The word modest has three common definitions. In all three definitions “modest” is a noun, which means it is a thing to be looked at, examined, and achieved. The three definitions are as follows:
Modesty -
The quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one’s abilities.
The quality of being relatively moderate, limited, or small in amount, rate, or level.
Behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.
Modesty is a multi-faceted idea that pertains to how we dress, but also how we act, and even our possessions. The first definition in particular addresses the way that we are about ourselves. If we look at worldly morality, we are encouraged to brag and show off, expect and demand praise and credit. Biblical morality tells us to be humble, giving glory to God. Luke 14:11 says “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”, and Colossians 3:12 reminds us to “...put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long-suffering…”.
Humble is an adjective which means “having a low or modest estimate of one’s own importance.” Humility is a noun meaning the same thing; “having a low view of one’s own importance”. So, when we are told to be humble, or have humility, we are simply being instructed to not overestimate our own importance. Colossians 3:17 say “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” which should remind us the importance of giving God the glory and praise, not ourselves. In 2 Timothy 3:1-5 when describing unpleasant things that will take place, Paul includes “...men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud…” and tells us in vs. 5, “...from such men turn away.” and we are warned to keep our intentions pure Matthew 6:1 “Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men to be seen by them. Otherwise you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.” and Luke 14:11 tells us “For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”
However, being humble does not mean we shouldn’t take any credit for what we do, want to be good at what we do, and be proud of what we do. Colossians 3:23 goes on to say “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men…” which solidifies the idea that we need to give our best efforts to the things that we do. We must keep the important understanding that the things we are blessed with are thanks to God, not ourselves. So, when it comes to how we act about our own importance and self worth, we need to work hard, be proud when we do, but give God the glory and do not put ourselves above others.
The second definition of modest references a measurement. In all cases it refers to something being not excessively large, not excessively extravagant, not excessively expensive. Worldly morality does not dispute this definition in any way - though most cultural norms are not overly concerned with things being this definition of “modest”. There is nothing wrong with us taking part in extravagant things every now and then. Sometimes it can be quite harmless fun to go to a fancy restaurant, splurge on an expensive item we’ve been eying, etc.
Biblical morality cautions us to remain aware of our intentions. It is not bad or evil to have “things”, but Matthew 6:9-12 tells us “Do not lay up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”, and 1 Timothy 6:10 states “The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil…”. In Luke 12:16-20 we read a parable about a man who had such a bountiful harvest his barn couldn’t store it all, and he opted to tear down his barns and build bigger ones. Perhaps it is not the “things” or even the “size of the things” that matters so much, but the way we are using them for God, and our reasons behind having them.
The third definition of the word modest is perhaps the one you’ve been expecting to read about as this definition pertains to the way we act and dress. I think it is important to note here, that on this particular topic, worldly morality changes drastically over culture and time. If you are not convinced of that fact, pause here and do just a tiny bit of research on acceptable women’s fashion in the United States over time, and also in other countries. Things that are “acceptable” behavior (such as cursing) have also changed. When a morality code changes, we need to be weary of it, for as the Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 1:9 “That which has been is what will be, that which is done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.”
If we look purely at the definition, modesty is “behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency”. Impropriety is “a failure to observe standards or show due honesty to modesty; improper language, behavior, or character.” Indecency is “behavior not conforming with generally accepted standards of behavior or propriety, not appropriate or fitting”.
So what are the “accepted standards” we should be conforming to? In our current cultural climate, worldly morality screams “No one is allowed to have an opinion on what I wear or how I act. As long as I am not breaking laws, no one can judge me or my dress code.” Yet the Christian knows better.
Biblical morality shows us there is an unchanging standard of modesty the Christian is expected to uphold. Perhaps the most “turned to” scripture concerning modesty is 1 Timothy 2:9-10 which instructs women to “...adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works”. I hope you noticed the reference to “moderation” which we talked about earlier in this chapter. The idea of “not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing” ties back into things discussed when looking at the second definition of modest. Just as the things that we have are not to become a spectacle to show off or draw attention to ourselves, neither should the things that we wear. Sometimes called “flashy” or “overdressed”, this one is perhaps easier recognized (though not minded) by worldly morality.
There is a time and a place for a lot of things. There is a time to be silly and laugh loudly with friends - but there are also times that would be deemed situationally inappropriate behavior. There are also behaviors that are never appropriate or modest. There is also a time and place for different types of dress. Many places, such as businesses or theaters, even have dress codes. Part of being modest is dressing for the event or purpose. A certain amount of this is common sense. If you work at a bank there is a good chance it would be deemed immodest for you to show up in flip flops, shorts, and a tank top. Likewise, if you showed up for a day of fishing in a three piece tux … that would be inappropriate for the situation. The Christian’s goal should never be to draw attention to oneself, but rather to do all things in a modest, humble way that gives glory to God - that includes our actions and our attire.
Perhaps the more difficult part of 1 Timothy 2:9-10 is the part that mentions “propriety” (the condition of being right, appropriate, or fitting), and “proper for women professing godliness, with good works.” If a woman - or a man - goes on a float trip…. What are they to wear? If a lady goes shopping for a dress for an event … which one is she to choose? If a man is doing yard work and gets sweaty, can he take off his shirt? These are questions that Christian’s search the scriptures for answers too.
Modesty begins in Genesis 3:7, when Adam and Eve ate of the fruit of the tree of good and evil and their eyes were opened, they realized they were naked and they were ashamed enough to sew fig leaves together and make themselves coverings. Clearly, even being the only two people around, Adam and Eve knew that out in the garden was not an appropriate place for their nakedness - having their eyes opened, they felt guilt for being immodestly dressed. In Genesis 3:21 we read “Also for Adam and his wife the Lord God made tunics of skin and clothed them”. Generally a tunic is concerned to be a loose fitting piece of clothing that covers the top of a person and goes at least to their knees. God here shows that yes, it was right for man to be clothed rather than naked (why else would he have made them coverings?). In Exodus 28:40-43 priests were instructed to wear tunics and trousers to cover their nakedness. We are now part of the royal priesthood - no, we aren’t wearing tunics and offering sacrifices - but 1 Peter 2:9 tells us “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation…” and we must live up to that name.
Yet in scripture, God does not give us an exact dress code, which is a blessing in itself. If the New Testament laid out an exact dress code it would in, great likelihood, be from the times of the 1st century church … and if you paused earlier to look at how acceptable fashions have changed, you will be glad to know you do not have to dress exactly like a Christian in the 1st century church to be pleasing to God. What we are provided instead is guidelines for overall righteousness and left it up to us to accomplish both modesty and appropriateness in the way we present ourselves as Christians before the world.
Think about those words - present ourselves as Christians before the world. No pressure there, eh? If we are to present ourselves as Christians to the world, we cannot blend in too closely with the world. Romans 12:2 admonishes us “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
If our dress does not show that we are keeping our bodies holy for God, that is a problem. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 reminds us “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are Gods”.
So what is the “dress code”? What do we wear that will not draw undue attention to ourselves, be appropriate, show that we are living for God, protect ourselves and not lead anyone else to sin? I cannot scripturally give you an *exact* one, but perhaps the tunic idea of “shoulders to knees” is not a bad idea. Certainly, outside of the private marriage relationship, any part that could tempt another, needs to be covered. What doesn’t need to be shown, really shouldn’t be. Women, that means our cleavage, our midriffs, our bottoms, and our upper thighs need to be covered. Men, that means your chests, your midriffs, your bottoms, and your upper thighs need to be covered.
It’s not a super popular idea by any means. It doesn’t make clothes shopping any easier. It doesn’t even let you be “the life of the party” all that often. Yet, modesty is one of the most important things to winning others to Christ because it is one of the first things people notice about us. When you walk into a room - people see you, what you are wearing, and how you act. Modesty matters. In Isaiah 61:10 King Hezekiah wrote “For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness.” God clothes you in those things, too – and if your outward garment isn’t matching up and showing that fact, then there is work to be done.
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