Problem Solving

Yesterday was a frustrating day. My kids were giving no effort. It's like they have checked out and can't focus on school anymore at all. All week they excelled while at my teacher center, but could not give me the same results when working independently. This came to a head Friday when many of them bombed a quiz on a skill I expected them to do great with. And I mean like a 0% bomb.

"you can do better than this" I told them. "Please try this again."

And they did try again. And they did much better.

We, of course, had the "do it right the first time." "give your best effort." "If you got 100% the 2nd time, you could have done that the 1st time" talk.

And I was freaking out. We have a benchmark test in three short weeks. We have the MAP test in 7 weeks. Now is NOT the time for us to mentally check out.

And then I *hated* the thoughts in my head.

Since when do I worry that much about a standardized test? Since when am I okay with a skill and drill format?

Here's the thing .... I'm not.

I have kiddos that are low readers. Half of the students in my class have IEPs. These kids need connections. They need me to tie everything to the real world. To give them hands on activities. To make things stick. They desperately need things to be fun.

And I didn't give them that last week.

So, next week you won't find my kiddos doing worksheets. You will find us learning about sequencing. You will find us reviewing figurative language. But there won't be any skill and drill. Instead there will be story reading. And paper folding. And creating monsters based on similes and metaphors. Because that's fun. And that's memorable. And that's what we need.

Granted, at some point we will still have to rectify this idea of "I don't have to try the first time I do a quiz" ... because that really could be terrible when we get to our major testing. But having fun has been known to magically fix all kinds of problems before. So maybe, just maybe, when I give a skills quiz at the end of the week my kids will give their best effort the first time and our problem will be solved. :)

The Doldrums

If you haven't read "The Phantom Tollbooth" by Norton Juster ... Go do it. It is, quite possibly, the best fiction book of all time. The wit. The humor. The word play. I. Love. It.

If you've never read it and therefore never met Milo ... I'm sorry. He's a guy worth knowing and takes a trip worth going on. However, right towards the beginning of the trip Milo runs into a problem. In the midst of a day dream he suddenly realizes the car he was driving has stopped completely, and he has no idea where he is.

Soon we meet a group of small creatures known as the Lethargians who inform Milo that he is in The Doldrums.

In The Doldrums it is against the law to think. It is against the law to laugh. And to smile. And yet, though the Lethargians cannot think nor laugh, they somehow manage to have a completely full schedule ...  you see, "...its really quite strenuous doing nothing all day."

Thankfully for Milo, the 'terrible' watchdog who is 'always sniffing around to see that nobody wastes time' comes by. When he asks Milo why he is there, Milo has no real answer, but claims he was headed somewhere else when he got stuck here. Milo asks for help ... But the watchdog says Milo must help himself. 'I suppose you know why you got stuck.' The watchdog states.

'I guess I just wasn't thinking' Milo replies.

*GASP*

How often am I stuck in the doldrums? How often do I find myself in some pit of boredom or loneliness? How often do I feel stuck? How often am I idle? How often do I sin by not doing things? How often am I just plain lazy? How often do I wonder how I got where I am?....how often do all those things happen because I just wasn't thinking?

All. Too. Often.

And let me tell you ... It really is quite strenuous doing nothing all day.

But don't worry ... The watchdog soon informs Milo that "...since you for here by not thinking, it seems reasonable to expect that, in order to get out, you must start thinking." So with the watchdogs help, Milo's wheels are soon turning again, taking his car in the direction he had wanted to go in the first place.

How obvious. How straight forward. How simple.

So here's to thinking. To doing. To being about God's business. To progress. To passion and determination. To gumption. And to lots and lots of thought.

Because Milo's fantastically awesome story would have never been written had he remained stuck in The Doldrums ... And neither would mine.

Perceptions, Line Walking, and Why I Don't Drink

Through the Bible, God gives us lots of directives in lots of different ways. Sometimes the easiest to understand are the direct commands/prohibitions. Like "Do not steal". "Do not murder." "Do not be drunk with wine." Many of these things we do not question. I honestly have never heard anyone question God when he said 'Do not steal'. No one wants to know how many things you have to take for it to count as stealing. No one cares to ask if it counts if you're only stealing from your family or friends. We just agree stealing is something that shouldn't be done, and move on. Likewise, we don't argue the finer points of murder. We don't hold discussions on "what if you only murder someone a little bit?" We don't have a certain age at which murdering becomes okay.

But "Do not be drunk with wine"? There are about five billion questions and hypothetical situations for that. How drunk is drunk? Does a buzz count? What about social drinking? What if I am "of age"? What if I only drink occasionally? What if I only drink in my own home? What if...? 

I can't answer those questions for everyone. But I can answer them for myself. So here are my personal conclusions reached from thought, discussion, and most of all, Bible study. It's a lengthy post ... buckle up.

From high school to now I have probably ... most definitely ... turned down hundreds of invitations to "go out" with friends. And I hate it every time. Obviously I like the people I choose as friends - and I genuinely like spending time with them. But when the purpose of going out is to "let down and have a good time thanks to alcohol", I decline. I thought that "peer pressure" would get easier to avoid when I graduated high school, and then college. But it never becomes easy or fun to turn down time with friends. But I do. And why?

*The obvious

Well, first and foremost, because the Bible says "Do not be drunk with wine".

• Ephesians 5:18 says "Do not be drunk with wine."
• Galatians 5:21 lists "drunkenness" in a list of things ended with "they which do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."
• 1 Corinthians 6:10 has a similar list and thought.
• Titus 2:3 encourages women to be "not given to much wine"

The list goes on and on. So here it is plain and simple: If the Bible tells us not to do something and we do it anyway, it is sin. Whether it's murder, stealing, adultery, fornication, or drunkenness, the Bible says not to. If I do, I'm sinning. End of story.

**Line walking

So we've ruled out getting drunk. But what about a little casual/social drinking?

When I ask one of my kiddos at school to walk down the hallway, I expect them to walk. Sometimes they take off running. When I ask them to come back and try again, they may then start skipping (and this will, of course, be accompanied with a whine of "but I didn't rrruunnn!"). They will try again, and they will probably take of "fast walking" with the occasional skip. And then just fast walk. And then, eventually, they will walk. Up until the point where they are actually walking, they are trying to walk a line ... a fine line ... between what I want them to do and what they want to do. They are trying to figure out how close they can get to ignoring me before they will get in trouble. Kids are natural born 'line walkers'.

Unfortunately, line walking is something we do not easily outgrow. A dad tells his teenager to "be home at 9." Teenager says "how 'bout 10?" A professor says "Type a 5 page paper" and the student thinks "That's fine I'll use size 14 font and double space!". We push lines. We stretch boundaries. Its what we do. But is it worth your soul?

God says "do not be drunk". So instead we "get a buzz". We "only drink a little". We toe the line - carefully. But do you know what happens to people who walk a line? They eventually push it a little to far. It is inevitable. You build up a tolerance. You drink a little more each time. One drink makes another drink not seem like such a bad idea. your inhibitions are lowered. you drink a little more. You tempt yourself. Eventually, you get drunk. And then you may get drunk again. And even if it feels good. Even if it helps you forget about your struggles and woes, it is sin.  

Every time we sin our conscious grows a little tougher to prick. We get a little more used to it. It becomes a little less of a big deal to us. We get better at sinning. We get more used to turning our backs on God. We get more comfortable with the very sins that are going to stand between us and heaven. So why drink at all? Why walk the line? Why tempt yourself more than necessary until you are bound to slip up? To me, it isn't worth it at all. Honestly, there are enough temptations in this world. There are enough things I have to pray for forgiveness for - enough things that I have to "watch myself" on. I don't need to put myself in situations where I will be faced with another temptation - especially one that feeds itself.

***Perceptions

There are those who would say (and have said) "The Bible only says 'do not be drunk'. I can drink and not be drunk, so I'm good". Well, here is my question to them: who cares? Who cares if you can drink and not be drunk? Does the bar tender think to him/herself "I know this person is just drinking a little and not getting drunk"? Does the liquor store worker think "I'm sure this person is only going to drink this in their home a little at a time and never get drunk?" Do your friends think "I know she only drinks a little and would never dream of getting drunk even accidentally"? Does the teenager or friend who looks up to you as a role model think "they are so strong for drinking and never ever getting drunk?" 

NO! They do not think those things. If you think they do, you need to take a long honest look at yourself. You know what the bartender and liquor store owner think? "Here is some more easy $$ from someone who needs their alcohol!". You know what the impressionable teenager thinks? "If they can do it, I can too!" 

In a society where we are often encouraged to "not care" what people think of us, I would like to propose that it DOES matter what people think of us. If I am *honestly* trying to serve God and bring people to him, it matters a great deal what people think of me. If people think I get drunk (even if I don't), then they will assume that I think it is okay to be drunk. If they think I get drunk and therefore think they can too and therefore they go out and get drunk, then I have contributed to them stumbling! Romans 14:21 says "It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor anything whereby thy brother stumbles or is offended...". Mark 9:42 says "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believes in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone was hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea". 

No one wants that on their conscious. No one wants their example to keep someone else out of heaven. It matters what people see us do. It matters what they hear us say.

****Conclusion

SO why don't I drink? Because the Bible says not to be drunk, and I don't want to tempt myself and toe the line. Because I want people to look at my life and be able to see that I have done my best to please God and to live by His word. Because it matters what people think of me if my life is being lived to give glory to God. Because I love God and I aim to please Him. Because when I tell my students "do not run" I expect them not to do anything like running - so when God tells me not to get drunk, I prefer not to push His lines - but rather to take Him at His word.

There is a story that I have heard numerous times: A giant field was split by a fence. On one side, stood Jesus. On the other side, Satan. The field full of people were asked to choose a side. And they did. All except one man. (We'll call him the line walker). This man didn't want to choose. So, instead of walking to one side or the other, he climbed up and sat on top of the fence. Jesus took his group and disappeared. But, when Satan went to leave he came over to the man. "Come with me" Satan said. "But," the man said, "I chose neither you nor Him. I sat on the fence!" "That's okay," said Satan. "I own the fence." (for a better telling, look here)

According to the Bible, if we are drunk, we are sinning. End of story. If you are trying to toe the line, I would caution you greatly. Not only are lines easy to step over and fences easy to fall off of, Satan owns the fence - and he is eager to collect. 1 Peter 5:8 "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."

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This post may make you uncomfortable. It may make you mad. It may make you mad at me.

Please know that I write this from the viewpoint of my own personal study. I would love to hear your thoughts based on the study you have done. 

Please know that I write this from a place of love. My view of you as a person has not changed. I love you the very same as before I wrote this post. I think no less of you than I did earlier today. I am not judging you. I am simply sharing what I believe the Bible teaches. The Bible, God's word, serving God ... these things are very important to me. More than anything, I want to go to Heaven. And I desperately want to take the world with me. Namely, you. Getting to heaven isn't easy. It's a small gate A narrow road.  An often rocky path (Matthew 7:13-14). And we need each others help to make it. Sometimes helping each other with such important, passionate matters is not easy. But Heaven will surely be worth it all.

Think Time

I absolutely love snowy days. I don't love making up missed school. I don't love the cold. I don't love taking my dog out in the snow. I don't love shoveling the snow. But, when you are all snowed in, there is so much good that does occur. I love sitting by my fire place. I love cuddling up on the couch and reading. I love throwing my hair in a pony tail and putting on sweat pants.

Mostly though, I love the think time.

Some days I feel like I go 500 miles a minute. I get up at 5:20. I go to bed at 10. And I don't stop in between. I play fetch with the dog while frantically getting ready. I go over lesson plans in my head while I drive to school. I meet with parents. My phone rings 12 times a day asking me to send kids here or there. Kids hand me notes. Kids have questions. Then I sit on the couch and grade papers and make more lesson plans and all of the sudden, even though I may not be able to tell you exactly what I accomplished with my evening, its time for bed.

And on those days, even if I hear some amazing nugget of inspiration, read some amazing quote, or have a brilliant thought shared with me ... I may not process it. I may not comprehend it. I may not think too deeply about it. 

So on snowed in afternoons like today, it is wonderful to sit. And think. And process. And sometimes read a book!

Like the book I just finished.... "Hello, I'm Your Bible: A Practical Guide to Accurately Handling the Word of Truth" by Jason Hardin. It is exactly what it claims to be - practical. It is an "easy" read and fairly comprehensive about lots of big ideas. It challenged me - it inspired me - it made me think. Check it out.

...and now I'm off to do some more reading ... you know, a break down of the MAP test. Hopefully I'll have enough think time to process it and find some way to tackle it! ;).

Snow Day Rambles

I absolutely L-O-V-E snow days. There is just something about the unplanned (and therefor unbusied) day and the fact that you can't go anywhere any way that makes the day seem so marvelously relaxing. My absolute favorite part of these kind of days are the sssllloooowww mornings.

I am pretty sure that being rushed in the morning is one of the most terrible things in the world. I think it sets a unhappy tone for the whole day. Seriously drives me crazy ... to the point that I generally wake up about 30 minutes early so I can spend down time playing fetch with the dog, drinking coffee, or changing outfits 5 times ... you know, depending on the day...

But on snow days I don't have to get up early. I get to sleep in. And then, when the dog can't stand it any longer and just has to get up to go outside, I get to laugh at the cold and go back inside for a cup of coffee.

I love that I can sit and watch the news and drink coffee and start some laundry, maybe do a few dishes ... and then drink another cup of coffee. I love that (since I can't get my car out to go anywhere anyway) "getting ready for the day" becomes pulling my hair up and and putting on some sweat pants. I love that I get to actually make breakfast .. you know, more than just cheerios and peanut butter. I love that I get to sit and read my Bible. I love that I get to watch the snow out the window. I love that I get to just be in the quiet of morning. Well, if you can call the dog chasing the cat (who got promoted to house cat for a couple of days to escape the cold) and the bird screeching at the racket (and out of nerves thanks to the kitty cat...) quiet. But, lets be honest ... that's my kind of quiet.

I keep hearing people say how they are going stir crazy ... and I just don't get it! I could do this whole cooking 3 meals a day, watching the news a couple of times, cuddling with my cat and dog, walking in the beautiful snow, and playing games with my hubby thing all. the. time. And be perfectly happy doing it. Does that make me like 90 years old?

So, I guess what I'm saying is that if more of this beautiful stuff

means more of this beautiful stuff ....

then I am aaalll for it.

What I'm Bringing

Among all the exclamations of "Happy New Year", well wishes, and resolution sharing that happened on Facebook last night, one friend posted this: "What the new year brings you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the new year." Oh, how true that is!

So, as I jump in to 2014, here are some things I'll be bringing with me!

**Ever increasing patience and calmness. Because, lets be honest, we could all use more patience. And over reacting never really helps any situation. Especially not where 4th graders, or stubborn puppies, or husbands, or friends or ... well, any one, is involved.

**Increased dedication to health and wellness - physical and spiritual. Eating a little better, exercising a little more, reading my Bible more consistently, dwelling on the Word of God more. A dedication to spend more time with God. To love Him more. To be like Him more.

**Extra confidence. In God. In myself. In my ability to stand up for God. In my ability to create opportunities for God ... and then take advantage of those opportunities and do it.

**An increasingly positive attitude. That is not rocked by silly things. That doesn't get frustrated with people or self, but instead seeks out the best in others and situations. To not be stressed by all the things a day has to offer, but to embrace those things and make them work.

**A bigger, better, sense of humor. When you work with 10 year old hooligans kiddos  all day, you need a sense of humor. When you come home to a sometimes sarcastic goofball the best husband ever, you need a sense of humor. When the dog chews things up, you need a sense of humor. It never hurts to get a laugh out of things!

**Prayers for a little ... or a lot ... more wisdom. To know the right thing to say. To know the right time, place, and way to say the right thing. To know the right thing to do and to do it. To be more perceptive. More preventative. More ... wise.

**A better separation of work and life. I mean my work is my life. And I LOVE my work. But my work is also - at times - emotionally draining. Because I work with kids ... and while that is the most wonderful thing in the world, it can easily suck all your effort, all your time, right into the school and leave you with not much to bring home. And that isn't fair to my husband, my dog, myself, the dirty dishes in my sink ....

**A better use of time. To quit whining about how much time I don't have, and simply make time for the important things. To get my lesson planning and copying and class work done and then leave school. To not come home and sit on the couch thinking about everything I need to do, but to actually do it. To exercise. To clean. To study. To give of my time to others more. To give my time to God more. To blog more.

Unfortunately, none of things I plan on bringing to 2014 are easily attained one day and then kept forever. I guess that's the thing about things that matter ... they take time and work and effort all the time. You don't "get them" and then "have them" ... you develop them, and then you keep developing them. And some day people will notice you've "got it", but you'll know there is so much more you can work on. Because when it comes to being all you can be and all you can be for God the work is never done. It's just beginning. So, here's to embracing that challenge and serving God with all that we are while we are here on this earth.


And, if you're looking for a recap of 2013, here's one Google+ put together for me (it's a slideshow of just a few of the pictures I took on my phone during the year, randomly chosen by Google+ and e-mailed to me as a pleasant surprise). 2013 held a new (and our first) owned home, a great job, a sweet puppy, a wonderful husband, amazing friends, and the best family a girl could ask for (complete with a fantastic vacation with them). I am truly blessed beyond measure. Enjoy.

Beginning of Year Craziness

        Today was an absolutely beautiful day. It was a chilly fall day ... 60 degree weather, foggy, cool and damp ... beautiful. I came home from work, my hubby was just starting laundry (amazing all on it's own!), we took the dog for a walk, and then came home and had waffles and eggs for dinner.

        And I think I felt like a regular person for the first time in WEEKS. Like since school started. Don't get me wrong, after dinner I still graded a stack of papers and spent an hour working on my Grad class homework ... BUT, for that brief moment (and this one!) I got to remember what it is like to have a life outside of school. And it was marvelous! ha!

        Don't get me wrong, I am LOVING every minute of school ... well, okay, almost every minute. There have been a couple moments I could have done without, but that is to be expected when you hang out with 9 year olds all day! :). Seriously, over all this year is great. My homeroom is fantastic, each of my classes is an adventure all it's own, my kids are great, my colleagues are wonderful, and I get to wake up and go do what I love every day.

        There have been a ... few ... moments our room has been full of craziness, a couple of times my co-teacher and I have had to just look at each other and laugh, one lesson I stopped completely - reworked - and tried again the next day, and a time or two I was pretty sure we weren't getting anywhere ... but guess what, we WERE getting somewhere.

         And there are moments that prove it ... like today we started guided reading and the kids were marvelous. And when the kids got excited at the news that all their prewriting strategies have payed off and then get to start actually drafting tomorrow. AND today we got to bring out "Skelly" the skeleton! I brought him out for my two ELA classes, but my homeroom was so excited we decided to study him as well! So, we decided to do some research on skeletons and the human body ourselves :).

This is my homeroom filling out KWL charts about Skelly the skeleton -- they are excited to learn more about him!

        But, no matter how much I love my job, 4 weeks of 10 hour days (7-5) + 2 or 3 hours in at school each weekend was = one stressed out me ... which isn't fun for anyone involved (including my students! and my poor husband!). So, today it was nice to "get away" for a bit, take a deep breath, and remember that this "beginning of the year craziness" really doesn't last forever =).