The Unknown Struggles

I paint my nails every other day or so. 

Literally.

I'm not saying that because I'm terribly proud of it... It's actually sort of ridiculous. I can't even really claim to enjoy it. I'm not great at it, and I don't like sitting still long enough for them to dry, So they often have smudges and imperfections.

I don't necessarily even paint them because I want them to look pretty. I definitely don't do it because I expect you to look at my hands and be in love with how great my nails look.

I paint my nails every other day because I'm a habitual nail biter in recovery. For the first time in my life that I can remember I have meals to the ends of my fingers. They are mostly healthy. They are less prone to breakage than they were.

But, when the paint chips or the imperfections become too much, I start picking at them. And picking at them quickly turns to chewing on them ...  which takes me from being "in recovery" to "I'm a nail biter". 

I paint my nails every other day because nail biting was a bad habit, and I'm trying to make nail care a better habbit. 

But you wouldn't know how hard I'm working on that if you just saw me. You wouldn't even know it if I just told you I paint my nails every other day or so. 

I'm not the only one working on a problem that not everyone knows about. I'm not the only one who's doing something that may seem silly to others because it's helping me any real way.

Working on ourselves is a lifelong process. Sometimes one that goes in loops. Sometimes when those frustrating and tedious and tiring.

It's something we're all doing all the time. We don't always know about each others struggles. But we can always be understanding, even if the struggles we don't see and know about. 

Don't feel silly when you are working on you. 

A Driving Faith

One day as we drove through town, the stoplight turned red. As I slowed down to stop, the car behind us got a bit closer than usual and my kiddo riding in the very back expressed concern. 

"How do you *know* the other cars will stop anyway, mom?" She asked.

The answer was ... I don't *know* that they will, but I sure hope that they do. 

In fact, every time I climb behind the wheel Im putting a lot of faith in people. Faith that they will stay on their side of the road. Faith that they'll obey traffic laws. Faith that they'll pay attention and be focused. Faith that they'll react predictably and we'll to unforseen situations. 

I put my faith in these strangers every day. 

I put my faith in these humans whom I know get distracted and make mistakes. 

If we can have faith that other drivers, imperfect as humans are, can be good drivers ... Why do we sometimes struggle to have complete faith in God?

Perfect God. Who doesn't get distracted. Who doesn't make mistakes. Who doesn't have road rage. Who won't let us down. More assuredly than we can trust any other human, we can have complete and total faith in Him. 

How do I know those other drivers will stop when they're supposed to? I don't. But I have faith that my God is with me, and all around me. So whether the other cars stop or don't stop, He will carry me through.

Moments

There are moments when you'll feel invisible. 

Moments when no one notices the clean living room before dumping out more toys into it's floor. 

Moments when no one wants the dinner you cooked.

Moments when they only notice the bag and snack you usually pack to keep them busy and happy because you forgot it this one time. 

Moments when weeks go by without a thank you, because they honestly don't even see the behind the scenes work you do. 

Those moments are real. And they aren't always fun. 

But there are also the moments that remind you it's worth the hard ones. 

Moments when they shine and you see your training pulling through.

Moments when they help someone else without prompting and you think maybe they noticed you after all. 

Moments when they actually see and remember to say thankyou. 

Moments when they say "sit by me mom". 

Those moments are real too. And they are absolutely precious.

Examples Galore

Every morning when I hit snooze on my alarm and am trying to talk myself into climbing out of bed, I say a prayer. 

I pray for energy to get me through whatever the day holds. I pray for patience in each situation and each person (namely my own littles. And, I pray for wisdom to know what to say and do, and how to say and do it.

The thing is, no two days are the same. No two situations require exact the same thing. And we never know quite what's going to be asked of us throughout a day. 

I'm so incredibly thankful that we have a God who knows and I can trust in. And I'm so thankful that His word has examples I can turn to when I need a guidance and inspiration. 

There's a story for just about everything I may need to do, there's something I can relate to any situation, and there's a person whose "been through that already" for everything I may come across 

.... and I pray that as each time comes, I'm ready to do each of those things, too. 

Exhausted Rockstars

Most of my blogs are reminders to myself that I simply share with you, too. This one is no different. 

School is exhausting, new things are exhausting, and the "mom is my safe place" melt downs can be real. 

But, no matter how old they are, your kiddo is a rockstar, and they are so lucky to have someone supporting them through this season of adjustments. 

https://herviewfromhome.com/your-kids-are-exhausted-by-the-start-of-the-school-year/

(I'm trying something new, so you'll have to click the link to view!)

Don't Ask Me What's For Dinner

*a teacher mom's tired plea*

Don't ask me what's for dinner.

I can't begin to say, 

truth be told, I just don't know, 

we may just not eat today.

Oh theres food inside the pantry,

and plenty in the fridge,

but it's quite possible I'll cry

if you ask me what food that is.

You know that I am starving,

I just can't bring myself to think,

or make one more thoughtful decision,

my brain's pushed past the brink.

The day's been long and tiring,

people with so many questions to ask,

and every choice was mine to make,

no responsibility could pass.

Who needed this, who wanted that,

Should I reprimand or hug?

What do we do next? Which form do we use?

all day on me the tug...

Drills and emails and phone calls,

questions of "how do we do this",

think through each one, check every box,

so the important things we don't miss.

No, don't ask me whats for dinner,

it's liable to make me shout.

I can't think through even one more thing...

maybe we'll just eat out.