Asking For Help

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. 

Asking for help doesn't mean you owe anyone an explanation or back story. 

Asking for help, in no way, requires an apology. 

Asking for help does not require favors owed.

There is a falsehood that plagues us .... That we should be strong enough to do it all, carry it all, be it all. That we should suffer quietly, push through by whatever means necessary. Pull oursleves together any time someone is looking. 

I will not tell you to give in. 

I will be the very last to encourage you to lay down and let the world trample you. 

I will never encourage you to give up. 

But I WILL tell you this:

Asking for help IS the strongest acknowledgement of our humanity. 

Asking for help actually shows that you are strong enough, and aware enough, to recognize your own limitations. 

Asking for help does give others the opportunity to contribute, and feel a part of, your world. 

Asking for help definitely builds and strengthens connections between people. 

Asking for help is a way of saying "I trust you enough to let you see that I am vulnerable, and real, and human." 

I will not judge. I will not laugh. 

I will acknowledge your strength. I will help you move forward even if the only "real" help I have to offer is to walk beside you through the journey.

Lots of people will. 

Because asking for help doesn't showcase your weakness. Asking for help merely let's us see your strength.

Sometimes Someone

There is often someone

Watching awfully close. 

And sometimes they are cheering

But sometimes, well, they don't. 

All too often someone

Isn't watching for success,

They are watching for the slip up

Even cheering for the mess.

From the shadows someone

Waits quitely nearby

Or maybe that someone boldy throws

hurdles you must go by.

And sometimes that sneaky someone

Is so well in disguise

That your struggle seems imaginary

To other neutral passerbys. 

And so, often, that someone

Really needs to know

That they can just keep waiting

Because you have only up to go

Yes, indeed that someone

May be surprised to see

That you see and call their game play

Though unsure of the motives you may be

Don't give in to that someone,

They aren't worth the fold.

They may be causing hardship

But you are wise and bold.

Simply show that someone

That you can play the game

And while you can't claim perfection

And you need not rise to fame...

You are a stronger someone

Than they have pegged you for

And just keep moving forward

Seek better, push for more

Inspite of that someone

You are steadfast, you are true

And you know along the sidelines

There are others backing you. 

You will outlast the someone

They will tire, they will give

As you calmly do the right things

And a steady message send

You are a worthy someone

And the rest of us can see

That you're worth the cheer and backing

We're as ready as can be

We'll jump in to be your someones

In your corner, at your call,

Hold you up with quiet strength

Greatful you stand tall. 

There's a lot of someones

Watching close our tried and true

Aware that you are working hard

And oh so proud of you. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sometimes you have to play a person's game just enough to show them you aren't giving in to them.

Sometimes you have to fight battles quietly because, due to various circumstances and situations, you can't share all details. 

Sometimes it's really, really, hard. 

But all the time there are more people in your corner than you might think in the moment. 

And all the time God is with you as you do your best for Him. 

And all the time you are worth the struggle, and you deserve some cheers. 

I don't know when it gets easier. But I know you have the strength to make it to that point. 

Don't give in to the pressure to fail. Play the game just a bit longer and you are likely to come out on top -- even if it isn't exactly the same "top" you originally thought you were aiming for. 💪

They are watching you anyway. Don't let them see you buckle, let them see you succeed. 

A Little Bit Big...

While I was organizing my daughter's bedroom this weekend, it hit me: we've entered the in-between years. 

We're in-between hand made little kid beaded jewelry and grown up real necklaces that need a place. 

We're in-between dolls and Legos and in-between little kid craft supplies and big kid notebooks and pens. 

We're in-between little kid play and big kid play. In-between little kid toys and bigger kid trinkets and decorations. In-between little kid emotions and big kid understandings. 

And ya know what? We'll be here a while. 

And that's okay. 

I'm this in-between stage, I get to watch her explore. Which passions will she hold on to? Which things will she try out and choose to grow in?

In this in-between stage I get a shopping buddy who can enjoy just browsing with me,  and her sister still gets a playmate.

In this in-between stage I get to guide her interests and help her distinguish between situations that call for her to "be big" and when its okay to just play and be crazy.

Oh, sometimes this inbetween stage is hard. She feels aaalll the things and somehow I'm supposed to get her through them. Sometimes I find myself wishing she'd just "act big" and sometimes I'm sure my actions show her as much. But most of the time? Most of the time I find myself wishing it would all slow down and let her stay little a bit longer. 

Because she is my big one. But she's also still my little one. 

So I'll make a place for the favorite dolls next to her desk and drawing pads. I'll hang the necklaces next to the beaded jewelry. And, I'll say a prayer that I can help us both navigate this in-between stage in a way that doesn't rush it, but rather, let's us savor it. 

I don't want to rush the growing up. It's okay for her to be a little bit big and still a little bit little for at least a little bit longer. ♥️

The Unknown Struggles

I paint my nails every other day or so. 

Literally.

I'm not saying that because I'm terribly proud of it... It's actually sort of ridiculous. I can't even really claim to enjoy it. I'm not great at it, and I don't like sitting still long enough for them to dry, So they often have smudges and imperfections.

I don't necessarily even paint them because I want them to look pretty. I definitely don't do it because I expect you to look at my hands and be in love with how great my nails look.

I paint my nails every other day because I'm a habitual nail biter in recovery. For the first time in my life that I can remember I have meals to the ends of my fingers. They are mostly healthy. They are less prone to breakage than they were.

But, when the paint chips or the imperfections become too much, I start picking at them. And picking at them quickly turns to chewing on them ...  which takes me from being "in recovery" to "I'm a nail biter". 

I paint my nails every other day because nail biting was a bad habit, and I'm trying to make nail care a better habbit. 

But you wouldn't know how hard I'm working on that if you just saw me. You wouldn't even know it if I just told you I paint my nails every other day or so. 

I'm not the only one working on a problem that not everyone knows about. I'm not the only one who's doing something that may seem silly to others because it's helping me any real way.

Working on ourselves is a lifelong process. Sometimes one that goes in loops. Sometimes when those frustrating and tedious and tiring.

It's something we're all doing all the time. We don't always know about each others struggles. But we can always be understanding, even if the struggles we don't see and know about. 

Don't feel silly when you are working on you.