Through Their Eyes.

 Every once in a while one of my girls says something in passing that jumps out at me and makes me thinks about things in a way I haven't before.  It happened again just the other day.

The girls were playing school with some dolls, and one of the students was apparently acting up a bit. My oldest, who is entering 2nd grade, was playing the teacher and said "Well, I'll just have to write that student's name on the board to remind everyone that he is bad."

Stop. Everything. 

I have written kids names on the board for many reasons at school. Line leader. Weekly helper. But also, who still needed to turn in a permission slip, who I needed to have a reading conference with, and who just couldn't stop talking during a guest speaker presentation and needed their attention "gotten" in a quiet way.

Never once have I intended to "remind everyone that he is bad." 

I can say with confidence that "reminding everyone that he is bad" has never once been the intention of any teacher my girl has had, either.

But here she was, playing school - and that was her rationale.

Now, I know, ... kids. They don't always understand things.

BUT GUYS. If even for a minute a kid thinks we are writing their name on the board to remind everyone else that they are bad .... that. is. terrible. 

We know a lot these days about kids emotions. We know kids don't function well when they are embarrassed. We know kids who are "labeled" a bad kid, often live up to it. We don't want to be any part of those things. If kids perceive that we are doing anything in order to make them stand out as "bad" or be labeled as "bad" or remind them - or anyone else - that they are "bad" .... how on earth can we expect them to work hard and be good?!

We can't.

Kids need us to tell them they are good. To show them they are good. To remind everyone else that they are good. Even when they aren't acting it.

Maybe it looks like "Hey Fred, I can see you are forgetting your manners right now. You are such a great kid, and I want you to be able to show everyone that! You need to stop _____ and remember to ______." 

Sometimes it looks like a quiet conversation in the hall instead of in the room to cause a scene.

Sometimes it looks like kneeling down next to them to talk softly instead of yelling at them across the room.

Sometimes, apparently, it looks like documenting their name, their need, their struggle, somewhere where not everyone can see it. 

I'm not saying you can never write a kids name on the board ... but you better believe I will be thinking twice before I write anyones name on the board for any reason that isn't absolutely positive - because I want to remind my kiddos to find the good in each other, certainly not remind everyone of the bad.