new adventures this year, the student data binders, will sit on the shelves below! Right now they are in pieces - binders on the left, inserts on the right ... hole punching, here I come!

I loved the Kagan workshop I was able to attend right after school got out in May ... but I definitely need to review Kagan before school starts! To help me out, I put up cheat sheets of some of my favorite structures.

We always have kids absent and in and out of the room. Here is our new "While You Were Out" board - we'll put the papers we do that day in that days folder so kids will always know where to find them. And that's the second pull table - Angie's table! =)

Reading corner =)

Writing Center

This is the AR wall - kids will move their little surfer dude along the wave and to the beach as they work towards their goal.

Surfers for the AR wall - we'll put pictures of the kids faces so they won't be headless surfers ... and the kids can decorate!

I think we are off to a good start ... except I have nothing ready to actually teach! So, here's to getting familiar with our new writing program, reviewing our reading units, and getting my grading system up and going! =) Happy end of summer!

Reaching Out

"I would gladly do whatever is needed if only I knew what I needed to do!"

That's what I just said to my mom in the phone. And that's not the first time we've had a similar conversation. And it probably won't be the last. Because sometimes knowing what to do is really hard for me.

Sometimes I get so frustrated because I see a situation, I see someone struggling, I feel someone pulling back or pushing away, I see someone I want to reach out to ... But I don't know how.

Sometimes I want to help, to FIX, so badly, but I don't know what to do.

For someone who really likes to talk, it is amazing how often I am at a loss for what to say. ;)

Sometimes I don't know if it would be most helpful for me to jump in to a situation or stay out of it. Sometimes I don't know f I should say anything, let alone what.

Sometimes I don't know whether to keep quiet and risk losing an opportunity, or speak up and risk offending.

And then I remember verses like 1 Corinthians 3:6 that says "I planted, Apollos watered, and God gave the increase" and I remember that I'm not in this alone. And then I remember how much bigger God is than me. And I remember all that's required is I do my best for Him.

And then I say a prayer for wisdom and confidence.

And then I make a decision.

And then I pray, hopeful that I did the right thing. Hopeful that I planted the smallest seed or offered a trickle of water. Hopeful I did my part to make things better, to help, to encourage, to reach out.

And then, with a whole lot of help from God, and a promise from my Momma to tell me what to do as soon as she finds the magic solution, I wait for the next opportunity to reach out again.

Flying By

Summer is wonderful ... and unfortunately much to close to being over! And I haven't even blogged about much of it! eek!

Seriously, it never ceases to amaze me how time flies by. And while I absolutely LOVE to blog and reflect on things -- lately it seems we have just been hurrying on to the next thing and the next!

Mom and dad hosted a wedding for a sweet couple at church, which meant LOTS of yard and housework -- so I've spent a lot of time out there helping. And it turned out BEAUTIFUL.

What a beautiful day! and Yard! ;) And people! 

I may have mentioned this before, but I am pretty in awe of my parents! :)

We've also been plugging away in our own yard - the people that built the house had done a ton of beautiful landscaping, but after living through several years of renters, there is lots of "reclaiming" to do! I had big plans to get it all accomplished this summer, but quickly realized the yard will be an ongoing project. Which is totally fine as long as we keep going! :). This is one of my favorite things we've done (just finished thanks to my wonderful hubby last night)! We can't wait to have people over to enjoy it with us! :)

I think I am so excited about this because I have soo many memories of gathering around the campfire at my parents house! 

I've also been a little busy spoiling one sweet little puppy! I sure was amazed when I took her to get groomed and then picked her up looking totally different....

But she is still the most adorable thing ever! =)

ANNNDD yesterday was also our two year anniversary! Can you believe THAT? 2 years and a house together later, we sure are learning a lot about one another! He's watched me through student teaching, my first year teaching, buying a house, moving, and lots of yard projects ... and he hasn't given up on my yet! So we must be doing okay ;). 

Vacation! =)

THIS was our trip laid out on a map.

The map shows you the cities we stopped in, the roads we drove on, the 3,000 + miles we traveled. It may even help you imagine the things we drove by. But it cant quite show you the beautiful scenery we saw:

Or the animals we got to see (which, okay, my phone camera can't really show you either - but I promise you we got some great pictures with "real" cameras!)

OR the awesome Veteran's Museum, Mountain Towns, Gold Mine, and Prairie Museum we stopped at.

It isn't capable of showing you the wonders of Chimney rock, Mount Rushmore, or the other amazing wonders and views we witnessed

It can't show you the heights we climbed to and from (and this wasn't the only - or highest - time!)

Most importantly it can't show you the outstanding people we met, the churches we visited with, and the outstanding company we kept:

It can't show you the memories made, the beauties seen, the love shared, the jokes, the laughter, the slap-happy-we'vebeeninthecartoooolong-moments, the things learned, the thankfulness we feel, the joy ... the map can show you the path we traveled, but it can't really show you the trip we took!

Just Enough Religion

In class Wednesday night, someone made the comment that "some people have just enough religion to make them miserable when they decide to play in darkness". That got me thinking ... and thinking often gets me writing ... so here is what I wrote last night =)

             Just EnoughReligion 

I had just enough religion not to mind

Sitting through church each Sunday morn and eve

Through the innocence of a child's eyes

Knowing God was effortless for me.

I had just enough religion that I knew

The things my friends did were not always right

Amidst the conflict of a young teens trying heart

Praying of then helped me get through the night.

I had just enough religion to feel bad

When I got sidetracked and caught up in the world

And as time and trials wore against my soul

More wickedness Satan at me hurled.

I had just enough religion to recall

That through His son God had laid out a plan

So that people such as I could find a way

This world and it's temptations to withstand.

I'll have more than enough religion to help keep

Heaven as the focus of my heart

Enough love for God to keep me serving Him

Til' time ends and we're never more apart.

...do you have only enough religion to make you miserable when you chose to do things you know you shouldn't? Or do you have enough religion to keep you focused? Enough dedication to keep your life centered on God? All things are a choice. Our choice. My choice. your choice. Make the right one.

Warrior Wives

This is a blog I recently started following - and I am soon enjoying reading her thoughts! I thought this was a great post. I think that in most aspects of bout lives, neglect is the most dangerous thing. Generally speaking we don't actively try to sabotage ourselves ... But often we set ourselves up for failure by neglecting the things that are most important.

Read it. Think about it. :)

http://www.thewarriorwives.com/2013/06/creeping-separateness-in-marriage.html?m=1

Not a popular blog post...

***Please remember, all of the thoughts expressed come from my personal study of the Bible. If you have questions, concerns, or disagreements, please feel free to contact me! =)

Somewhere during the middle of the end of school craziness I overheard a few discussing some various, um, "extra curricular activities". During the point of the conversation, one person said something along the lines of "I mean, this is 2013! Who even cares, anyway?!!"

*Insert sad, shocked face here*

Who cares? Because its the year 2013? Oh, just someone kind of major ... You know, like GOD.

GOD CARES.

I think sometimes we LOVE the fact that God cares when we are sad, upset, alone (you know, 1Peter 5:7 - "Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you") ... And we forget that God cares about other things, too ... Like when we sin. 

Like it or not there are things (things that are very prevalent in our world) that are sin. Big, ugly, unflattering sin. And God cares when we sin. In fact, He cares a whole lot! 

God cares when fornication is committed - 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committees fornicaton sinners against his own body" (also look at 1Corinthians 7:2, Hebrews 13:4, Galations 5:19-21). Do you realize what fornication is? It is "voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarrried persons". Do you know how prevalent that is in our world? Do you realize how accepted and even EXPECTED it is? Do you realize how SINFUL it is?! Do you realize it could be the difference between heaven and hell for many, many people?! 

God. Cares.

God cares when drunkedness occurs - Ephesians 5:18  very clearly says "do not be drunk with wine..." (also look at Galations 5:21, 1Peter 5:8, Titus 2:3, 1Corinthians 6:10). Do you know how prevalent drunkedness is In our culture - and I don't think this is referring solely to alcoholism, but rather to getting drunk in general. Do you realize how accepted and even expected drinking is In our couture? Do you realize how SINFUL it is? Do you realize it could be the difference between heaven and hell for many, many people?

God. Cares.

And of course, there are things like lying (Colossions 3:9), stealing (Ephesians 4:28), and hating (1John 2:9). A lot of these things we consider "little" ... You know, a little white lie? A person that hates you right back? But the Bible teaches us that there are no "degrees" of sin - each sin could cost us the same thing: Heaven. 

If there is sin in our lives, it is actively keeping us out of Heaven. THAT'S how much a God cares. Galations 5:19 reads "Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, unclean ness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in times past, that those who practice such things will NOT inherit the kingdom of God."

So tell me, is that drink worth not going to Heaven? Is sexual immorality worth an eternity in Hell? Is lying worth trading your soul for? Because God cares ... And that isn't changing just because the year is 2013. 

The spectacular news is God cares when we sin because He cares about our souls. And because He cares about our souls, He made a plan to help us out - He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins (John 3:16). For me. For you. So,that when we realize we are in sin we can come back to Him ... we just need to 1) hear God's word - Romans 10:17, 2) believe - Mark 16:16, 3) repent - Acts 2:38, 4) confess - Romans 10:9-10, and then 5) be baptized - Acts 22:16. 

God wants us all to make it to heaven. God cares. And because God cares, I care ... And hopefully you do, too.

Sometimes

Sometimes I am a hard worker ... Like last week when I spent every day shoveling truckloads of gravel into my flower beds to get the landscaping around our house looking beautiful. Sometimes I am lazy ... Like today, when a trip to Wal*Mart felt like a really super accomplishment ... And was the only accomplishment of the day!

Sometimes I am silly - like the other when I laughed (at myself) til I was crying. Sometimes I am too serious - take myself to seriously - and get offended or upset at little, silly things.

Sometimes I am tidy and keep my car neat and the bed made and the dishes done. Sometimes I am scattered and messy ... Like, well, don't look at my kitchen right this second. 

Sometimes I am so enthusiastic and on fire for God ... And other times the world threatens to close in and has to be fought off.

Sometimes I am consistent with this blog. Sometimes I am ... Not. Apparently. Whoops! So, here is to a summer of being consistent ... Starting ... Now! =)

Wowsers

...its been a while since my last post! But I have good reasons! Mainly ... Overwork and under-sleep.

BUT its totally okay, because my school kiddos are well worth the overwork (and we only have 1.5 days left ... Eek!). And as for "under-sleep", well, her name is Sophie, and I am soooo in love. Even when she wakes me up in the middle of the night. Seriously, how could you not love with such a sweet puppy face?

Saturday I went to a cardinals game with my favorite ladies and when we got home my sweet hubby surprised me with Sophie. Now, that's a good day!

So, the last several days have consisted of squeezing in every ounce of fun possible with my school kiddos, and then hurrying home to my new baby. :)

I can't believe how fast my first year teaching has gone ... I sure need to do a recap post! AND I'm excited to meet my next years class tomorrow. :)

BASICALLY, I owe you a great post ... Soonly. But tonight, enjoy these sweet pictures instead:

Birthday Blessings

I generally feel pretty special all the time - and I mean that in a totally not conceited way ... ha! - but seriously, there is something about birthdays that makes you feel extra, extra special. It's a good thing mine only comes around once a year, or my head might start gaining sizes fairly quickly ... ;)

But seriously, while I am blessed beyond measure every single day, on days like to today I am reminded just how especially lucky I am!

*I spent my day at my job that I honestly love, love, love. My morning started with one of my sweet kiddos bringing me some Dr. Pepper bottles and chocolate (because he, and his momma, know me so well!) seriously -- best teacher gift yet! Sooo, I opened a Dr. Pepper and it promptly spewed all over my desk, floor, and self ... which my kids got a great laugh out of. And they do have wonderful laughs.

*After finishing our testing, we walked to the park to celebrate and got to enjoy the beautiful weather ... before it turned rainy!

*My sweet kiddos serenaded me, spontaneously, at lunch with the best sounding Happy Birthday song I've heard yet ... 'cause they are awesome.

*My wonderful coworkers, and more importantly my dear friends, provided cheesecake (yum!), a gorgeous flower arrangement, good company, and even a "congrats on finishing MAP testing! gift". They are beyond fantastic.

*My hubby spoiled me with a new phone ... that I am in love with.

*I fielded like 5 billion happy birthday phone calls, texts, and facebook messages ... very humbling to see how many people thought of me for a moment!

*AND was bombarded with hugs at church - where I also got to hear a wonderful sermon and participate in some uplifting singing!

My day was awesome. I can not express how thankful and blessed I am to have such wonderful friends and family that surround me with love and encouragement each and every day, not just on my b-day. :)

One dear friend wished me (via facebook) "so many blessings you can't keep track" ... and I sure got them =)

Battling

This week there is a gospel meeting going on at the St. James Church of Christ ... and I haven't made it to a night of it. Booooooo. Thanks to the sinus? allergies? crud? that I have, I have spent my days blowing my nose and coughing up my lungs (seriously, I think I deserve some serious ab muscles with all the coughing I've been doing!). And, with the fact that we are giving the MAP test week, missing school definitely has NOT been an option. So, with lots of help from cold/sinus medicine I have pushed through the school days (and tried not to cough all over my kiddos who are working so hard on their tests! bless their hearts!) ... and then I've been rushing home and falling onto my couch and not moving. Seriously. 2 nights in a row. I slept and laid on the couch til it was time to get up and go to bed.

Pathetic. Booo.

But, what do ya do. Sometimes you have to give in to be able to keep going I guess.

BUT, feeling awful + stress at school this time of year + missing some of the gospel meeting (which I am excited to go to tonight by the way!) + the sermon Sunday morning got me thinking about this:

This is one of Satan's test. This week, when I am tired, exhausted, crabby, stressed  ....  this is a battle I have to fight with Satan. Not that it is bad for me to be sick (well, I mean, it is bad, but it isn't giving in to Satan bad...), but that when I feel this tired, exhausted, and crabby, the door is wide open for Satan to walk in. It'd be oh so easy to snap at my husband, to be grumpy with my kids, to not be a good example to those I meet each day, to justify not going to church tonight either, to, well, let Satan win. 'Cause I don't feel great.

This is a battle - part of my personal war - with Satan. And I have to come ready to fight.

An army who doesn't train for war, but just jumps into battle hoping to figure it out is doomed to lose. Common sense, right? Somehow, not as common as it should be.

If an army didn't train, but instead decided they would figure things out as they went in battle and "learn as they went", they would not stand a chance. We can all see that - that's why our army has boot camp and training and makes sure our troops are very prepared before they ever think about sending them to battle. If we can see that ... why can't we see that we need to be prepared BEFORE we go into battle with Satan?

The down times, the good times, the peaceful times -- that's when a good army is made. That's when a good army is training, learning, practicing, making sure they are ready when the next battle comes. The down times, the good times, the peaceful times -- that's when a good Christian is made. That's when a good Christian is training, learning, practicing, praying, making sure they are ready when the next battle comes.

Satan has been around a long time. A lot longer than I have. So, it's pretty safe to figure he knows some good tricks. He has been practicing a long time. And each time I defeat him, he goes back to the drawing board and picks out a new trick - one designed to stump me, personally. His efforts go stronger. And, so, the only way for me to continue defeating him is for me to keep growing stronger. Why do you think our army has to keep getting new armor? new weapons? new machinery? Because as we learn, so do our enemies. And to keep defeating our enemies, we have to keep growing stronger as they do. It's the same with Christian's and Satan. If we consider the "peaceful time" our down time and do nothing to grow stronger ... if we decide to wait to train til we are already in battle ... we are doomed. We have a powerful foe. When he shows up to battle, it is to late for us to start training. We need to already be in good shape at that point.

We DO learn from each battle with Satan. And then, we need to take what we learned and start applying it - practicing it - praying about it - so we can be even more ready for our next battle. If we wait to start drawing close to God til we are already in the heat of a battle with Satan ... well, the battle is Satan's before it has even begun. After all "on the job training" only works with some jobs ... and battling with Satan just isn't one of them. =)

Listen to the great sermons from Sunday here: http://www.oakgrovecofc.org/Recordings/

Mulling Thoughts

This week has been crazy. Things at school are a bit overwhelming and with the map test coming up (this week - eek!) and then keeping up a house and trying to make some progress on our yard and ... well, this week has just been crazy.

Meanwhile I have had lots of thoughts running around in my head, but I just haven't been able to fully develop any of them just yet.

It made me think of this post by a dear old friend: http://dirtyhands-beautifullife.blogspot.com/2012/03/watering-soul.html

Check it out! Turns out sometimes we DO just need to mull things over for a while. :)

Mastering Sins

"...and let us have the courage to master our sins." That was said in a prayer the other night. Funny enough, the prayer was said by someone who didn't even hear Uncle Jamie's sermon Sunday on mastering sin...

In Uncle Jamie's sermon he talked about a story we've all heard lots of times; the story of Cain and Able. BUT he pointed out a verse that I had apparently never paid quite enough attention to! In Gen. 4:7 God says to Cain "...sin is crouching at the door, and its desire is for you, but you must master it."

God said that! "Sin is crouching at the door and its desire is for you" but instead of saying "run!" Or "quick! Get help!" Or "stay inside forever!" He said "but you must master it".

Three parts to that: YOU. MUST. MASTER it.

You. Its your sin. Its my sin. When my kiddos at school have a self control issue I tell them "I will help you - I'll give you clues and reminders ...but I can't do it for you. YOU have to control you." ... And that's the same way it is with our sin. People can help us, remind us, be there for us -- but bottom line is I have to conquer my own sin.

Must. Seriously folks, this is not an optional thing. Not when Heaven is at stake.

Master it. "Avoidance" only works so long. Eventually we have to face a temptation - and remember that we CAN control it. And then we need to control it. And that takes courage. Extreme courage. And a whole lot of help from God and out Christian friends. But it can be done. And we must do it. Good news is, God doesn't give directions we are incapable of following - so when He says "master it" we can be assured (and comforted by the fact) that we are fully capable of doing so (so no excuses allowed).

Sin is at the door, and its desire is for you, but you must master it.

...and you can find Jamie's sermon here: http://www.oakgrovecofc.org/Recordings/2013_04_14_AM_jrinehart_MasteringSin.mp3

So, You're A Teacher ... Now What?

Disclaimer: Remember the Flannery O'Connor quote "I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say"?? Well, that definitely applys to this post. While I'd love your feedback on this post, it is mostly for me to get my thoughts out ... so that I can read them, and think about them more. =)

I always knew I wanted to be a teacher. Now, somewhere along the way I decided maybe I hadn't given other career options enough of a chance and went through a random "lets think of everything else I might possibly want to do with my life" phase. Then I remembered (realized?) that I really did want to be a teacher.

Best. Decision. Ever.

Aaannnddd I thought I was done making career decisions. Well, jokes on me.

I definitely think someone should write a book: "So, You're a Teacher. Now What?"

I really am a very opinionated person (shocking, I know - you probably never would have guessed that). BUT, when it comes to what to get my masters in, I am so ready for someone just to tell me what to do! There are so many options! So many reasons to go with each choice! ... and I don't know what to do!

Educational Technology - Technology is huge and getting huger. I do love to use it in my classroom. Really, I just love it in general -- I place full blame on my husband and his techy ways! So, I really lean towards this one! Also, it has been delcared "high needs" in our district, so I could get some $$ towards tuition (huge plus). AND I think classes will be offered on our STJ campus which would be nice (the other option is to do all online). BUT (and it's a big one) ... I am actually very reserved when it comes to technology in the classroom (at least compared to other people). I fully support technology in college, high school, moving more towards it in Middle School ... AND I love some of it in Elementary. My fourth graders eat it up. There really are some really cool things you can do with technology. BUT the key word is "some".  Using technology SOME is outstanding - but so is not using technology all the time. Kids need books in their hands. They need hands on activities (clicking and dragging doesn't count). They need ME teaching them, not the computer. And so, while I LOVE technology in the classroom, I also have this fear (irrational though it may be) that I will somehow be brainwashed to believe I should use only technology all the time! Odd....

Reading - I genuinely LOVE to read. I love books -the smell, the feel, the words, the ideas, the imagination ... I LOVE them. AND working with a group of kiddos with low reading levels this year has really shown me I have a lot to learn about helping kids learn to read (turns out being able to read yourself and being able to teach someone else to read are two very, VERY different skills). And, well, I think it is really super important for us to have teachers who know how to teach kids to read! So, this is a huge draw to me. It would be something I'm passionate about for sure. It's also high needs = $$.

Curriculum and Instruction - It's always good to learn more about designing and implementing curriculum. I could even focus in reading! So 2 in 1 in a way ... and it could turn in (way down the road) to some sort of leadership position... It's also high needs - $$.

Educational Administration - I used to really, really think I wanted to be a principal someday. I still like the idea ... kind of. But sometimes when I think about how overwhelming the job must feel sometimes it seems ...slightly less appealing. But I do love the idea of being in a position to effect change in such a way...

Bottom line is, while I LOVE my classroom and can't picture myself anywhere but in the classroom for years to come - I want to be well equipped to change the world from inside my classroom's walls. And someday maybe even outside of my classroom walls.

So, that is my current delimma ... and we'll see what happens!

Defense

As you may (or may not) know, I am generally a fan of guns. I like to hunt, I like to target practice, and I like the security my gun brings me when I get spooked at night. I like the idea of being able to defend myself and others.

I also like the fact that I feel safe in my school. I love that I don't walk around feeling like I need to actively defend myself.

I hate the fact there is no guarantee I will always feel safe in my school. I hate that there could come a time when I would need to actively defend myself.

I love that my school has a lot of security in place. I love that there are plans in place. I love that I know what I would need to do in the worst hypothetical situation.

I hate that "security in place" is not an actual guarantee. I hate that plans can fail. I hate that I even have to know what I would need to do in the worst hypothetical situation.

I love the idea of being able to defend myself and, more importantly, my kiddos.

I hate the idea of having to defend myself and my kiddos.

But I hate the idea of being helpless to defend my kiddos even more.

...

And so, I am very curious to see how this plays out: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/15/us/missouri-school-trains-teachers-to-carry-guns.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&

I am curious to see if more districts will "go there". I am curious to see how people react. I am curious to see if this idea comes "closer to home" (granted, West Plains is fairly close to home).

It's a topic worth watching, for sure. And also, a subject very much worth praying about a whole lot.

Prayers

I was going to write an awesome blog post ... but as I sit here with my computer, I am to distracted by the news to focus, so you're getting this instead.

What happened today was horrible. Terrible. Sad. Unexplainable. Horrific. Scary. Heartbreaking. Use any word you want ... it was awful.

There are pictures, tweets, facebook .... the Boston Marathon tragedy (as I'm sure it will be remembered) is everywhere you look. How horrible is it that such an event; an athletic, fun, upbeat, competitive event could turn so tragic in the blink of an eye?

What is important is this: there are times when all we can do is pray. And help in any way we can - donate (blood? money? time?). But mostly pray. And then pray more. Pray for healing, for understanding, for wisdom, for calm -- just pray. Pray for a nation who desperately needs God. Pray for a people who do not even know how badly they need God. And then pray more.

It will be interesting to watch the investigation. I am as curious as the next person as to who was behind the bombing. But will knowing the "who" help me understand the "why"? ...no. Will knowing the "who" (or even the who and why) ease the pain of those suffering? ...no. But God can ease the pain. And so, pray.

Winning

...it might be possible one is watching toooo much TV when you start having "deep" thoughts brought on by commercials.... BUT, here goes:

At the end of a Gatorade commercial the words "win from within" flashed up on screen. I'm sure that was partly because, well, one generally DRINKS Gatorade, and therefor it is inside you ... Or something like that...

It was also because unlike the motivation my school kiddos find when I bribe the with candy ... uh, I mean, when I provide them with an incentive... the motivation, drive, passion it takes to succeed at sports has to come from inside you. If you are in sports, or exercise with only external motivation, you won't get far. A parent can only push you so far, a coach or trainer can only encourage to a point, a buddy can only provide so much. Everything else, the strength to keep pushing when things get tough, has to come from within you ... And often you have to dig pretty deep for it!

Often times we want the easy solution - it's why we diet before beginning to exercise. It's why diets fail. It's why exercise doesn't last. Because, when you're in it for easy solutions and fast results and then the results don't come quickly and the results prove to be short term we lose our motivation because those things are EXternal. We succeed only when we find the internal motivation to keep going through plateaus, losses, disappointments... We win from within.

(Okay, okay, Im getting to the "deep" thought ... Don't rush me...)

Isn't it the same with our spiritual selves?! Parents can only push so far. A preacher or teacher can only encourage to a point, friends and family can only provide so much. Everything else, the strength to keep pushing when things get tough, has to come from within you ... And often you have to dig VERY deep for it.

Whether its making time to study on a busy, hard day, or standing up to peer pressure and doing the right thing even when it's hard, or going to church even when your exhausted, or standing up for God when it may feel difficult or scary ... Whatever the situation, it is often hard to be the Christians we need to be. No amount of candy bribes (or other forms of external motivation) are going to pull us through on this one folks. If we don't have the willpower inside of us (and if we aren't praying for a little more strength and wisdom every day), we aren't going to make it. W have to win from within. With lots of help from God. With lots of help from Christian friends and family to build what is inside us.

And you winning from within? Am I? Or do we find ourselves waiting or external motivation to strike us? Waiting for a friend to pull us along? Waiting for it to be easy? Just like anything else, we get out of serving God only what we put in to it ... So we have to put the best we have to give, from the deepest part of ourselves into serving God. :)

(...aaaaannnddd that is 2 posts in 1 day folks. Hope you don't mind reading...)

Two Breaths

"It takes one fool to backtrack. It takes two fools to make a conversation out of it." --Fred Jones

Fred Jone's book "Tools for Teaching" has been one of my favorite education books ever since my student teaching supervisor gave it to me last December. I mean, I read it all the way through ... Voluntarily! He just has a way of saying things that make so much since ... And crack me up. Like pointing out that every time I dignify my kiddo's back talk with a response, I am being the fool that creates a conversation out of back talk. My bad!

He also has this brilliant idea that I have really been trying to focus on ... Take two, calming breaths. Before doing ... Well, anything! It gives you time to get your fight or flight reflex in check, calm yourself down, get a game plan .... You know, not be a fool and say something reactive. I have a somewhat ... Backtalk-y? Class. So it's kind of a big deal for me to not be reactive ... It simply fuels their fire.

But I think this idea of two deep breaths will help in lots of "not my 4th grade classroom" situations, too. Like when my husband and I disagree on something. Or another adult frustrates me. Or when Im not sure how to respond to a situation. Or when Im studying with someone and am not sure how to answer a question, or when I am tempted by something.

If you haven't studied the fight or flight reflex, you should ... It is interesting how much can be blamed on that primitive instinct! So, we have to learn to control it. And hey, two deep breaths is a great start.

=)

...random informative tidbit for you: running with shin splints is not advisable. Turns out, unlike muscle soreness you cannot really "work through them", but you CAN make the worse! So, now for a couple days of Advil to get through the day, ice at night, and no running... Book!

Some Days

Any day you say "Please get that pencil out of your ear." "Did you just pull your tooth out?" "Don't put the pencil up your nose!" "Go to the sink so you're not getting blood on the table!" and "Hello, dear principal, yes, please come on in to observe me" all in one breath, you know it is going to be a fantastic day.

Or something.

Seriously, my kids have been AWESOME lately -- so there was bound to be a setback eventually! And really, I don't know that yesterday was THAT bad or if it just felt THAT bad becasue my kids have been spoiling me lately. And I was super tired. And I got observed. Regardless, it felt pretty awful! But, some things are simply out of my control -- like teeth falling out in the middle of my lesson. Ha! SO, what do you do, except keep plugging along, share a smile with the principal (who thankfully knows the group of students you have), and make it through the day as productively as possible.

And then go home and crash on the couch to re-coup before church.

Except I didn't do that this time! Instead I went home and did day 2 of the Couch to 5k program. Whoa buddy.

I love to exercise ... in random spurts. I love the idea of being fit and able to do things like run. I love the idea of dropping several pounds. I love the idea of it ... I just tend to get sidetracked a lot! And to busy! And over committed! .....And by that I mean, while I like the idea of working out, I really prefer to be lazy  --- and I really love to eat food.

So, being fit sometimes takes a back burner to that *insert blush here*.

BUT, with summer coming up, and a vacation with the family, and all kinds of lovely things like that --- I started the couch to 5k program ... and I am *fully intending to* stick with it!  Because, well, I want to be a runner! So, heres to making exercising last more than a week this time ;).

Because honestly, after I jogged instead of sitting on the couch for that 30 minutes, I didn't feel physically better, but I didn't feel worse either ... well, except for the aching in my legs. And regardless, it really did help my mind get clear enough to stop stressing about school and focus at church! So lets call it a win ;).

Learned From the Best

My momma is many, many things. Wife, daughter, sister, mother, Christian, friend, teacher, listener, crafter, gardener, cheerleader ... the list goes on and on. On Monday, she will also be the birthday girl. The big 5-0. 50. Not to long ago 50 seemed like ... ancient. But as I've grown up and watched many people grow older it has become evident that 50 isn't really that old (Im sure mom would appreciate hearing me say that). When dad turned 50 he said "I was thrilled to make it to 40 ... 50 is an even greater blessing!" ....and Im sure mom feels the same way! I love that my parents have more spunk, life, and drive, than some parents do ever ... and I especially love (and feel blessed by the fact) that they have devoted a huge amount of that spunk, life, and drive to me! So, just to remind you how awesome my mom is, here 50 things I've learned from my momma in the 22 of her 50 years I've gotten to share with her (and keep in mind these are only a few things I can think of off the top of my head ... so there are, undoubtedly, many many things I will think of immediately after hitting "publish" on this post).

1. God is the most important thing. Put Him first.
2. Family rocks. You need them, so treat them well.
3. Little things matter most.
4. It's fun to be there for the big things - you won't be if you weren't there for the little things.
5. Sometimes what people need most is for you to just be with them.
6. Kids are our worlds future. They matter.
7. Hospitality is a huge deal.
8. Seriously. Open your home to people.
9. You can only get out of something what you put into it.
10. Your always learning something ... It just may not be what you expected to learn.
11. Pray. And then pray more.
12. Singing makes everything go quicker - especially washing the dishes.
13. When you feel like giving in, buck up instead.
14. ....except for the times when your really need to give in. Listen to your body. Your no good to anyone else if you are sick.
15. Doing for others is always worth it.
16. The right thing and the easy thing are seldom the same thing. Do the right thing.
17. It does no good to say something in a way a person can't hear. Chose your words and tone wisely.
18. Stand up for what is important.
19. Be passionate and don't apologize for it.
20. ...but think before you speak.
21. Often it is best to just be quiet.
22. It pays to be a people watcher.
23. Good food brings people together.
24. There are few things better than good conversation.
25. Listen to old people. They have important things to teach us - and awesome stories, too!
26. Document the past - there will always be things to learn from it.
27. Read. A lot.
28. Give people the benefit of the doubt - they deserve it.
29. Meet people where they are at. That is the only way you can help them.
30. Perception is reality.
31. Laughter is great medicine.
32. Scripture running through your mind can get you through many tough times.
33. Read the Bible. Study it closely.
34. All the knowledge in the world cannot profit you if it isn't applied.
35. Being "right" isn't always the most important thing.
36. Have reasons for what you do. It is never good to change course with every breeze that blows.
37. Be available.
38. People are more important than things.
39. Don't waste time wallowing in self pity.
40. Make time to play - housework will always wait for you.
41. Give your best. Every time.
42. Being outdoors is healing. Nature is beautiful - pay attention to it.
43. You cannot live in fear, so live in faith instead.
44. God has a plan. Be patient, it will happen in His time.
45. It pays to keep a clean house ... You never know who might stop by.
46. Everyone is good at something.
47. There is never a time to panic ... It doesn't help anything.
48. A wife's job is to be a submissive help meet ... Equal emphasis on both parts
49. Treat people like you want to be treated, and children like real people - because they are.
50. If your focus and heart are in the right place, and you are working towards the right things, the rest will fall into place.

....like I said, there is more. But you're probably tired of reading....

I am blessed beyond measure to be learning from the very best!

Hopeful

Amidst the daily questions of "am I good enough" and "am I doing enough" and "does what I'm doing really matter anyway" and "what will happen if..." It is nice to be reminded that there are people working for the good of our kiddos by realizing the good of our teachers has to be supported.

A wonderful teacher sent me this article ... and I love it!

"In order to cater to the whole child, you need whole teachers."

It is well worth the read - if only to remind you that there is hope, there are people working for good, there are people who see needs and are stepping up to fill them.

And whether you're in the business of educating our kiddos or not, everyone can appreciate a reminder to "be the rainbow in someone else's cloud" --Maya Angelou

Comfort Zone

Comfort is a wonderful thing. A necessary thing. A thing I am very, very thankful. Seriously. Comfort is my new home with heat and electricity and my favorite rocking chair I love to sit in where I can see the TV, look out the window, play with my bird, and cozy up under a blanket and drink my coffee. Comfort zone is my 4th grade classroom when no adults are watching and I just get to teach my kiddos.

Comfort is doing only the things I know already know I am good at .... And not being judged.

Unfortunately, comfort is also NOT doing things that scare me, not doing things that are hard, not doing things that make me, we'll, uncomfortable.

I read this quote somewhere the other day ... "If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough." And I got to thinking ... Is that true? Maybe more than I'd like to think!

Sometimes being comfortable comes at the expense of not reaching one's potential. Often times (at least for me) comfort is chosen over doing something that I probably should but that would place me firmly outside my comfort zone. Like talking to a stranger (or sometimes even scarier, a friend) about the gospel. Or trying something new. Or stepping up. I am really good (at least I try to be) at speaking for God through my example ... but I am not always very good at speaking for God through my mouth! Sometimes it is VERY hard for me speak up - especially if I fear it may cause a disagreement/confrontation. It may be hard, but as was recently pointed out to me in an awesome sermon, with God it isn't too hard.

Hear that? It is hard. Things WILL be hard. But, with God on your side, nothing is TOO hard. Nothing.

So here's to bucking up and stepping outside my comfort zone. Here's to leaving behind my sense of comfort and relying on God to bring me comfort as I strive to better serve him. Here's to being more vocal and accomplishing great things.

Woops

Sooo, if there was an award for being good at blogging ... well, it would definitely not be going to me! I am not the most consistent ... sorry 'bout that :(. Sooo if you are reading this you are obviously awesomely loyal and love me a lot ... kudos! ;).

It's funny how some times I feel like I am so, so busy -- when really, I'm probably not doing anything different than I usually do ... but, ya know. We HAVE had busy weekends, Rob's been sick, AND my lovely angles at school have been, well, less angelic.

Seriously. It is like hormone central in my classroom. No one is getting along. No one is happy. At least one person cried every day this week. We had boyfriend/girlfriend drama (please remember I have 10 year olds in my class! oh man!). Blame it on sicknesses going around, hormones, a week with two short days (due to the fact that our girls basketball team is AWESOME and took 3rd in state!), too much inside recess, time of year ... whatever you want. All I know is it has NOT BEEN nearly as much FUN as usual! And it makes me tired. Booo ...

Soooo, I see some serious team building exercises in our immediate future!

Also, I am no good at big decision making - and I have been trying to decide if and what to get my masters in ... and well, that is just two to many decisions for me to enjoy! ha!

BUT on a bright side, Rob is feeling some if not much better, my lovely sister and her hubby are coming over for a bit tomorrow to see our "all moved in" house for the first time (like I said, our weekends have been busy), aaannddd I get to come home to this every night ...

Stability

I've said it before, you'll hear it again .... I LOVE the opportunity to hear lots of different people preach! What a great way to be presented tons of different thoughts that I'd likely never come up with on my own! (For the record, I also LOVE that my wonderful hubby puts them up here oakgrovecofc.org under the recordings tab so you can listen to them as we'll .... And he's recently been working on making the website even better looking!)

One of the 2 great sermons we heard on Sunday really got me thinking about stability. If I was titling the lesson it would have been something along the lines of "Knowledge is Power" - Larry made points about all the many wonderful things knowledge (of the scriptures and God's will) bring us. He included many things; understanding, fear of God, strength, etc. and one of the last points he made was that, when used correctly, knowledge increases stability.

There are SO many things that matter in our service to God, but it had been a while since I heard "stability" mentioned ... But here's the deal: Just Iike an employer doesn't want to hire an unstable person to work for them, God doesn't want unstable people working for Him, either! Colossians 1:22-23 reads "But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in His sight ... if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel..." (Established and Firm? Do not move? He's talking about stability!) Thankfully, unlike the employer who would just fire the unstable worker, God helps us out! Isaiah 33:6 reads "He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge...". He's given us everything we need find this stability. He's provided us with the words to study and find the knowledge and strength that stability takes. All we have to do is follow through and actually study!

The Marion-Webster dictionary defines stable as

1. "firmly established, not changing or fluctuating." ... Is your faith firmly established? What's more, is it firmly established in the correct things - the Bible?
2. Placed so as to resist forces tending to cause motion or change of motion. ... Can your faith, can you, resist the force of the world? Are you firmly grounded enough to hold up to peer pressure ? Work pressure? Stress of life pressure.
3. Steady in purpose: firm in resolution. Not subject to insecurity or emotional illness. Sane. ...well, are you? Now don't get me wrong - I completely understand there are mental illness beyond people's control that they do there best to work through daily. And that is fine. Each person can only do their personal best. But are you doing your best?

And you steady or wishy-washy? Are you calm and rational or easily worked up and emotional? Are you religious or just fanatical? Are your firm or easily swayed? Am I?

...funny how there are times everything seems to be hitting at the same point. After thinking about all this, for a class I am taking we were talking about how consistency is key in the classroom (see - told ya - employers don't want unstable people either). The point was made that it is simply tout possible to be "pretty consistent". You either are or you aren't. There is no "pretty". No "fairly". No "kind of". No has to mean no every time. Expectations have to be consistent in order for students to know them. Consistency is key for control.

Consistency. Stability. It isn't always easy - but then, we were never promised ease. So I'm continually working on it ... Are you? At moments when I am feeling a bit "unstable" I love to think through the song "Be Still My Soul" - it is a wonderful thing to know that we are not alone.

Taking Time

Know this woman? Most of you probably do. :). This is the late Joan Ebbesmeyer - a remarkable person.

To complete our "moving in" process (at least where furniture is concerned), my wonderful daddy brought over my desk today. He also brought a tub that he had dumped all the contents of the drawers into (uh, my bad for not cleaning out my desk in like 10 years..). Searching through the tub did provide a great opportunity for a walk down memory lane - not the least of which was triggered by this picture.

Mrs. E was many things to many people in her lifetime - to me, she was a fantastic EXCEL teacher - she introduced me to the worlds of poetry and writing and mind puzzles and GeoBoards, and Geography, and memory tricks, and higher level thinking, and well, all things awesome. And then she moved. And while we were blessed to have another wonderful teacher step in to teach EXCEL, there was a special place in my heart (and the hearts of many others) for Mrs. E.

So, I wrote her. Apparently more than I even remembered! Because, when I was cleaning out my desk I found this ....

A pile of letters I had received from Mrs. E. Who knows what all I wrote Mrs. E. I know, based on my re-reading of her letters back that she was one of the first people who knew when Isaac was going to be born. She sent me some helpful information when I did a report on France and sent me several pictures of herself on vacation. She expressed excitement about my decision to pursue a degree in Elementary Education and congratulations on my high school graduation, college graduation, and wedding plans. But honestly, I could have cared less what she wrote. I was just thrilled that she wrote.

I know I wasn't the only person who loved attention from Mrs. E. I know I wasn't the only former student who ever wrote her a letter (though I may be close to having written the most!). I know she didn't have a lot of extra time on her hands to sit around writing kids notes. But she did. She took time to answer ever one of my notes - and not just with a simple card or short few words ... but a real, "adult-like" letter that meant the world to me each time I received them.

Mrs. E made me want to be a poet - a love that I still secretly dabble in. She nurtured my obsession with "wise quotes" and "cute sayings". She taught me to follow my passions. She taught me to reach out to others. She proved one person can change the world.

I'll probably never travel the world quite like Mrs. E (or, anything like Mrs. E did if we're being honest...). I'll probably never publish as many writings and books as she did (even though someday I'd love to! If I even knew where to start...). But, thanks largely to her inspiration, I will teach.. (Okay, okay, you could argue that I'll probably never teach quite like Mrs. E ... but a girl's gotta dream!).

Looking back through all Mrs. E's letters it amazed me, once again, how she was able to touch my life so much from far away (okay, 2 hours away - but rarely seen!). Mostly because she took the time. She took the time write me back. Every time. She took the time to send me pictures. She took the time to write me poems (or include already written poems). She took the time to talk to me like a real person - not a little kid. She took the time to expect a lot from me - and let me know that she was expecting a lot. She took the time.

I want to teach like Mrs. E. I want to be that awesome. And I want to have enough time - always. Even when my life is crazy hectic as I'm sure her's often was. I want to remember to take the time to make the impact. Because I'm so thankful she did.

Finding Blessings

Friday we have a professional development day ... a.k.a. no kids, but lots of meetings day. On these days we get a lunch break and get to LEAVE SCHOOL to eat (it's amazing!). So, Friday I plan on having the 4th grade teachers over for lunch.

I'm super excited because this is the first time (of hopefully many!) I get to share our home with others which is one of the main reasons I'm excited to have a bigger house!

The week has been crazy already and I don't see it getting any easier as the week goes on - I'm sure my kids will be just as crazy tomorrow and Thursday as they were yesterday and today, and I'm sure I will be equally as tired as I am now! Sooo, I decided it wouldn't be the best plan to leave all my house cleaning till Thursday along with the lunch prepping ... and since Wednesday nights go quickly with dinner and church and sleep, that left me tonight. Therefore, (be proud of all my transition word usage -- we are working on that in class!) I decided that between school and heading to Owensville for a basketball game, I better at least get the basement cleaned and ready to go! What a bummer way to spend my hour home alone (before Rob got off work)!

Thankfully, on the way I home I happened to hear a song that mentioned "the things you take for granted started out as blessings first".

Now, our house is brand new and I am a llloooonnnggg way from taking it for granted. But some of the stuff IN the house is not so new and exciting. And, lets face it, I just really don't like cleaning house! I'll go weed your garden any day ... but clean house? Bleh! But, the song got me thinking, so I decided to try to remember to see the blessings behind the things in my basement ...

Easy ones first:

           - I didn't really enjoy dusting the legs on the pool table. I mean, I had to bend over. Eeek! (ha). But come on -- I was dusting A POOL TABLE that we own. Whoa.

           - I HATED vaccuuming the stairs ... but they were leading down to the basement that we now have. That holds a pool table. And an awesome game area. And an office.

           - Dusting around computer stuff and cords and nintendo systems and swords and various Zelda memorbilia is definitely not my favorite. But, I am so thankful that we have the means to support my husbands passions ... and even more thankful that he uses those things to do great things like make this super cool website www.oakgrovecofc.org.

I could go on ... but dinner is ready to be taken off the stove and I have a game to get to. So, long story, short: did this "blessing finding" make cleaning the basement more fun? More exciting? Even remotely enjoyable? Well ... sorry to disapoint those of you who were holding out for a life changing moment ... no. It didn't. It won't make cleaning the upstairs more exciting or fun on Thursday evening either. BUT, just like the understanding of one student making my extra hours of planning worth it, aiming to find the blessing of cleaning my house did make the cleaning feel more worth it. So hey, a wins a win. :)

          

Motivational

...please excuse my sparatic posting! Seems like like is crazy and busy and crazy busy! Every "free" moment is spent on the house or watching basketball games ... it doesn't leave a lot of time to sit at the computer -- and I wouldn't have it any other way!

If you know me at all (or have read this at all) you already know that I pretty much have the best family ever. Not even exaggerating one bit. There are so many wonderful individuals that make up my family tree - and as a whole, they form a group that I am extremely blessed to be a part of.

One of these awesome individuals is my sister. She is amazing. 2 years older than me she has always been there for me both to pick on and look up to. We are best friends and really always have been. I taught her to crawl (she skipped that and went straight to walking), she taught me how to use watercolor paint on your stomach (I'm sure mom was thrilled!). We've talked about school and boys and friends and husbands and God together. We've learned from each other. In college we lived down the hall from each other and/or were suite mates (depending on the year) and would often come out of our rooms wearing the same shirt. Today at church we showed up in such similar outfits everyone noticed. We are just that awesome. SHE is that awesome. And I love her to death.

And every. single. day. when I am saying my prayers I say a special prayer for "my Heather". I pray for lots of things for her and it changes by the day. But I always, always add in a "thank-you part" for "my Josh".

I have never been more thankful to see someone come into my sisters life than I was when Josh came into the picture. There are many, many reasons behind that. Not the least of which is how awesome he is. They make a great pair! I truly believe they bring out the best in one another - and I am so thankful they have one another! And, I am also very thankful to have both of them. :).

Josh is one of a kind. He's a coin collector. A basketball coach. A brother. An explorer. A risk taker. A goofball. A storyteller. A teacher. A friend. A preacher. He pours his heart into his basketball boys and team. It amazes me what he is willing and able to put into those highschoolers who may or may not give a fraction of it back on any given day. They don't always win - but he stays positive and upbeat and keeps working hard. He teaches them more than just basketball. It's awesome to watch. He is someone my little brother can look up to - and does very much. I still feel like I'm getting to know him! I love learning from him and picking his brain. His Bible knowledge astounds me. His enthusiasm for each thing he decides to do is contagious. His devotion to God is inspiring. I could go on and on about this guy and the reasons I am glad he is part of our family.

But really, what this post is about is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofmFb8zMZA4

Josh has a talent. An extreme talent. He is a preacher. His way with words never ceases to astound me. And this sermon is one of my favorites. If you are looking for a motivational speech, a "kick in the pants", an end to any excuse-making ... this is it. Listen to it. Really listen to it. And if9; it doesn't make you want to change for the better, well, you might want to listen again!

Insecurities

Soooo, we started flexing right after Thanksgiving break ... so I've had my new classes of kids about 7 weeks or so. And most of the time I feel really great about what I / we are doing in there. I think we're making progress. I think we're really learning. I know we're making a difference.

                    And then, today, I gave a unit test. A big test. An intimidating test.

During the test, I thought they were doing really well! Angie (Mrs. P - our sped teacher) pulled a group to the table. I circulated to answer questions. They worked hard! They did great.

                                             And then I graded the tests. 

                                                       Whoa buddy. 

These kids are in our class (Mrs. P and I are co-teaching) because they are low. I get that. We work with them every day. We modify activities. We skill and drill. We do hands on. We do groups. We do higher level. Well, we do "higher level". I know these kids are low. But when you work with them so much and understand their way of thinking and modify ... sometimes you forget  HOW low.

And then you give them a test. A test that all of 4th grade is taking, not just them. You have to ignore the fact that they have different strengths. You take away the hands on. You throw a 4th grade reading level passage at them even though they read at a 2nd or 3rd grade level. And you just, simply, test them. And they don't do so well.

I kinda freaked out. It made me doubt everything I had done with these kids for 7 weeks. Maybe I wasn't doing enough. Maybe we haven't made as much progress as I thought.

I texted my wonderful teacher buddy who has our "low" math group. She reassured me that, well, these kids are low. And this is a "true standardized test". And a c average is, well, expected from the group. And I am not awful.

I went from being totally panicked to being somewhat panicked and somewhat angry. I HATE that I have to test my kids. I hate that their grade will reflect a standard mold that they do not fit in. They simply don't fit that mold. But look at their research projects we worked so hard on. Look at the dioramas they are so proud of. Listen to them tell you about the book we just read together that the LOVED (Shiloh). Let them draw you a picture. Play a game with them. Let them tell you a story.

They are so far above average in many ways. Just simply not on the test I gave them today. I get that. I expected that ... and it is still super frustrating to see it reflected in test scores.

     Turns out I don't like *giving* tests any more than I ever liked *taking* tests. Go figure.