In Our Own Heads

Oh, to be as honest as the young ones are.

"Why did you do that?" I asked him. 

"I just follow whatever I want in my own head!" was his agitated reply. 

At the time that response frustrated me. Immensely. I really try not to do this, because it gives away my frustration, but I sighed - out loud - before responding. Then I said the best thing I could think of: "I guess that's why it's so important to think very carefully about the things we want in our own head." 

I ended our conversation still frustrated and not actually sure what discipline action was appropriate, and that led to me replaying the conversation in my head many, many times. 

.

On one such run through I realized that probably, the conversation we'd has was probably enough, and that the real reason I was stuck replaying the conversation was I actually needed to take my own advice. 

He was an impulsive 4th grader who was doing what popped into his head and seemed like the thing to do. 

I should be a less impulsive person seeing as I am.not a 4th grader .... But all too often I find myself doing the same thing. My own desires tempt me, my own thoughts "run amuck" and steer me wrong.

That kiddo, in a moment of his own frustration, said to me such honeat words "I just follow whatever I want in my own head." He had no real "reason" to offer me for his actions, and he was too honest to pacify me with excuses ... He simply had done what popped into his mind. 

How often do my actions scream that same thing to God? 

Oh, I don't go around intentionally telling God I'm doing my own thing, and chances are you don't either. But when we look at the root of our sometimes careless actions? When we truly dig to the heart of our issues and the tough situations we find ourselves in ... Isnt "I just followed whatever I wanted in my own head." often the real, true, catalist to much of our trouble? 

I didn't think it through. I didn't plan to sin. I didn't mean for this to happen. I just followed what I wanted in my own mind.

It will land us in a sticky situation every time. 

So, instead, I have to heed my own advice: It's so important to think very carefully about the things we want in our own heads. 

Because when our own wants don't match up with God's wants? We better think about them. When our first choice, or the fun choice, or the easy choice might possibly not be the right and best choice? We better think about it. In moments of passion? Frustration? Mere reaction? We better think about those things in our own head - and compare them to God's things very carefully ..... 

Because those things we want in our heads are also often the same things our own hearts know better than.