Oh, words. We say a lot of them each day (sometimes too many) - and certainly a whole bunch of our life times. So, do the ones we choose matter? They absolutely do. Our words show our character to the world. Where God can see our heart itself, mankind sees our heart by the things that we do and the things that we say. Matthew 15:18 reminds us “But those which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.” Furthermore, we’re warned in Proverbs 13:3 “He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.” So, to what extent do our words matter? What things should we be saying and what things should we not be saying?
For the most part, what we should be saying is easy to identify in scripture. We know that we need to be speaking the truth at all times. Ephesians 4:29 tells us “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”, and Ephesians 4:25 we are told to put away lying and “let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor for we are members of one another.” We also know that our words should be kind and uplifting. Proverbs 16:24 reads “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” and Ephesians 4:32 says “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another…”. We know, just from our own experiences, that words have the power to tear down just as much as they have the power to build up. Our aim should always be to build others up and draw them closer to God. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 reminds us to “comfort each other and build one another up.”
Now, being kind and building one another up doesn’t mean we never have to say hard things. Unfortunately, there are going to be times where we simply have to have hard conversations. Maybe telling the truth means I can’t actually say "I love your outfit" - but I can probably find a way to still be kind about that. Disagreements on a personal level come, and while it does take practice, it is very possible to be kind even through the disagreements. What can be much harder is the times when we see the need to address wrong doings, sins, or areas where we see the Bible being disregarded, misused, or misunderstood. It is important to remember that we cannot shy away from these hard conversations. We are told numerous times in scripture that it is our responsibility to spread the gospel. In Mark 16:15 we read the instruction to “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.”, and in 2 Timothy 2:4 we are told “Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all long suffering and teaching.” Personal evangelism is an entire topic all its own that likely needs its own lesson book. So, for the purpose of this chapter, let’s agree that our words SHOULD be used to draw others to Christ and preach about Christ. We should be about our Heavenly Father’s work, spreading the gospel - and we’re going to need to use our words to help accomplish that goal.
If our words are meant to edify, encourage, draw others to God, and teach others about the gospel, there are, by necessity, some things our words should not be. James 3 spends several verses giving caution and instruction about our words. In fact in verse 8 we’re told “no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” Watching what we say can be hard - so hard. Undoing damage caused by our own words can be harder still. James 3 goes on to tell us in verse 10 that “Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.” We cannot use our mouths to both praise God and serve the devil - that double standard will never do.
Our words should be a reflection of our hearts - which we are aiming to make righteous and pleasing to God. In order to demonstrate this there are many things we need to avoid with our words
Inappropriate/profane “humor”: When listing things that should not be named among sayings, Ephesians 5:4 states “neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.” We live in a time where worldly morality seems to deem it ‘totally okay’ to tell rude and inappropriate jokes of a disrespectful, degrading, even sexual nature in ‘the name of humor’. Biblical morality reminds us that it is in fact not okay at all.
Gossip: 2 Timothy 2:16 warns us to “shun profane and idle babblings for they will increase to more ungodliness.” and, Proverbs 10:18 warns “...whoever spreads slander is a fool.” Gossip is easy to fall prey to. It draws us in and begs us to spread it. It’s so commonplace it’s hard to run away from. Yet we are warned time and time again in the Bible to be careful what we say and make sure we are building up and spreading truth - not tearing down.
Lying: Another “easy to say - sometimes hard to do” one is lying. Psalms 34:13 says “Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit”. Proverbs 6:16-19 lists “a lying tongue” and “a false witness who pours out lies” amongst things that God hates. Furthermore, Colossians 3:9 tells us “Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds…”. “Don’t lie” is a simple command to give but can be hard to practice in today’s world where the “little white lie” is often excused. Remember, God does not distinguish between levels of lies and sins.
Swearing: James 5:12 instructs “But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. But let your “yes’ be “Yes” and your “No,” “No,” lest you fall into judgment. It’s as simple as that. Dictionary.com defines “swear” as “to make a solemn declaration or affirmation by some sacred being or object, as a deity or the Bible.” or “to bind oneself by oath”. Long story short, our word needs to be good enough on its own. We shouldn't need to be affirmed by an object or being - we just need to be able to say “yes I will” or “No I didn’t…” and that is enough. “Do not swear” doesn’t need to be complicated - but it may be a habitual use of language that we have to put the time, focus, and effort into breaking.
Using Profanity (cussing/cursing): Though I’ve mentioned it before, Ephesians 4:29 very much applies here as well. It reads simply “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth…” But what are corrupt words? Some are more widely accepted, even by worldly morality. Words that are sexual and/or degrading in nature need not be used by the Christian. Taking God’s name in vain is also a big “no-no”. God is holy and we need to use His name reverently - when we are calling out to Him or actually talking to and about Him. Hell is another word that should be avoided unless used in its proper context. Furthermore, “damn” references wishing damnation on a person which is something the Christian should strive to avoid. The harder discussion on this topic is when we begin talking about euphemisms. Euphemism is defined as “a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blut when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.” So “gosh”, “heck”, and “darn” (and many others) would all fall here. Various people will take euphemisms to various levels. Is “gosh” bad but “golly” okay? What about “drat”? Each person needs to seek out where the line is. But we need to seek that line with the correct measurement in mind: are we using our words decisively for God? And are our words reflecting our righteousness? If not - we need to put in the effort to break bad habits and change our speech to be befitting that of a Christian.
It boils down to this: Our words show others about our hearts and we have the choice to use them to praise and glorify God, or slander Him. Matthew 12:36-37 gives us a warning we all need to pay close attention to: “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it on the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Your words matter. Choose them carefully.
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