No Secret Rules

"Mommy," she whispered in quite the conspiratal tone "I'm going to tell you a rule that isn't written in those directions because ...." (her voice dropped to an excited whisper) "it's a secret rule."

....and that, folks, is how my 5 year old *may* try to beat you in just about any game. 

You've been warned. 

Because the thing about those "secret rules"? I can't verify them. I can't reread them to make sure I understand. I can't point them out to someone else to let them have a look. And, I can't be certain (seeing as how I have no record of these secret rules other than my own sometimes faulty memory) ... but I'm fairly sure that sometimes from round to round the "secret rules" change. 

Any time the "secret rules" come in to play, I can't win. I didn't know about them, I'm not prepared for them, I can't predict how or when they will change, and they often seem to be quite a bit one sided. 🤔 

And so, we talk about why it's not fair to have rules that are secrets. We discuss why the game developers write all the rules out for everyone who wants to play to see. I reminder her that people can't follow a rule they don't know about and people can't be prepared for something they didn't know was coming. I point out that the game developers probably wanted everyone to have a fair chance at winning so everyone could play and have fun.

Then we check the (not secret) rules to see what we should do. 

And though those conversations aren't exactly fun in the moment, I know that someday she'll be thankful she can read the rules and understand them. I know that someday she'll be glad she has a fair chance and understanding, figuring out, and winning any game she wants to play.

Right now she's 5 and making up rules is age appropriate and doesn't bother me. But the concept is important for me to help her understand because I pray that someday she'll realize and be thankful for the fact that God also doesnt have any secret rules. I pray she'll realize the importance of sharing His word where He has laid out for us exactly what we need to do to be prepared to win our heavenly crown (with no secret, unwritten extras). That we all have a fair chance of understanding His words, the ability to reread when we need to, an equal opportunity to abide by His laws, and a fair shot at "winning" eternity.

And that, folks, is way more important than any game I play with her now.