Cleaning the Deck

You know what gets done to a deck when one is pregnant and tired through the fall and adjusting to being a working mom in the spring? ... A whole lot of nothing gets done.

But even though I've done nothing to the deck this past year, when I looked out the door, something had happened to it anyway. Without me doing a single thing, the deck was covered in leaves and sticks and acorns. Covered.

And you know what was under those leaves and sticks and acorns? More rotting leaves. And under them? Mold growing, and rot beginning. Ew.

I had excuses for not working on the deck ... Excuses so good, in fact, I believe you could even call them real reasons! ....but nature didn't care about my reasons, it simply took advantage of my doing nothing.

Isn't that how our spiritual selves are too? Sometimes we do nothing. Sometimes we even have really great excuses for doing nothing! ...but Satan doesn't care about our reasons. He simply takes advantage of our doing nothing.

Though I'm doing nothing wrong, if I'm not actively doing something right ... Leaves fall. What empty spaces we leave - however small - Satan quickly fills.

And suddenly we are growing mold. And rotting. Ew.

Good news is, just like I (with a while lot of help from my Hubby) can fix the deck, we (with a whole lot of help from our God and Christian family) can fix our spiritual selves.

1) Cleaning. Today I swept the deck, we used a chemical cleaner, and Rob power washed. Spiritually, sometimes we need to celan house!

2) Replacing. Some of the deck boards were rotted out and Rob had to cut out the rotted parts .... But he didnt just leave the holes! He placed in new boards. Sometimes, we need to mend things with others and within ourselves to get where we want to be spiritually. We can't leave holes when we clean the old/bad things out ... We need to fill our hearts and lives with new, Godly things.

3) Preventing. For us, this means staining the deck to help protect it ... And buying a canopy to place over part of it (yay!). Spiritually, it means studying Gods word, meditating on Him, and surrounding ourselves with good.

The thing about fixing decks is its quite doable, but it does take a little elbow grease and whole lot of consistency. When you live in the woods, leaves are a constant ... And if I want the deck to stay nice, I will have to constantly deal with them.

And aren't our spiritual selves the same way? We need to put the effort in - and stay consistent - because Satan will always come around again ... And we need to consistently resist him.

Dear Daughter

Sunday is Miss Lydia's due date. She could come at any time (though as of yet we have no signs of anything except the fact that she must be quite comfortable exactly where she is...). We have bags packed. Car seats installed. And now, we hurry up ... And wait.

I am no good at waiting.

I like to plan. I like to schedule. I like to know when things are going to happen.

I guess this won't be the last time Miss Lydia rocks my world.

Unfortunately, waiting gives me lots of time to think ... And. Since its apparently a bit late to back out of this whole labor and delivery thing, I'm trying to focus my thinking in positive directions ... Like thinking about who I want to help my daughter become. I know I'll spend the rest of my life giving her all that I can - and I know there is so much more than I've thought of at this point ... But here is what I've got so far:

Dear daughter,

We want to give you the world. We being your Daddy and I ... But also your grandparents, and great grandparents, and a whole host of aunts and uncles, great aunts and uncles, cousins, honarary family members, and a whole community of friends. The "we" that will surround you from the moment you enter this world. The "we" that has loved you ever since your Daddy and I announced your existence.

I can't wait to show you how awesome this group of people - our family - is. I can't wait to share you with them, and them with you. I can't wait to help you learn what family means. I hope I can help you see how blessed you are!

And there are lots of other things I hope for you, too.

I hope you get your Daddy's sense of humor and quick wit ... And I hope you learn to temper it with a woman's grace.

I hope you find your Daddy's understanding of numbers and math and finances ... but I hope you find a love of words and literature from me.

I hope you are able to always see the good in people and help them see it too.

I hope you love music and acting and art and all things beautiful.

I hope you enjoy sports and games regardless of whether you win or lose.

I hope you learn to love to help people and learn to understand the importance of simply 'being there'.

I hope we can show you the greatness of God and help you find a deep love for him.

I hope you grow to understand the importance of serving Him always.

I hope we can help you learn to prioritize God - family - passions - self ... And learn to balance the many things you will do.

I hope you question everything ... And then dig deep to find the answers for yourself.

I hope we help you explore and discover and try new things.

I hope you - and we - work together to discover and then embrace who you are.

I hope that you have the drive to chase your dreams.

I hope you always remember that you are amazing and wonderfuul exsctly the way you are and don't need to change for any one else.

I hope you always work hard and give your best in all you do.

And, I hope you always know that we - both your Daddy and me, and a much larger we - are here for you and loving you. No matter what. That we will back you and support you. That we are here for you whenever you need us and ready to help in any way we can. That we will always do our best for you. And that we love you more than we'll ever be able to express.

Love,
Mom

Time To Panic

One of the hardest things in my ELA classroom is helping kids transition from picture book readers to chapterbook readers. They need confidence and guidance to pick books they can be successful with. If they pick a huge book for their first try, they often find themselves floundering and running back to their picture book comfort zone.

Because we do a program called AR, the kids have a point goal they must reach by the end of the quarter. I break the 100% into weekly goals for them so that we can all try to stay 'on track'. This works great most of the time ... But when I'm starting a kid on chapter books they sometimes become concerned. "What if I can't test on it this week and I'm not at _____ % by Friday?!". Try as I may to explain how chapter books are worth more points than picture books and will therefore jump their percent up higher when they do test on it, that can be a tricky concept for them to understand. If they get behind on their %, they panic and want to cram in all short books again.

So, my standard phrase of comfort has become this: "Give it a try. Dont worry. I promise I'll tell you when its time to panic."

I tell them daily "don't worry, we still have time. Its not time to panic yet."

And then as we near the end of the quarter I begin telling some that have gotten behind "okay, time to kick it in to high gear! The quarter's end is coming soon."

And rarely, oh so rarely I have to say "hey kiddo ... Its time to panic."

I only have to say that rarely because we know exactly send the end of our time is coming. We know when we must have our goal reached. We've broken our progress into tanagable chunks because we had a timeline to base it on. Planning = no need to panic.

But (ready for real world application?) Guess what. We don't know when Christ is coming. We weren't given a set date by which our goal of being ready for his return must be met. We don't have a definite end time - and therefore no set 'chunks' we can break our progress in to.

So, for all intensive purposes ... Its time to panic.

If you aren't saved ... If your life isn't right with God ... If you aren't SURE of your salvation, its time to panic! Because the end of our time could be any time. Later today? Tonight? Tomorrow? We don't know. So the only safe way is to be ready already - and stay ready every day!

Even my 4th graders know its better to reach your goal early so you don't have to be stressed. They also know that once they reach their goal, they need to keep reading to work on becoming a better reader.

And so it is with us. We need to be ready for the end of our time now. Because even if our time isn't up quite yet, it is a much better feeling to be sure of our salvation than to be in panic mode. But, just like my kiddos, we don't get to quit working once we are saved ... We keep working and studying to become better Christians. If we stop and Gert stangnat, well, we may find ourselves needing to be back in panic mode again.

I'd love to tell you "Don't worry, give it a chance, we have plenty of time" ... But I won't because I can't promise you that we do.

I'd love to tell you "its time to kick it into high gear! The end is coming up soon" ... But I won't, because I can't measure for you how soon it will be.

So instead, I'm telling you this ... If you arent ready to face Him in judgment. If you aren't SURE of your salvation. If you've never been saved. If you need to make some adjustments. If, if, if .... Then its time to panic. Not panic like flail around and cry - panic like fix the problem NOW.

Its amazing what a 9 year old can do when you tell them its time to panic with AR - they are suddenly a super reader who reads in every free moment at school and takes books home to read, too, all to reach their goal and get themselves ready. They panic - make the necessary changes to their effort level - and they get it done.

How much more important is your soul than a simple reading goal? How much more worth being ready for is our spiritual end of time than the end of a schoool quarter?

So panic. Make the necessary changes. And get yourself ready today.

3 Types of People

My class watched a video about Jim Lovell, the pilot of the Odyssey in the Apollo 123 space mission, today. At the end of the video, while talking about the importance of his Mission Control team, Jim said this:

"There are 3 types of people in this world. There are people who make things happen. There are people who watch things happen. And there are people who simply wonder what happened."

Quotes like that beg the questions 'which type of person am I?' And 'Which type do I want to be?'

Those questions are easy for me to answer ... I *hate* having to wonder what happened. And I rarely enjoy just watching. So that only leaves one option.

It makes me think of James 1:22 "be ye doers of the word and not hearers only". Spiritually, we need to *do*. Do talk to people. Do get involved. Do live correctly. Do good.

We simply can't afford to just sit back and watch!

And, if at the end of our lives we are simply left wondering what on earth happened? .... Well, that is certainly not a position I want to find myself - or anyone else - in. 

So that leaves one option. Get up. Get going. Be a doer. And be the type of person that makes things happen. Pronto.

Blessings

I absolutely love listening to other people pray. Often I think what a person prays for and the way they say things give me a glimpse into their heart of hearts. I am constantly humbled by the innocense of a child's prayer and the wisdom of an old man's words. Sometimes I am blown away by the simplicity of a phrase spoken to God ... Sometimes I am left pondering a complicated thought shared. Prayers are just awesome.

Yesterday I heard my mom pray (at lunch with some of my aunts). Among other things she prayed "Lord, help us with our struggles and with our blessings."

....and with our blessings?

My first thought was a chuckled 'I usually need more help with my struggles than with my blessings!' But, the more I thought about it,  the more  I realized that isn't quite true.

I have a lot of blessings ... and when I really think about it, I need a whole lot of help with all of them!

*I'm getting ready to have a baby. That's a huge blessing ... And I am going to need oh so much help from God. For patience. For wisdom. For strength. For calmness.  For 5 billion things I haven't thought of yet that I know I will be pleading for help with. To raise our daughter in such a way that she chooses to follow God. To make the right decisions fo r her. Oh yes, I'm going to need help with that blessing.

*I have a wonderful husband who has taken the best care of pre-pregnant and pregnant me. And I know he'll be a great daddy, too. Our marriage - my best friend - is a huge blessing. But I often pray about it ... To be calm when we don't see eye to eye. To be more patient, more understanding. To be a better wife. And I've seen enough to know that raising children doesn't always make marriage easier .... So you can bet I need help with that blessing.

*My job is a wonderful blessing that I love. Yet it can be both trying and tiring. It requires patience that I often pray for. It requires dedication and hard work and pulling myself out of bed each morning even when I'm exhausted ... And so often it is a blessing I need help with.

*Our friends and family are my favorite people around. They are there for me whenever I need them. They make me who I am. They are a blessing. Yet how often do I pray for the right words to say in a discussion? The right way to help in a situation? Patience? To be a better friend? A better sister/daughter/granddaughter etc? They are a blessing that I need help with. 

*Our material things are a blessing ... Our cars, our house and all that it holds, our paychecks. And so often I pray for wisdom in how to use our things. So often I pray for help not taking what I have been blessed with for granted. Things are a blessing I need help with.

I think one crazy thing about this world is that it works to turn the very blessings we are given into the every day struggles we have. Satan works against our attitude, our patience, our better judgment ... And soon what we once saw as blessings are being viewed as simply one more thing to deal with.

Do I view my marriage as the blessing it is, or as the struggle Satan tries to turn it into at times? What about my relastionships with other people? And my children? Can I look at my job and still feel blessed? Am I using my posessions in such a way that they are a blessing or letting them become a struggle in the way of my spiritual walk?

God blesses us. Satan fights to make us overlook those blessings.

So, as we enter a new year, a wonderful blessing from God, I'll be asking (frequently) for His help with my blessings - seeing them, appreciating them, and using them for Him - because sometimes, we all need help with our blessings.

Perspective

Christmas Eve we always celebrate with my mom's family ... Grandma, Grandpa, Aunts, Uncles, cousins ... There were 22 of us there this year (plus 2 dogs).

It was wonderful. It was joyful and noisy.  Everyone enjoyed themselves (who wouldn't with good food, good company, and prsents all around?). Even Uncle smiled more than usual.

I say 'even Uncle' because its often hard to tell how Much he is able to enjoy. He doesn't talk much and he hears even less. In as crowded room he may not be able to track much of a conversation. I know he is sometimes confused. I'm sure he is sometimes frustrated.

After the events were over, Robbie and I drove Uncle back to Veteran's Home on our way through town. I hadn't been in a car alone with him in a while. ... I expected a quiet, dull ride. I was wrong.

"What a beautiful day it is!" he said. "Yes, though I'd like to see the sun a bit" I replied. "Oh, that didn't stop the fun we were having in there, did it?" He countered.

He continued "I think I've had the best life a man could ever have lived. And I'm still living it. And today just proves it!"

*um, insert foot in mouth for any time I've ever complained.

The whole way to town he went on about how he is 'writing the history of his life' (it may be the 4th time hes done so I think ... But each time he remembers something not included in the previous volumes).

He went on about things that have made his life so great .... Times that were hard (like The Great Depression and World War II) that simply "made me better".

He rambled about people who had helped him along the way (he claims he was forced to go to high school when someone offered to pay for it, forced to go to college when the military helped pay, and basically forced into teaching and coaching).

He discussed the memories he has of family past that he wants to write down for 'us kids'.

And every so often would say "the more I write about it, ghe more I knowI've just had the best life a man could ever live!".

Here is a man who has seen and experienced first hand hardships I have never had to face. A man wounded in war who almost died. A man who never married, never had children. A man who cannot hear and whose knees are giving out and must hurt terribly. A man fast removed from the "prime" of his life. A man whose daily high light is 'going to the country' each day when someone picks him up from the nursing home and takes him to sit and visit and my grandparents for a bit.

A man who has real perspective. A man who is thankful and counts himself as blessed. A man who easily recognizes what an awesome family I get to be a part of ... A man who has been a huge part of making it awesome.

There were things he could so easily complain about. Things he could be bitter and angry about. But instead, he chooses to say "I've had the best life a man could ever live - and I'm still living it!"

Talk about an example. Talk about humbling.  Talk about perspective.

Because, when you look at it his way ... I've had the best life a girl could ever live ... And I'm still living it. And each day just proves it!

New Happenings

So, it's been a while since I've written ... A long while.

Lots has been happening lately. Namely this:

We are getting quite ready for Miss Lydia to join us in about a month and a half! Add in teaching and a holiday season, and you have one tired and busy soon to be mom ... But tired and busy in all the best -my life is wonderful and I am incredibly blessed - ways.

So, with the nursery ready, lazy dog Jax and I are enjoying our winter break from school, taking it easy, and finally finishing writing the tons of thank you cards I need to get in the mail.

AND, I found a new inspirational thought that I LOVE ... And that is sure to help my mindset when things get nerve wrecking or tough ...

"Instead of saying 'Lord, I don't know how I am going to do this,' say, 'Lord, I can't wait to see how you do this.'"

Because, after all ... "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13