To The Me I Was Last Week

Motherhood.

Some days you're planning epic birthday parties, chauffeuring everyone to their favorite places, and winning all the mother of the year awards.

But other days? Other days you are on day 10 of cleaning up after sick children, tired because those 10 nights haven't been any easier than the days, and iced in at home wearing an old, unflattering sweatshirt.

Those days are hard.

The days when everyone needs everything and no one is happy about any of it. One child wants carried to the bathroom, one needs a change of clothes, one needs you to freshen the gatorade they are sipping, and one is asking for the 4th food of the day that you know they will only take one bite of. Everyone wants to play but no one feels good enough to enjoy it and so they just grump and fight. 

You play mediator, you play house keeper, you play short-order cook - complete with the unhappy customers, meltdowns, and tantrums.

Those days are hard.

The days where you dress everyone in their snow clothes which takes approximately 82 hours so that you can hurry outside and play for all of 2 minutes before someone needs to bring the littlest back in, and so you miss out on the actual good sledding fun. So, you start dinner, excited to start new recipe you are sure will redeem the day ... but it flops completely so you end up washing dishes and wiping down counters while leftovers warm in the microwave instead?

Oh, those days are hard.

But there is beauty in those long, monotonous, not very much fun, hard days. 

There are snuggles and I love you's. There is the security you are providing and the relationships you are strengthening. There is satisfaction in caring for the ones you love and adore. 

And though they don't always know how to express it themselves, sometimes they climb into your lap even though they are getting a bit too big to be comfortable there. They let you read them a story, and ask you to lay by them at night.

There is something incredibly wonderful about being the one that is there for it all - even on the hard days. 

But if you don't feel it now? If you can't exactly hold on to that feel good thought or it isn't quite strong enough to make you smile through the thick of it? That's okay too. Some moments just have to be gotten through. Some days are just hard.

Just know that some day, maybe even next week when it's an easier day, you'll look back and remember how hard it was - but then you'll be able to see the beautiful silver lining - and you'll be thankful you were the one who got to be the one, even on those long, hard days.