Letting Go

Today - like just about every day - there were approximately 801 interruptions and/or things I needed to take care of. Some of those things got handled today. Some, well ... didn't. 

I am NOT a person who likes to leave things, or people, hanging. Quite the opposite, infact. I prefer my lessons planned out 3 weeks in advanced, my email inbox empty, or at least sorted and saved, and all of my responsibilities filled a day or two early. 

But that doesn't always happen. In fact, in todays current chaos, it happens less than I'd like. 

And that is enough to completely stress out an anti-procrastinator such as myself. 

And, so, I'm working on letting go. Not a lot, and certainly not on letting go of the actual completing of responsibilities - I don't want to go crazy here - but when it comes to those things I truly can't fix or take care of *right now*, I'm working on letting go of the stress and self imposed guilt. 

The "letting go" looks different in each situation. 

-- Usually it looks like sticky notes, reminders, and lists. If I can't deal with it right now, you can bet it's on my to do list, you know, the list with arrows pointing to sublists. That's keeps me organized. If I need to take care of it later, I set an alarm or reminder in my phone ... Because if show and tell is remebered Friday morning as we leave instead of laid out Thurs night, that's harder. Those things keep me going. They are my assurance that "not done yet" doesn't mean "forgotten about".

-- Sometimes, and maybe increasingly much, letting go looks like practiced responses such as: "Yes, that is on my list of things to get to as quickly as possible. Thank you for your patience." This is a way I can remind myself and others it's okay that I am working hard, getting to things, and also get to have a life and priorities.

-- Sometimes, it looks like apologies... "I'm sorry I've wasnt able to for see this problem. Let's think about how we can work around it." This helps me because it takes away the guilt I sometimes impose on myself. Goodness knows I cannot actually foresee all problems that might arise ... And that's actually quite okay.

-- Sometimes it looks like a text "I'm not going to make it by for milk today - can you grab some?" I am so thankful for a husband who gets this and will pick up the milk and maybe cook dinner, too. He, and our extended support system are the reason the girls and I are able to keep going. I'd you don't have a support system ... You've got to get you one. Reach out so I can help you find yours.

-- Sometimes it looks like turning off the TV and reminding myself what I can control and what I can't - how I can impact my piece of the world and hope that spreads but cannot fix "it all". Priorities come into play here. I will gladly pray for the world sproblems - but I have to find the practical and manigible ways that I can work to fix problems I can have a hand in fixing, starting in my own little corner.

-- Frequently, it looks like straight up fails and flops because Im a long way from figuring all the chaos out. It looks like nail biting. It looks like tension headaches. It looks whiny or "snappy". 

-- And, therefore, the letting go always looks like prayer. So. Much. Prayer. To help me let go. To help me find which things I need to prioritize. To find peace with situations I cannot fix. For help withy timing and my speech. Prayer, because letting go isn't a natural thing for me - but handing it over the worry to God is something I can definitely get on board with.