Pray for the Kids

"Mommy," Lydia asked today, "has the school decided that we can go back yet?"

And so I tried to explain, for the 18th time, that it would be awhile before we could go back ... and that by "awhile" I meant at least the month of April ... and that a month is about 30 days, and that "yes, 30 is a lot of tomorrows."

Because she simply doesn't understand. She doesn't understand why we aren't having friends over to play. She doesn't understand why we aren't going to visit neat places. And mostly, she doesn't understand why she can't go to school. "It isn't even summer yet, mom. It's not time for me to be done with preschool."

My momma heart is sad for my daughter. And my teacher heart is sad, and worried, for all my kids.

My girls are "living their best lives" right now - playing outside, enjoying our animals, snacking way too often, playing all the things, getting extra Mom snuggles, watching movies, playing games. They are learning like crazy from home, and because they are little enough for learning to feel like play - they don't even know how much of what we are doing is learning (win win!).

I am blessed, and thankful, to be able to give Lydia pretty much anything she needs right now. But what I can't give her? Her normal back.

I can't walk her to class to hug Mrs. Cindy. She can't swing by the library under the guise of turning in books for me to sneak a hug from our librarians. She can't catch Mrs. Debra and Mrs. Salter in the hall for hugs on her way to class. She can't peek in to Ms. Jen's room to pester her for candy wave at her after school. I can't let her play with her friends at recess. All the stories she has at the end of every day about all her classmates and who did what? I can't recreate those for her right now. And she misses every single bit of it.

She's too smart to be fooled ... she knows it isn't summer. It isn't time for this extra home time and separation. She isn't taking a break to prep for Kindergarten, she's simply missing preschool.

She's 5. And she knows and feels all these things. So what about my school kiddos? My 10 year olds who also know and feel all these things? Who know what they are missing and yet can't quite understand all the parts of it? The kids who are even more socially connected than Lydia? The kids who depend on their friends?

I am all about building the family unit and I am not sad my kiddos who have great families are getting extra family time - that part I'm happy about. I hope they are making extra crafts, playing a few extra video games, figuring out how to get along with siblings, reading with little brothers, brushing little sisters hair, pestering older siblings as only "littles" can .... I hope they are using this time as a recharge and finding creative, fun outlets. I hope they are playing family board games and watching movies together. I hope they are learning how to help cook, do laundry, and all those other things they will never learn in my classroom.

But I know....
I know some of them are missing a safe place.
I know some of them are a bit more hungry.
I know most of them are missing their teachers and the positive adult relationships  (because more positive relationships is  always better).
I know all of them are missing their friends (because even for those who can text, it's not the same).
I know all of them are trying to adjust to a different (or lack of) routine, and adjustments are hard.
I know all of them are struggling to understand this situation.
I know all of them are feeling - and even grieving - a loss of normal.

A majority of our kids are stuck somewhere in the middle of understanding enough of what is going on that you cannot fool them or shelter them and yet not understanding enough to be able to rationalize it all. They may not be able to express their thoughts or feelings. They may not be able to understand their thoughts and feelings. They may just fall apart every time "schoolwork" is mentioned (ahem - Lydia) ... not because of the schoolwork, but because of what it represents and reminds them of.

So, when you're praying for our leaders and our country and our world ... don't forget to pray for our kiddos, too. Pray for their comfort and peace. Pray for their parents to be able to help them and provide them all they need. And pray for a quick return to normal, for their sakes. Because kids, even the quiet ones, feel big, big feelings even during normal times. And times like these? They'll be feeling the biggest ones they know.