Unexplainable

Disclaimer: Please excuse the following ramble. I have a lot of thoughts and I need to get them out. But they have not been properly chewed on and digested and therefore will not come out eloquently. Bear with me.


Unexplainable things happen. Sometimes they are good. Often, like today, they are terrible. Unjustifiable. Incomprehensible. Unexplainable.

But, it is human nature to try to explain, to attempt to justify. So, in the next several weeks we (the media) will speculate. We'll discuss which video games the shooter liked. We'll talk about his childhood. We'll scrutinize every movie he ever watched. We'll hear and participate in heated debates over gun laws and availability. We will try to understand. We will try to justify.

Perhaps there is no justification. Perhaps it is impossible to understand. We might be better off to quit justifying. Quit trying to understand. Stop arguing about laws. Stop placing blame. Just stop. And pray. Pray a lot.

There is evil in our world. It is alive and active. It always has been and always will be. Sometimes we manage to close our eyes, plug our ears, and pretend it doesn't exist, but it always does. It isn't new - remember Noah? He built an arc to escape (with animals and his family) from a flood sent by God. A flood that destroyed the world and all on it. Why? Because "He saw the wickedness of the human race and that every inclination of the human heart was only evil continually" (paraphrase of Genesis 6:5). Evil has been here on earth - and, unfortunately, it isn't going anywhere. Evil isn't something one can explain away or justify or understand. It is just terrible, sad, evil. We cannot explain it away.

So what does that mean for us?

It means we need to stop forgetting that Satan is here and working hard. We need to be awake to that fact all the time, not just when a horrendous tragedy strikes. It also means we need to embrace the good in the world -- and, we need to BE the good in the world. Draw near to God. Live to please Him.

The thing about the evil in our world? We can't hide from it. We can't shelter our children from it. We can be "preventative", and I of course believe we should, but even preventions fail more often than we like. As long as there is evil in the world (which there always will be), there will always be people who are affected by it.

So, why are we all not becoming hermits? Why am I not quitting my job, holing up with my husband, and begging my mom to pull my little brother out of school? (because, lets be honest - there is definitely a moment or 10 when that is the gut reaction after such news). Well, have you heard the song "Safe in the Arms of Jesus"? I love that song.

The lyrics have been in my head all afternoon. "Safe in the arms of Jesus, safe on His gentle breast; There by His love o'ershadaded, sweetly my soul shall rest". There is one place evil cannot touch me - even when it hurts me physically. My soul is safe with Him. He can look out better for my family and friends way better than I can. He can take all of those innocent children to Heaven. He can provide comfort for their families. I can't. He can.

We cannot hide forever. We cannot hole up. We cannot build walls between us and the world. For one thing, evil will find us regardless. For another, if we are so busy hiding, how do we expect to spread His word? Be an example? In Bible class we used to sing the song "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine, all the time, let it shine". One verse says "Hide it under a bush? Oh no! I'm gonna let it shine" another says "I won't let Satan 'whoo' it out, I'm gonna let it shine..." Are we willing to let our light shine? Are we faithful enough, confident enough, not in our own ability to prevent, protect, and hide from danger but rather in His ability to take care of us, to face the world (and all the evil it holds)?

What a test of faith. To get up tomorrow. To go back to work, to school. (Personally for me, to think "What if that happened in MY school? Would I be able to handle myself? Do I what I needed to do? Go back to work ever?") To face the world each day. To allow our loved ones, our children, to face the world each day. Trusting Him is really our only option.

We cannot hide. We cannot necessarily protect those we'd like to protect. But we can know that our souls are safe. We can be prepared to face anything and everything with His help. We can help prepare our loved ones and our children - we can teach them what they need to know to be safe in His arms.

So hug your kids. Tight. Hug your spouse. Hug your (our your kids) teacher (they probably need it today). And then pray. A LOT. Be confused. Be sad. Be angry. And then pray. A lot more. Be frustrated. Talk about it. Think about it. And then pray more. And then get up. Dust yourself off. Go to work, to school. Let your families face the world with you. Love each other. Pray together. Pray for the effected families. Pray for your family. Pray for peace. Pray for calmness. And give up your feeling of control. Give up on the fact that you can protect ... and then lean on God a whole lot harder.  Because you, I, PEOPLE can't. But GOD can. And He will.

And for goodness sakes, read the Bible. Get to know God. Live to please Him. He is the only true security we can have in the world.

*My thoughts and prayers go out to each child whose innocence has suffered (Those killed in Connecticut by gun and those killed in China by sword alike). Each family who cannot yet see how to survive. To a community that is hurting. To a school that is devastated and cannot yest see how to rebuild. To people who are facing what no one should have to face. To everyone who is scared. To everyone that is hurting. I am heartbroken. I am praying.

It's the most wonderful time...

It started with some fun Christmas pictures my wonderful momma insisted on...

There was "writing in snow" (shaving cream) instead of on paper to practice our spelling words at school - and a early Christmas present of an Elf on the Shelf

A wonderfully fun Christmas show (that I didn't get nearly enough pictures of because it was dark!) the kids (and I!) loved it!

A Saturday filled with a 6th grade basketball tournament, hanging out with my sweet friend and her adorable family

And tonight, a winter choir concert (middle school)

Tomorrow my roommate from college is coming to see me on her way home for the holidays and I couldn't be more excited! =).

Sooo, here we go with the holiday season! If my (slightly spastic due to the time of year) class can make it through 6 more days of school, we will be good to go!! Hope your holiday season is off to a great start as well! =)

Exciting Happenings

        I should have gone to Wal*Mart tonight. I had every intention of going up right after school. Really. But I didn't. I didn't even do laundry or dishes or clean house ... woops! Nope, instead, I came home and took a nap. An hour and half nap people! And then my (oh so wonderful) hubby cooked dinner. And the dirty dishes are still sitting around my sink ... and I'm sitting here. Blogging. And I am soo okay with it.
     

                                                            I am exhausted.

       

         But it's a good kind of exhausted. You know, the kind that comes from having to much excitement. And I think I am on excitement overload. This week at school we flexed. It is a ton of work. I don't know how it is all going to go yet. We're still playing with our schedule we're still shuffling kids. If I'm being honest, on Monday I was ready to scrap the whole thing. But then Tuesday was better. And Wednesday was great. And today was PLC's....

         It is going to be an adjustment for me. I have ran a pretty structured classroom. I'm all for talking and cooperative learning, but I also like some structured quiet time where we work independently. There is suddenly a whole lot less independent work time happening in my classroom. Having another adult in the room means an extra noise level because we both pull groups (more kids talking) and we both run a group (and adult voices are loud). Angie and I work great together (or at least I think so) and I adore her! But we do have somewhat different styles and we are working to "marry" those. 

         It's a challenge. I love it. I love that it is WORKING. I love that the kids seem excited about the project we are starting. I'm excited that we are trying to find out what works best for kids.

         But, no matter how much I love school and adore my kiddos ... I am perhaps (okay, I AM) more excited about this next part: 

                                                We have a contract on a house!!

          I am so in love with the house - it's huge! It's just out of city limits and sits on 2 acres of mostly woods - it's close to town but secluded and lovely. And I am so excited! It will be fun to have a yard to work in, some small "fix-it-up" projects to do. And our own house!!!!! Today the termite inspection came back clean and wonderful. The house inspection also happened today so hopefully we will get the inspectors typed up report tomorrow or Saturday. I know there could still be glitches - things could even still fall through. But we are so hopeful and excited and thankful.

 .....and all of this makes me sleep a little less well at night, so therefore I must nap. Ha!

                                                What are YOU excited about?!

Thanksgiving Flop

I haven't said anything about Thanksgiving ... yet! I have approximately 5 billion things to be thankful for - all year round. And that is almost not an exaggeration. :). Seriously. Life is great - I have a splendid family, a wonderful husband, a great job, a marvelous Savior, a forgiving God ... I have no room to complain. Ever. But if I did, here is what I'd complain about tonight:

Why does this pintrest idea .... come out looking so much less awesome when I do it?!

 Okay, so at least some of them really did come out looking like different colored leaves - even if they weren't quite as good looking as the mystery person who I stole the idea from.

But, since after like 2 hours of baking pretty much all I have to show for it is this:

this Thanksgiving I am especially thankful for my momma, grandma, aunts, and sister. Because seriously, if my family was counting on me to deliver some amazing deserts tomorrow we'd all be in trouble. BUT since I have all these wonderful women to cook some splendid dishes to share, my sad looking leaf cookies can be ... well, hidden behind some tasty pies. =).

Yertle the Turtle

 

     Our school librarian sent out a page of questions about books to answer. If a class answers all the questions correctly you win a free book from the book fair we have going on this week. Soo, we were working on them yesterday. One of the questisons was "What turtle wanted to be king of all he could see?" (or something similar to that). Do you know the answer?

My kids didn't!! They didn't know Yertle the Turtle! This Dr. Seuss, people! It's like the building blocks of education!! ...okay, so that may be a *slight* exaggeration ... but I still couldn't believe it! So, we stopped everything and watched this:

 



...which, of course, is when another teacher (my mentor teacher) walked in ... go figure!  Ha! I told her this was some seriouse RTI  --- they didn't know something, I'm teaching it to them! :) Because, yes, Dr. Seuss IS that important! =)

 

Written Expressionless

        If you haven't read yesterday's post, read it first. Please. Let me sign like an excited, enthusiastic teacher before you see me sound like a frustrated, whiny teacher. Also, this is a long one ... you might want to pop some popcorn or something. Sorry =(.

        Now, with yesterday's post in mind .... prepare yourself!

This is one of my kiddo's journal entry's today.

      Can you read that? It says "I didn't like the field trip. I didn't learn anything, or see anything new. I hardly got see anything any way. It was a total waste of time and money." OH MAN.

       My kids came in today excited, as I hoped they would be, to talk about the field trip. Always looking for an excuse to write and build "writing stamina" I set my timer for 8 minutes and asked my kids to write the entire 8 minutes and fill at least half a page (though I told them most of us could at least write a full page - or two!). After all, we had a lot to say! After we wrote we had plans to use some awesome Kagan structures (like mix-pair-share) to share our writing with each other. Not a hard thing. In fact, we added more time to the timer because they wanted to. We mixed-pair-shared our hearts out. Except for this one kiddo.

      

       This one kiddo had the same 8 minutes. The same 2 extra minutes. The same amount of me walking around prompting *tell me more* *great writers expand!* *why did you like that part?* *why didn't you like that part?* (between writing my own entry because I wanted to share, too!). This student chose to write 5 sentences. And not expand. And not tell why. And chose to say "I don't feel like sharing" and "no, I do not want to write more".

        This is a high student. This is a kiddo I expected would especially enjoy the field trip becasue it would feed some need for knowledge. It would be different. Exciting. This is an excel student. This is a kiddo who can do better. Who does do better. Just, apparently, not today. 

I think a piece of my heart broke. 

         

         I probably didn't handle it well. In fact, at one point I looked at her, said "okay" and walked away. I walked away from a kid. Because I didn't know what else to try. I could have cried. So, as we transitioned to the next thing, I literally gave myself a "quit taking this personally and teacher up" pep talk. We worked on our awesome research projects. We read A.R.. And at conference time I went flying into a coworkers room for some ... therapy. 

         By the end of the day, this is what I had come up with:

•  I needed to not be so offended. I needed to let go of the fact that she didn't like the                      field trip. And, I needed to let go of the defiance, the refusal to write. It wasn't a personal attack on me.
• This wasn't the first time this kiddo had not preformed well with writing. In fact, she often struggles with writing and I've tried (what I feel like is) lots of different things. So, I decided I could not, would not, let this go any farther.
• I didn't want to punish. I wanted to prompt.
• I needed a challenge. So, after some advice from a couple different teachers, this is the letter that went home with  my student. Attached was a copy of her notebook page. After all, her mom had gone with us on the field trip ... and I wanted her to know what was going on.

    For the record, we (the student and I) also had a heart to heart talk. I was in excel to. I know sometimes its hard to have people expect a lot of you. I get it. We talked. We bonded. Then I handed her the letter ... and she wasn't very happy with me! I am excited ... and terribly nervous ... to see what I get tomorrow. I'm afraid it will be a very unhappy phone call or visit from an unhappy parent. But if it is, it is. Read the letter. Then tell me How would YOU have handled this situation?!

Dear kiddo,

After 8 minutes of “free write” time to write about our field trip, I was very disappointed that this is all you got down on your paper. I know you have way more thoughts than this. I expect more from such a smart girl like you! I know Mrs. O has you write every time you are in her class, and we write a lot in my room as well. Mrs. O and I both know you can do better than what I saw today.

I’m also disappointed you think you didn’t enjoy our field trip! Of course, I want everyone to love our field trips and learn a lot from them!
Good writers always expand on their writing … tell more, tell more. Good writers also back up their opinions with facts and information. So, since I know you are a great writer, here is my challenge:

Write me a persuasive letter or paper expanding on your writing this morning. I want to know why you didn’t like the field trip. Why do you think you didn’t get to learn anything or see anything? Give me the information to back up your opinion! I’d also like you to tell me what field trip would be a better use of our time and money.

          I am excited to read your ideas in the morning. Remember, it is great to have opinions, but you have to back them up with information and facts!!

Thanks,
                                                                                  Mrs. Moreland

    

       

Mixed Feelings

We had a field trip today (my first as a "real teacher"). And it was SPLENDID. I love watching the kids experience new things, learn new things, go new places. I even enjoyed listening to their conversations on the bus rides to and from Jeff City. I did NOT enjoy the fact that busses make me sick. And the ride to Jeff City makes me sick. So, therefore, the bus ride to Jeff City had me feeling pretty nauseous from about 8:45 to ... well, I still am. And we've been off the bus for over an hour. :P. BUT that didn't effect our day - and we had a wonderful time.

Experiences like this help me remember why I love teaching:

They were doing MATH (long division in fact) on the window!

This is my favorite room in the capital - and I LOVED watching the kids listen and stare in amazement at the pictures!

Lots of walking meant the kids were pretty sure they were going to die of hunger ... thankfully Mrs. Giacolone had done this field trip before and new to bring snacks!

We ran into another group (2 of our other 4th grade classes) on our way to the Governor's Mansion -- you'd have thought the kids never get to see each other! ha!

Listening at the Governor's Mansion

Checking out the awesome museum!

Conked out on the bus ride home =)

Class picture!

My mixed feelings?! We don't teach social studies. There is no way to make that sound better than it is. Yes, I try with all my heart to "squeeze it in" to our CA class ... I try to pick reading passages that touch on government issues, bring in current events, teach history ... but it is NOT the same as having a time set aside for teaching social studies. And they desperately need that time. We went on this awesome field trip. My kids learned all kinds of stuff. But, when the lovely tour guides asked them questions like "Do you know who this picture is of? He was the only president from Missouri..." they didn't know the answer. And then the tour guides look at you like "uh, lady, did you know your kids don't know history?!" and you feel like the worst teacher of the century. Seriously. I OWE my kids more than that. They deserve to know. They NEED to know! *those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it*. 

So, while I definitely LOVED our field trip and am excited to talk to my kids about it tomorrow (we got back to school at 3:02 pm which left us zero time to talk about our day!), it also left me feeling a little sad and a touch guilty. Or a lot sad and a ton guilty, whichever :S. 

Guess I'll look for more time, more ways to "squeeze in" more social studies. Because seriously, "Science" is NOT an acceptable answer to the question "What do you learn in social studies" (that one wasn't in my class ... but still!!)

How do YOU cover everything you know your kiddos need to learn?! Any and all great tips welcome!!!