When Cheering Doesn't Feel Like Cheering

A week or two ago I had to say no to my kiddos request to join a group that a lot of her friends are in because they meet at the same time that we go to church. 

They only meet once a month. I could have excused it. I could have made excuses for it. 

A few months ago she wanted to participate in an activity we said no to. It would have been innocent and fine at the level she was at as a 7 year old. It probably would have been cute even. 

But, as much as it is hard to say no to her sometimes ... A lot of the times .... Rob and I constantly remind ourselves that the girls' "in the moment" happiness is not actually our end goal.

Oh, their in the moment happiness is important to us. So, SO important to us. 

But our end goal is their *long term* happiness. And their long term salvation. 

And the "in the moment" happiness does not always guarantee that long term goal. Sometimes it works against it. 

So, instead of saying "we can miss church this time" I remind myself I have to help her understand how important it is to put God first. I have to help her understand at her level now so that she can learn and understand on her own, deeper level later.

And instead of saying "you can do that dance now while you're little but not when you're bigger.", I try to help her understand how important modesty is. I have to help guide her heart now, so that she can study and understand on her own, later. 

I may have realized one of the hardest parts about being a parent: I so desperately want my kids to know that I am their biggest cheerleader and always will be.  Infact, I will ALWAYS be cheering them on. But my cheering may not always *feel* like cheering to them. 

I want to cheer them on in what they enjoy. In what they are good at. I also want to cheer them on in what they are struggling with. In what they are attempting to learn. In what they are interest in taking on.

But even more than that, I want to cheer them on in their growth towards being awesome people. I want to cheer them on in their growth towards God. And I want to cheer them on in their journey to Heaven. 

Those long term goals have already started, even though they are young. And they'll continue to be my long term goals through much trying decisions than my girls are at now. 

And, so, sometimes I will have to look past the short term goal of "make them happy" in order to focus on the long term goal of "help lead them to Christ." 

And even harder ... I have to toe the line of balance. Make my decisions in a way they can accept. Explain the reasons in a way they can hear and understand.

Figure out the right choice when there isn't an easy one. 

And sometimes, many times even, I am going to have to love my girls enough to tell them no.

I have a feeling lots of people will love my girls enough to want to see, and even help make, them happy in the moment.

But that short term happiness doesn't always lead towards a happy end. 

It may be up to me to love them enough to tell them the hard truths. To say no when it isn't what they want to hear.

To love them enough to cheer them to the long term goal even when in the short term it doesn't feel like cheering to them 

Because "no, I don't think we should...." Never feels like cheering when you hear it. But sometimes, in hindsight, we realize that the people who questioned our decisions and pushed us towards better ones were actually cheering us on the loudest of all.